Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

why financial dommes?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> why financial dommes? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 6:27:22 AM   
mercxi


Posts: 23
Joined: 1/19/2005
Status: offline 		I can understand if you are professional dominatrix and that is your bread and butter, but if you are not a prodomme then you should not have your subs/slaves pay you. If anything you should be the one to pay to support us not vice versa. I mean pay you lots by letting our bodies undergo whatever torture u can think of. So the questions are why do subs deal wtih financial dommes and can they be trusted?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 6:46:49 AM   
MsCameron


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Groan..

You know, if there's a submissive who is willing and wants to give their money and there's a Domme/Dom willing to take it, who cares?

If it doesn't work for you, don't do it. It's that simple.

As far as the question on trust, the only trust issue for you is who YOU trust.

If you do a search on Financial Domination, I'm sure you'll find a few threads to read.

MsC

_____________________________

I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going, going...
Lateralis.Tool

(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 6:51:41 AM   
MadameBette


Posts: 62
Joined: 9/8/2004
From: Long Island, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mercxi
So the questions are why do subs deal wtih financial dommes and can they be trusted?


Financial domination is another 'kink' that some people have. They get off on having someone else have that sort of control over them.

Not everyone feels this way, nor as far as I know, do many Dommes require this of their slaves/subs. But for some it's very important.

As far as if they can be trusted, who knows? There's nobody 'regulating' this kink. "Youse pays yer money, and youse takes yer chances."

~ Bette

(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 7:03:25 AM   
mercxi


Posts: 23
Joined: 1/19/2005
Status: offline 		the only thing i dont like is more and more domme's are doing this and that is wrong, like one said she will have a session with me if i give her a gamecube, also she said she wants me to be her chauffer, now i dont mind chauffering her around and cleaning, but if i am going to do that i dont think i should have to pay for her to domme me, what do you mistresss' think?

(in reply to MadameBette)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 9:54:16 AM   
panthergoddess


Posts: 93
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: Bessemer City, NC USA
Status: offline 		mercxi.....either you want it or you don't. Some do it for free some do not.

Basically I see it like this...it's YOUR kink you are trying to have HER fulfill in some way....so if she feels the need to set up some sort of payment means, then it's her perogiative. You have the choice to comply with it or walk away from it.

considder it "tipping the waitress"....only the waitress is setting the price for her serving you what you want.

_____________________________

"No good deed goes unpunished."

(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 10:44:40 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Some pepole like it. Just like some girlfrinds or boyfrinds in vanilla relationships expect gifts. Some expect expensive gifts. That can be true for all of us. If my Dom forgets vaneltines day i be disepointed, but it is not the prince that is a matter, it is the thinking, one red rose make me extremly happy. But i am not a Dom so i can not realy say why somone would like to have controll of other pepoles money.

For some, i think it is a kind of tribute, an offering to pay for their time, some a crocs wanting your moeny, some dont want to use your money but want control over it, therby having more control over you. As for those that want tribute, many i think do not demand expensive such, a magesine, a slef made jewlery or a candy bar is enoh, it is th act, not the amont.

This like whit everything else, some like it, some do not.

(in reply to panthergoddess)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 2:58:11 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mercxi

I can understand if you are professional dominatrix and that is your bread and butter, but if you are not a prodomme then you should not have your subs/slaves pay you. If anything you should be the one to pay to support us not vice versa. I mean pay you lots by letting our bodies undergo whatever torture u can think of. So the questions are why do subs deal wtih financial dommes and can they be trusted?



Please, PLEASE, PLEASE!

Avail yourself of the search function on the upper right hand corner of your screen. I invite you to use search parameters such as "Financial Domination" "Money Dommes" "Money" "Domination/ Prostitution" and any other stereotype or label you can think of on this topic.

You'll find enough reading on this message board to keep you busy for days, possibly weeks (if you read it all).

Really, I wouldn't shit you.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 3:10:01 PM   
sinstress666


Posts: 77
Joined: 1/31/2005
Status: offline 		The idea of a Domme paying a sub is absolute nonsense. My suggestion is open communication. Know what you are getting yourself inot before it begins. If you play with a lifestyle Mistress that does nopt want compensation, that is fabulous. As a gentlemen, bringing Her roses or a gift to show your appreciation is not required, but is a lovely gesture.
Financial Domination is another issue entirely. As noted before, it is a particular fetish.

Miss Maya Sinstress
http://www.sinstress.net

_____________________________

The High Priestess of Pain.
Professional Dominatrix residing in Chicago & taking on the world.

(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 3:16:18 PM   
NATI


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

the only thing i dont like is more and more domme's are doing this and that is wrong, like one said she will have a session with me if i give her a gamecube, also she said she wants me to be her chauffer, now i dont mind chauffering her around and cleaning, but if i am going to do that i dont think i should have to pay for her to domme me, what do you mistresss' think?


This is a kink. Like any other kink, it does yah - or it don't. If you fall into the 'thanks, but no thanks' category of sub, that's fine. No one is twisting your arm to adopt a kink that you do not have, in the same way that no one is going to try to force any other fetish on you. If they do try to "force" it, you are well within reason to state your boundaries and respectfully decline.

But I hear a categorical judgement in your post. You are saying that this 'is wrong'. I would invite you to look at it another way.

Some subs find their bliss and absolute submission when a domme places them into chastity and hold the keys. Caging their 'bad boy' is enthralling. THAT is the creme de la creme of submission for THAT sub.

Some subs find the humiliation and vulnerability of forced feminization absolutely irresistable and these subs melt when they are stuffed into frilly panties, garter, and heels. Nothing makes them feel weaker or more malleable than the feel of silk and satin on their skin.

Some subs believe that the giving of their money is the way to their surrender. Now, THINK about it. Think about it (not in terms of the 'demand') but in terms of what we are taught as a society. Money is what?

Class, anybody?

Money - is POWER.

Money is what makes the world go round and when yah got it, you are on top of the world, and when you don't 'got' it you are?

Power-less.

Does it make more sense when it is put in these terms?

I think it does. I think it makes a whole lot of sense and in understanding men and women who feel this need. But keep in mind that when you are judging the dominants who are exerting this control, you are also judging your brothers and sisters (because there are fem subs who do this) who are surrendering it.


(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 3:50:54 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		actualy i dont see that paying a sub as so ridiculus. I would love the now i have payed for your time now you are mine for 5 houers senario if i was doing a singel sene or somthing like that.

(in reply to NATI)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 4:03:16 PM   
NATI


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

actualy i dont see that paying a sub as so ridiculus. I would love the now i have payed for your time now you are mine for 5 houers senario if i was doing a singel sene or somthing like that.


There are professional subs out there that do just that. Be EXTREMELY careful though doing that, if that's something you decide to think about seriously.

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 4:19:23 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mercxi

I can understand if you are professional dominatrix and that is your bread and butter, but if you are not a prodomme then you should not have your subs/slaves pay you. If anything you should be the one to pay to support us not vice versa. I mean pay you lots by letting our bodies undergo whatever torture u can think of. So the questions are why do subs deal wtih financial dommes and can they be trusted?


Ayecrumba you're like what 12?? Who had in his profile...oh yeah thought I might give this BDSM thing a go...well guess what honey if you want to run with the big dogs you can't be peeing like a puppy.

Serving a Fem Dom is NOT about you...you are about as significant to Her as a piece of dirt on Her shoe and if you're lucky enough She may just let you lick it off followed by a kick in the head for you insolence.

Pay!!?? for the privilege of torturing your body? A practised SM artist will have spent many years honing their craft, spending a small fortune on outfitting their toybox/dungeon and building a rep for themselves whether they are a professional or not. How dare you do them an injustice by saying that *they* should feel privileged beating a snivelling do me twat like yourself.

I suggest you pull your head out of your arse and do some research on just what it means to be a male submissive in a Fem Dom world before posting any more innane threads about how a Fem Dom should be treating you.

You have NO idea about BDSM and it shows. Get an education!

Jasmyn *fuming*

Attachment (1)

(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 5:06:38 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
I suggest you pull your head out of your arse and do some research on just what it means to be a male submissive in a Fem Dom world before posting any more innane threads about how a Fem Dom should be treating you.


I believe that mercxi is new - not only to this website but also to the world of D/s. Yes, he should do some reading... it will help him to avoid stepping into muck that a more circumspect person would avoid.

And yes, he is still young. This is certainly a challenge in some respects and might require a bit more patience and insight in working with him.

But I don't think that his youth is the root of the problem. As Suz has pointed out this topic is both well worn and worn thin in its appeal to many of us here. The complaint is common to all ages, and gaining a decade in life isn't necessarily going to help.

I think the real issue at hand, and I am reading between the lines so I may be wrong, is that mercxi objects to the idea of paying for D/s. He thinks it should be a mutual and even exchange of pleasure - and feels like he is being exploited when asked to pony up. (not in the good sense of the phrase)

Of course, the reasonable thing to do is to simply walk away from a situation he disagrees with. And many people have suggested just this. But I think this thread is an honest cry from his heart...voicing his frustration and outrage that his vision of an ideal world may not be real.

I think that mercxi doesn't understand the amount of work involved in being a domme. And by focusing entirely on mutual pleasure, he may be missing out on the fundamental notion of power exchange.

Running for my asbestoes thermals...

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 6:13:02 PM   
aliljaded1


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline 		its def. one of the more insane rant topics .. its a hairy one . lol

_____________________________

**The mind is its own place,and in itself can make a heaven of hell, and a hell of heaven**


(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 6:14:47 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Don't want to do it, then don't. I don't care for brown but you don't see me here damning the scat players.

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 7:16:23 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
First off, lets address the ratio issue. Many say the ratio of Domme to sub is one Domme to every 50 subs. Where I live, the ratio is more like one Domme for every 250 subs. For the most part, Domme are not chasing subs.. subs are chasing Domme. Who instigated the contact that you're complaining about? Did she contact you and ask you to sub to her? Then why should she pay you? She is happy without you. She has plenty of men willing to meet her criteria for playing with her.

Second, you seem to feel that offering her your body is significant. It is not. YOU want her to use your body. She's not all that interested in you, or she'd have dealt with you on your own merit. As it was, she was kind enough to offer you a way to make up for your shortcomings and gain some experience. As a novice submissive, you're unlikely to find someone willing to take you on and train you, especially with your current attitude.

Third. you do not need to pay anyone to sub to them. You're free to pass on anyone who wants that type of exchange. If you choose to pass on that type of relationship and can not find anyone to give you experience.. that is your problem. Someone was willing to deal with you. You found the terms of submission to her to be unacceptable. That is your right. We all have our limits.

Fourth, your thought that offering your body is offering submission is not correct. Sexuality is not always a part of submission. Submission is doing what the Domme wants of you. Just because you want it to involve your penis, doesn't mean she does... Some subs come over, clean the Domme's house, thank her for the privledge and leave. Both are happy with the arrangement. Other subs serve by providing material comforts for their Domme; some serve by making their Domme laugh, some exist for the Domme to vent her frustration upon. There is no right or wrong way to do BDSM as long as it is consensual and within the bounds of the law.

If you want to move from the realm of having submissive fantasy to being a submissive, you need to do a bit of reading and thinking. Being a sub is not always a fun or easy lifestyle. You mention 24/7 on your profile. Lets put things in perspective, shall we? Since you're in school, we'll assume you've recently (past few years) left your folks home. When you moved out, you gained all measures of new freedoms. You no longer had to account for your whereabouts. No one cared when you went to bed. If you ate or didn't eat was up to you. When you enter a relationship with any Domme, unless you make provisions to the counter, she gets all those rights over you. Are you ready for that? Are you ready for the fact that her idea of your submission might be to put a chastity device on your penis for a week at a time? Are you ready to put on womens clothes if that is her desire? Are you ready to tell her with whom you're going to the movies? Go to bed when she tells you? If you're not ready to do those things, perhaps you should rethink your desire to serve.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 7:41:45 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

the only thing i dont like is more and more domme's are doing this and that is wrong, like one said she will have a session with me if i give her a gamecube, also she said she wants me to be her chauffer, now i dont mind chauffering her around and cleaning, but if i am going to do that i dont think i should have to pay for her to domme me, what do you mistresss' think?


This whole negotiation process you are conducting on the public boards ain't exactly driving your stock up, Grasshopper ~grin~

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to mercxi)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/9/2005 11:12:18 PM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		In my none too humble opinion...

Every relationship is a business transaction, whether you're using emotions or money.

When two people adore each other they exchange emotions (and yes gifts!).

When one person goes through a drive thru for a cheeseburger one exchanges money for talents - but no emotion. They don't adore the cheeseburger. They don't do it to make the person getting the cheeseburger absolutely thrilled. It's a cut and dried business arrangement.

Consider your kink a cheeseburger and a ProDomme a chef. It's a business arrangement. Why should she pander to your whims when there are dozens of other people she could spend her time with? Well... if you're the one offering her the money to spank you, spit on you, piss on you... then you're the one she'll spend the time with.

And if you don't like a services for money arrangement go find yourself someone who only identifies as a "lifestyle Domme". Exchange emotion for emotion... exchange your submission for her affection and appreciation of your efforts.

But for the love of all that is good and sensible don't complain bitterly about how each and every ProDomme wants to rip your wallet a new one!

As for lifestyle Dommes asking for gifts or "tributes" she may be asking for any number of reasons. If you had any idea how many little wankers Dommes ran into on a day to day basis you'd try to figure out some way to weed the wankers from the winners.

Also tribute doesn't have to mean cash or gifts. Maybe she wants you to mow her lawn... change her oil in the car... paint her nails.

< Message edited by MadameDahlia -- 2/9/2005 11:17:39 PM >

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/10/2005 12:49:53 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Jasmyn no all subs like being treated like dirt. i for once are not dirt and if a Dom trated me like that they would she my backside out the door faster than they could say cake. i am a kind, interesting person and even if i am a sub, i am no ones doormat. It is just the same whit the original poster, you think he talk bullshit, then think that, writing that he is dirt, is not nesseary. i ight get my head in a hornet`s nest again, but i have come to hate open rudeness from pepole that think that being Dominants give them lisence to insult others as they pleese, it do not.

As for paied subs, and for my fasination whit a pay session. Well i only do it whit my Dom, like here is roses now show your apriciation. We do that somtimes and we like it. i know i should be careful NATI but thank you for the waring, it is considerate of you to mention it.

As for the topic. my opinion is that this like all other topics is aboute personal taste, we might find what others do, apaling, idiotic or funny, but if it makes them happy and harms none, let them and all the good to them. i must say and in this i like the Wiccan rede ending. And it harms none, do what you will.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: why financial dommes? - 2/10/2005 1:00:51 AM   
23TampaMsub


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		My question is quite similar actually. Yet, a little different. Hopefully someone will answer me. Oh yeah, and Nella you should check your spelling and grammar. Before you post. No offense. Just looking out for you.


(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> why financial dommes? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078