|
FirmhandKY -> RE: Why do I act this way.... (11/20/2006 11:29:24 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Welcome to the boards, Cherry.
Struggling is common when you have an expectation that submission comes from an outside source. You push boundaries and seize control. It's not uncommon and it's what you've been doing for your whole life so it's comfortable for you. The struggle comes about because you've become aware that seizing control and misbehaving isn't the path you want to take and you, now, have to figure out how to turn your feet in a different direction and that's something that has to come from the inside.
When you are able to let go of your long held beliefs and embrace your submission, you may, one day, get to the point where you realize that submitting where, when and how your dominant requires rather than as you believe you should, you won't act out anymore.
Everything right now is new and shiny .. its been fun to bottom and have that illicit little thrill that society frowns upon. It starts out that way for a lot of us. For the ones for whom it's a game, it stays that way. A little thrill, a little fun, a slap and giggle and then it gets boring and they move on to something else, adding the BDSM games to the resume of their life.
Others though, like you, begin to struggle because they have found their 'niche' and it bothers them when they don't fit into the mold of their own making. You are unhappy with your submission, simply because you are not submitting and you desparately want to .. so make the choice to do so, then take the actions that best fit in with your choices.
Stop and think. Slow down in movement and action. Reflect before you engage.. learn to question yourself before you give yourself the chance to regret what you've done.
If you just want to have fun, continue to do what you've been doing. Laugh a lot, wiggle a lot, cast sly glances and smiles and you can have a very full life as a bottom or bedroom submissive and that, too, can be lasting or fleeting depending on how seriously you take it. If, however, you want to learn and grow, embrace submission because you 'have' to in order to be fullfilled, then internalize and realize that you don't test your dominant when you act out.. you test yourself .. and right now, you're giving yourself a failing grade. Is that what you want?
Good luck to you,
Celeste
Celeste,
I'm absolutely appalled.
Appalled that this response has not yet been made a sticky, and part of the guidelines on how to respond directly, respectfully and honestly to people who come here, all confused, asking for advice.
Frame this sucker, people!
(sweeps arm to the front, and bows deeply)
"Bravo!"
Excellent reply, Celeste, and thank you for showing some others (not necessarily anyone in this thread) on "how to do it".
FirmKY
|
|
|
|
