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more attention - 11/16/2006 4:56:15 PM   
sexysweetslave


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		My Master and I just stopped working together this week (he switched jobs). Since then, he is not giving me the attention I need. I know he's busy, but I want to be bad to get the attention, which I need lots of. Any suggestions?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 5:04:41 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Do not be bad. Acting out to get attention is something you are supposed to stop during your toddler years. Trust me, making his life more difficult is not going to get you the affection you want.

Instead, talk to him. Explain that you feel you are being ignored. Ask if is possible for him set aside an hour or half hour every day for just you and him. Perhaps play a game of checkers or a short scene before bed. Take showers together and wash each other. There are plenty of ways to sneak in quick quality time without acting up for you attention. If he can't give you time during the week, perhaps you can turn Saterday into a date night. Go out and have fun or stay home and have more fun!

(in reply to sexysweetslave)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 5:07:21 PM   
sexysweetslave


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Well, he's married, so...I guess that makes it even harder for him. Everything is just harder this week. I feel like he's not being very considerate and he doesn't care.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 5:07:41 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, zip your pussy up for a little.    Men process stress differently than women and if he is switching jobs he is stressed out in ways you can't get.  Be there and be the one that takes it off.  Do anything that is not pressure.  Insure a happy home.  When he wakes up (and that is what it is and that is what he will do).  He will be concentrating attention on you like you have never seen before.

It is all good.

added:  Oh, God take me now, I shoulda went with the funny answer



< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/16/2006 5:09:10 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to sexysweetslave)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 5:20:47 PM   
jezzabelle


Posts: 391
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Southeastern, MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysweetslave

Well, he's married, so...I guess that makes it even harder for him. Everything is just harder this week. I feel like he's not being very considerate and he doesn't care.


Not to be rude, but you're being rather selfish thinking that he isn't being considerate and doesn't care.  You're being inconsiderate by not understanding that he's going through an adjustment as well as you by switching jobs.  Give him some time to adjust to his new work environment, be understanding.  Being bad and whining about his not having time for you is just going to add to his stress and make him want to spend even less time with you.  As his sub, you're there to make his life easier and lessen the stress, not make it worse.  Instead of being bad, why don't you talk to him, tell him you miss him and that you hope things are going well in his new job.

(in reply to sexysweetslave)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 5:26:16 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Yeah, zip your pussy up for a little.    Men process stress differently than women and if he is switching jobs he is stressed out in ways you can't get.  Be there and be the one that takes it off.  Do anything that is not pressure.  Insure a happy home.  When he wakes up (and that is what it is and that is what he will do).  He will be concentrating attention on you like you have never seen before.

It is all good.

added:  Oh, God take me now, I shoulda went with the funny answer




I really wish you had..........


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 5:39:44 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline
quote:

Well, he's married, so


I will restrain myself, I will restrain myself....(lucky I'm into bondage hey)

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 5:46:25 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Grow up.  That should help.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sexysweetslave)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 5:48:56 PM   
Guest
 Please do not create two topics the same in different sections. I'm feeling kind, here is a copy of the posts from other section which was deleted.

Mod15
sexysweetslave -> RE: more attention (11/16/2006 5:19:13 PM)

It's the worst, isn't it

Arpig -> RE: more attention (11/16/2006 5:26:58 PM)
You aren't going to like my suggestion at all, but what the hell, here goes...grow up. He doesn't have time to pay as much attention to you as you would like? Oh well, deal with it. When he has time, he'll pay more attention to you, until then why not try being helpful and useful rather than causing trouble to get his attention. That is the sort of thing my kids did in pre-school.

sexysweetslave -> RE: more attention (11/16/2006 5:29:50 PM)

How can I be helpful and useful when I barely talk to him anymore


LaTigresse -> RE: more attention (11/16/2006 5:31:02 PM)

posting the same question in two different threads is considered bad form old chap

Arpig -> RE: more attention (11/16/2006 5:37:23 PM)
By not being bad maybe?
Try having his meals ready when he gets in, be supportive and  pleasant to be around. Make food he likes, make sure his clothes are clean and ready for him in the morning. you know all the old-fashioned "good wife" things. When he comes home, don't try get his attention by acting out, bring him whatever he likes to drink to wind down, give him a kiss and ask if he's ready to eat now, or would he like a few minutes to decompress first.
When its bath or shower time, get in with him and wash him. Give him a back rub or a foot massage.
Don't be a pain, rather make the little time he does get to spend with you so precious that he will be doing his damndest to get as much time with you as he can.
jezzabelle -> RE: more attention (11/16/2006 5:39:28 PM)
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
Try having his meals ready when he gets in, be supportive and  pleasant to be around. Make food he likes, make sure his clothes are clean and ready for him in the morning. you know all the old-fashioned "good wife" things. When he comes home, don't try get his attention by acting out, bring him whatever he likes to drink to wind down, give him a kiss and ask if he's ready to eat now, or would he like a few minutes to decompress first.
When its bath or shower time, get in with him and wash him. Give him a back rub or a foot massage.
Don't be a pain, rather make the little time he does get to spend with you so precious that he will be doing his damndest to get as much time with you as he can.
She neglected to mention in this thread (since she mentioned it in submissive thread where she asked the same question) that her Master is married, so she can't do any of those things with him.


< Message edited by Moderator15 -- 11/16/2006 5:54:38 PM >

(in reply to sexysweetslave)
  Post #: 9
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 6:04:18 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Has he CHANGED the level of attention, or were you expecting something to change with the free time now and it hasn't?  Did he promise you time and failed to uphold that commitment?

If he hasn't changed the level of attention or failed in his commitments, the onus really is completely on you here and your own needs changing.  YOu can communicate this to him, give him specific examples like "I'd really love a lunch date some day this week" rather than a vague and futile "I want more attention."

If he HAS changed his level of attention, that's an issue in itself.  The answer remains, of course, communicating to him your concerns openly and honestly and allowing him to give you what he feels.

And if the situation is just that you're his lady on the side affair, you really just have to lie in the bed you made for yourself.  You settled for an affair.  There's a reason people advise against it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 6:10:55 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		I am going to assume that you entered into a consensual relationship with a married man, knowing full well that he was married. Unless his spouse knows he is in the lifestyle or they have an arrangment of other sorts then I would also assume that you also knew the time he could devote to your " relationship" would be limited. Though because the two of your worked together that allowed for more interactions between you.
 
If I am wrong please simply say so, however; if I am right why complain now? Yes, you are getting less attention now but in reality how much attention/time can you realisically expect from a married man. (Again unless his spouse is aware and they have a standing arrangement)
 
I beleive life is made of choices. You have made some choices that have lead you to this moment. Those are your choices. Own them. Now you are faced with more choices, perhaps hard choices but they are yours to make none the less.
 
I have two simple yet perhaps complex questions for you.
 
IF you can not communicate with the person your in a relationship with(regardless of the label they wear) is that a healthy relationship?Is that a relationship you truly want to stay in?
 
IF your needs are not being meet in any realtionship(D/s,M/s, vanilla, ect) is it truly a relationship you can thrive in? Is it one you want to stay in?IF it is perhaps you should ask yourself why.

< Message edited by nikaa -- 11/16/2006 6:15:31 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




(in reply to sexysweetslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 6:11:40 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Am I to infer that Arpig and Moderator 15 and  sexysweetslave are the triumvirate of interest?

It  keeps getting curiouser and curiouser......

Bullshit.
So, the guy is married, I didn't know I when I posted the other thread.

A slice of a cut loaf is never missed and you ain't gonna be either, OP.
You don't need advice you need a life.

outta here,
Jules Verne 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 6:21:08 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysweetslave

Well, he's married, so...I guess that makes it even harder for him. Everything is just harder this week. I feel like he's not being very considerate and he doesn't care.


Please dear God tell me his wife is aware and accepting. I hate cheaters with a passion. Polyarmory and allowing a partner to play is one thing but I feel (perhaps due to my personal experience) that women who help men cheat without their wives' consent deserve what they get.

(in reply to sexysweetslave)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 6:46:34 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysweetslave

Well, he's married, so...I guess that makes it even harder for him. Everything is just harder this week. I feel like he's not being very considerate and he doesn't care.


Uh, hello?  He has a wife, possibly children, home, and new job.  You were an at-work flirtation.  Where do you really think you fall on the totem pole of consideration?

He already quit working with you.  Do you honestly think "being bad" will bring him running back?  Do what Katy says.

P.S.  If you need lots of attention, married guys are SO not the place to get it.  Do yourself a favor (after you did what Katy said) and find someone emotionally available.  You'll thank yourself for it.

< Message edited by windchymes -- 11/16/2006 6:49:34 PM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to sexysweetslave)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 8:57:18 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		I agree GROW UP!!!!
My Master works for a friends father and sometimes needs to be away for days at a time. I hate it with a passion I miss him and last time he went away i got sick and really really needed him but I didnt for a secent complain to him... When things are hard and I know he isnt happy about beeing away why make it harder on him when he doesnt really have a choise and if he did I know he would want to be home and have time for me... what you are doing I feel would be much like emotional black mail!! You knew he was married when you got involved you knew that ment you would never come first so deal with it!! The only thing beeing bad would do would be to make things much harder on your Dom and make him not even want to deal with you. No one wants things to do with someone that makes a hard life and hard un fun desitions even harder to make aspecially when they are things that arent totaly in our controll

Magik's slave



_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 9:04:41 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Master and I have very different schedules. I work nights usually 3 , 12 hour shifts and he is a teacher with normal hours. We sometimes dont get to see each other as much as we like but that is life. I know when we do it will be quality time. Just have to get used to it and make it work. Life sucks sometimes.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to sexysweetslave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 10:55:25 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

quote:

Well, he's married, so


I will restrain myself, I will restrain myself....(lucky I'm into bondage hey)


Well I am glad I am not the only one to have noticed that comment - LOL

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 11:08:41 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I noticed... Can we turn this into a I Spy contest?

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 11:12:47 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I noticed... Can we turn this into a I Spy contest?


Actually a few did, I really need to read a whole thread before responding - LOL

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 11:17:19 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I noticed... Can we turn this into a I Spy contest?


Actually a few did, I really need to read a whole thread before responding - LOL


It's ok. But we really could turn this into an I Spy contest. Find the flaw in this relationship! *chuckles* Even if the marriage is an open one and his wife is entirely approving of this, when you are messing with a married man you have to accept that you are beta and he is probably going to be taking care of his marriage first. If this is a time of stress, he will attending to the relationship with his wife and children (if there are any) and then to her.

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)
Profile   Post #: 20
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