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ORIGINAL: bandit25

Now I know how you lost that 21 pounds...throwing the donuts at others instead of eating them yourself!  Clever man.

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ORIGINAL: medievalwench

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

While I do get the impression that you rushed into this too fast and are now having to make up for a lot of skipped steps...that's the story with almost everyone here, including me.  So while I am concerned for your own journey and where it will take you, your questions themselves have nothing wrong with them.


Thankyou. i did just jump into posting and had only read for a brief while beforehand, and i think living the lifestyle without input from anyone else, maybe my experiences have been different than for people who take an active part in their local scene. i didn't rush into BDSM itself, i had been with Master for years before W/we took things to that stage but again maybe the lack of outside knowledge is telling. This is why i consider myself 'new' to this, not based on how much experience i have with my Owner, but on general BDSM awareness.

One might ask- who upset you to the point of having to start this thread and why do you allow them to hold so much sway?

i had recieved a number of messages from a Dom which were rude and judgemental, and i have been having a bad week so it got to me more than i would usually have allowed; i couldn't talk about it properly with Master as He is very busy with work, so i did not want to lay any pressure on Him about it though i told Him. The Dom in question told me i was childish and tedious and that He found me whiney and pathetic. i deleted His mails unread after the 4th one and haven't recieved any more so i think He has shut up now.

Cheers,
wench

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ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

Dear wench...

your questions, posts, ideas, opinions, musings...  all of those things are what this site is about.  Don't get put off because there are some people who seem holier than thou or pushy or insensitive on this or any site.  Some folks don't seem to remember what it was to step out of their comfort zone in the beginning and tend to be a bit snobbish at times.  Take from these forums what you can use and is uplifting and leave the rest for the cyber dump.  As you become more and more sure of things that puzzle you now, you'll be able to be more confident in your own words and less concerned about those of others.  By the way, I think you're doing just fine and you can write to me on the flip side whenever you'd like.  I'm not an expert on anything, but I'm a good listener and I can crack a few jokes along the way.  [:)]

~ "Red"

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ORIGINAL: nikaa

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ORIGINAL: medievalwench

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

While I do get the impression that you rushed into this too fast and are now having to make up for a lot of skipped steps...that's the story with almost everyone here, including me.  So while I am concerned for your own journey and where it will take you, your questions themselves have nothing wrong with them.


Thankyou. i did just jump into posting and had only read for a brief while beforehand, and i think living the lifestyle without input from anyone else, maybe my experiences have been different than for people who take an active part in their local scene. i didn't rush into BDSM itself, i had been with Master for years before W/we took things to that stage but again maybe the lack of outside knowledge is telling. This is why i consider myself 'new' to this, not based on how much experience i have with my Owner, but on general BDSM awareness.

One might ask- who upset you to the point of having to start this thread and why do you allow them to hold so much sway?

i had recieved a number of messages from a Dom which were rude and judgemental, and i have been having a bad week so it got to me more than i would usually have allowed; i couldn't talk about it properly with Master as He is very busy with work, so i did not want to lay any pressure on Him about it though i told Him. The Dom in question told me i was childish and tedious and that He found me whiney and pathetic. i deleted His mails unread after the 4th one and haven't recieved any more so i think He has shut up now.

Cheers,
wench

medievalwench,
 
You will always encounter those who feel their way is the ONLY way.
 
A very wise friend once told me, "If you allow someone's actions and words to affect your behavior, mental state, or emotional state you are giving them power over you."
 
He then asked me who my Master was.
 
When I answered,"Phoenix."
 
He said, "So if Phoenix is your Master, then why are you giving up control to a perfect stranger?"
 
Until that moment I had not thought about my reaction to someone's post or email to me in that way.
 
So I ask you this.
 
Who is your Master?
 
Does he see your posts or you as whiney and pathetic?

My Master is MasterKernow, and He thinks my posts are fine, He actually wanted to respond to some posts on here - mine and others, but for whatever reason He can't get logged in.

 
If not should it/does it matter what a perfect stranger (regardless of what label they use) really matter? If so are not giving them control over you and your behavior over the image you have of yourself?

That is something i have struggled with for a long time, i am a sensitive sort of person and i do take things to heart, i am trying hard to toughen up in some ways.
 
Remember, we can not control how other perceive or receive our words. We can only control how we put them out there.


Good point, i will be more cautious in future, thankyou.

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ORIGINAL: medievalwench

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ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

Dear wench...

your questions, posts, ideas, opinions, musings...  all of those things are what this site is about.  Don't get put off because there are some people who seem holier than thou or pushy or insensitive on this or any site.  Some folks don't seem to remember what it was to step out of their comfort zone in the beginning and tend to be a bit snobbish at times.  Take from these forums what you can use and is uplifting and leave the rest for the cyber dump.  As you become more and more sure of things that puzzle you now, you'll be able to be more confident in your own words and less concerned about those of others.  By the way, I think you're doing just fine and you can write to me on the flip side whenever you'd like.  I'm not an expert on anything, but I'm a good listener and I can crack a few jokes along the way.  [:)]

~ "Red"

Thanks hon, i appreciate what you've said and i really like your posts,
wench