RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (Full Version)

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LadySeraphina -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 11:34:03 AM)

Dom(me)s should be eligible to claim ferrets and submissives as dependents on income tax.



Lorelei115 -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 12:38:56 PM)

EVERYONE should be allowed to claim cats as dependants. [:D]



Bearlee -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 12:55:29 PM)

 
There otta be a law...some sort of scientific rule, that both the re-wind button on my remote AND the delete key on my keyboard worked for 'real life'...
 
beverly



Gauge -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/22/2006 8:34:47 AM)

Yesterday I was in the local grocery store. There was a woman at the Customer Service counter cashing in her lottery tickets. Now, there was a line at Customer Service and I cannot blame the store employee for anything except to say that she should have called for help at the counter. We (the unfortunate dolts standing in line waiting) stood there whilst this woman argued that her tickets won when they hadn't. The employee told this woman that one number on a lottery ticket doesn't make her a winner. The woman disagreed. Meanwhile the line doubled in size and one woman in line looked as if she was going to fish out a sword and off this twit "cashing" in her lottery tickets; I would not have stopped her.

My Law: Anyone too stupid to figure out if their lottery tickets have won or not should not be allowed to play any lottery game at all.

For Violation of my law: Anyone violating my law will be forced to stand in line at the Department Of Transportation. When their turn comes, the window that they are waiting for will be closed and they must move to another line. The cycle will repeat until the person either learns how to read their lottery tickets or until their death... whichever comes first.



eyesopened -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/22/2006 8:48:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal
My aunt's cat says: All people would be required to serve their cats in whatever capacity the cat wants & needs. To violate this means instant & certain death followed by reincarnation as a mouse. [:D]


My cats totally agree!
 
Lady Topaz.


my cats already have that law enacted although thankfully not strictly enforced.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/22/2006 8:52:00 AM)

I wish that there was a law saying making your 5 year old* and any other child still to little to choose foods* 500 pounds because you're to lazy to properly parent and feed them right was child abuse. I see so many moms who're like 300 400 500 plus and their little kids are too because mom is, and what mom eats the kids eat. Now I am probably going to offend some people, but I think it's neglectfull to turn your young kids into obese miniture mom's because mom eats like crap and don't exercise and teaches their 4 5 and 6 y.o to be like that too.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/22/2006 8:58:56 AM)

since collarme won't let me edit I will add mom's or dad's, but it's usualy mothers I see out with the kids.

And no not all fat parents feed their kids junk I know just most do.



michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/22/2006 8:59:18 AM)

i think there should be a law that requires politicians to take a lie detector test or be administered sodium penithal before they make any public speeches.



eyesopened -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/22/2006 9:04:53 AM)

Any person, company or corporation that designs, manufactures, distributes or sells plaid slacks or "bermuda" shorts should be imprisoned for one year and be made to wear the offensive items.  Sadly, as long as plaid slacks are made, some misguided individual will wear them.  Also, certain clothing items should have either weight or age restrictions or both.



twicehappy -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/23/2006 6:09:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

quote:

All car drivers shall be required to pass a vision test that demonstrates they can see a motorcycle on the road. Any who fail this test shall not be allowed to drive.


I'll go further. I have always believed you need to do 2 years on a bike before you are eligible to go for a car licence


I started riding at 12, off road of course, so i agree with you on this one! Great idea!



twicehappy -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/23/2006 6:15:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KathrynSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

All car drivers shall be required to pass a vision test that demonstrates they can see a motorcycle on the road. Any who fail this test shall not be allowed to drive.

For those drivers who hit a motorcycle and then claim "I did not see them" shall be taken to an open field where the family and friends of the motorcyclist hit by this idiot can take turns running them over while loudly stating " but I did not see you standing there".


i'm fine with this law, but we have to make it fair to all parties involved, hence:

All motorcyclists are forbidden to go zipping from lane to lane because somehow you think that driving a motorcyle makes it acceptable behavior.

 
 
 
I happen to agree with you, this is dangerous behavior, these guys need to be put through a crash on gravel in the nude prior to being able to obtain their permits.
 
You will hardly ever see a Harley rider doing this, it seems to be a problem with those who ride the Japenese style sport bikes.
 



petdave -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/23/2006 8:53:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

I happen to agree with you, this is dangerous behavior, these guys need to be put through a crash on gravel in the nude prior to being able to obtain their permits.
 
You will hardly ever see a Harley rider doing this, it seems to be a problem with those who ride the Japenese style sport bikes.



That's because Harleys can't get out of their own way, much less carve traffic [:D]

For a sub, i think i'd make a great dictator-for-life
It shall be legal to defenestrate children who scream in restaurants if their parents do not remove or quiet them within 30 seconds
Cats, dogs, submissives, and old cars should be legal dependents
The penalty for propagating "spam" on the Internet would be having the hands chopped off- this applies not only to email, newsgroup, and message board spam, but also the lowlifes creating the thousands of garbage "portal" pages that clog search engine results
Television broadcasters must devote at least 10% of their programming time to pornography (starting with Sexual Sadistic Fear Factor, of course!)
"Free" sterilization for all who want it. Mandatory sterilization for anyone who has been arrested more than once, been on public assistance for more than six months, or who has appeared on a talk show such as "Jerry Springer" or "Maury"
You have one year to achieve a reasonable conversational fluency in the native language of any country you immigrate to. If you do not achieve this, you are deported. If you immigrate through extra-legal channels, you are deported via a large trebuchet.
Disband political parties- all candidates must run on their own merits. All ballots shall also have a "none of the above" option. If "none of the above" wins, all candidates in the race are prohibited from any future ballots for public office, and the election will be re-held in six months...


...dave



LadyEllen -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/23/2006 9:06:48 AM)

Sports shoes (trainers/sneakers) and sports clothes (tracksuits etc) shall only be worn for performing sport, on penalty of being branded (literally) an idiot. Additionally, smoking a cigarette whilst so attired and not engaged in sporting activity, shall incur a further brand "a complete", as a prefix to "idiot".

Men who turn up to weddings, baptisms, funerals and other important family events, as well as public events, wearing a tie at half mast and their collar open, shall be hanged with such tie until they choose to show some damned respect!

Single men living alone, shall clean their apartment and especially the toilet, at least once per month; an average increase in frequency of 12. There shall be a special team of inspectors appointed to check and verify. Any such person in violation of this law shall experience a ten minute swirly in said toilet and then be made to lick the dust and assorted other gunk from all surfaces and carpets in their apartment.

E




petdave -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/23/2006 9:12:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
There shall be a special team of inspectors appointed to check and verify. Any such person in violation of this law shall experience a ten minute swirly in said toilet and then be made to lick the dust and assorted other gunk from all surfaces and carpets in their apartment.

E


Hmm... before i can support this measure, i have to get some idea of what the inspectors will be wearing, and what sort of epitephs, restraints, and other forms of cruel impetus they may use to enforce their punishment [:-]



LadyEllen -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/23/2006 9:16:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
There shall be a special team of inspectors appointed to check and verify. Any such person in violation of this law shall experience a ten minute swirly in said toilet and then be made to lick the dust and assorted other gunk from all surfaces and carpets in their apartment.

E


Hmm... before i can support this measure, i have to get some idea of what the inspectors will be wearing, and what sort of epitephs, restraints, and other forms of cruel impetus they may use to enforce their punishment [:-]



Well, on the one hand the inspectors should be female, since women seem to have a better eye for this sort of thing, but on the other hand, this might well lead to deliberate violations I'm thinking?

So, how about a nice lady to come and check, then a couple of guys to ensure reparation for any violations?

E



LadyEllen -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/23/2006 10:28:08 AM)

Companies which use junk mail to promote their business, shall profer one shareholder per annum for summary execution.

E



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (12/5/2006 11:56:12 PM)

Actually I don't give a hoot about cleaning, and I am a female.  I am in fact just as slovely at times as the males.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

[Well, on the one hand the inspectors should be female, since women seem to have a better eye for this sort of thing,



petdave -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (12/6/2006 6:43:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
There shall be a special team of inspectors appointed to check and verify. Any such person in violation of this law shall experience a ten minute swirly in said toilet and then be made to lick the dust and assorted other gunk from all surfaces and carpets in their apartment.

E


Hmm... before i can support this measure, i have to get some idea of what the inspectors will be wearing, and what sort of epitephs, restraints, and other forms of cruel impetus they may use to enforce their punishment [:-]



Well, on the one hand the inspectors should be female, since women seem to have a better eye for this sort of thing, but on the other hand, this might well lead to deliberate violations I'm thinking?

So, how about a nice lady to come and check, then a couple of guys to ensure reparation for any violations?

E


*grumble* Everywhere you look, gender discrimination! No justice!

Technical question- how would this be enforced on a corporation?
(i work for a small office of a large corporation. We moved in early May to a new office space, at which point it was me and one other guy. Mid-October we took on another employee, who happened to be female. We looked at each other and said "Damn, I guess that means we'll have to clean the john now" [:@] Luckily i won the coin toss.)

Can't believe i forgot this one- arson is legal in the case of any store that displays Christmas decorations prior to Halloween, and Salvation Army or other bell-ringers may legally be sodomised with their bells and stuffed into their big kettles, provided that the resulting display elicits at least five dollars in donations from other onlookers. Ho. Ho. Ho.

...dave



tbearinspokane -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (12/7/2006 9:07:42 AM)

My Law: guys shall not wear their jeans/pants/sweats/whatever so low on their waists that most of their underwear can be seen.  Being an equal opportunity guy, this ladies  shall NOT EVER have a law like this.

Penalty:any guy caught breaking this law shall receive wedgies from all persons they come in contact with.



pahunkboy -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (12/7/2006 11:20:11 AM)

tv networks should be held to 12 minutes of commericals an hour. like ti was in the 70s



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