Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend - 11/17/2006 3:35:25 PM

medievalwench

Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline

if you were with someone you truly loved but they didn't want to Dominate you, it held no appeal at all for them, but you felt the need, what would you do?
A friend is in this siutation with his partner and told me about it, he feels that he doesn't ant anyone but his partner but he is missing out, he actually told me that he would feel terribly guilty if he had a separate Dom, even though his partner has asked why he doesn't look for a Dom,
i'm posting for him as he doesn't have web access so i will pass on replies,
Thankyou in advance,
wench

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend - 11/17/2006 4:54:25 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

True love allows everyone to be who they are- even if that means not being with them.

Following their bliss is the only way to long term happiness and fulfillment. Would you be asking this question if he wanted her to become his slave?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to medievalwench)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend - 11/17/2006 5:02:44 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

medievalwench,

This is a hard situation to be in. My first suggest, would be for honest communication between those involved. I beleive if someone is not getting their needs meet regardless of the dynamics of a relationship(vanilla, D/s, M/s, hetero,ect) it is not a very healthy relationship.

I have known many couples where one was either Dom/me or submissive/slave while the other was not interested in the lifestyle at all. Whom have agreed that that dynamic will be gained else where. IF it is done with full knowledge and conscent of the spouse or partner all involved in my opinion there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Consider this. To deny ones submissive nature or dominate nature are they not denying themselves? IF someone denys who or what they are for a partner eventually don't they begin to resent their parnter/spouse and the relationship it's self?

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to medievalwench)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend - 11/17/2006 5:30:12 PM

medievalwench

Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline

Thankyou, that is what i thought and i tried to tell my friend this, after all, he may not lose his boyfriend, who has suggested that he try to find a Dom to fulfil those needs. i know it must be hard, i can't imagine the situation, i know that its putting more strain on them than the suggestion of finding a Dom might do.

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

(in reply to nikaa)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend - 11/17/2006 6:14:14 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: medievalwench

if you were with someone you truly loved but they didn't want to Dominate you, it held no appeal at all for them, but you felt the need, what would you do?
A friend is in this siutation with his partner and told me about it, he feels that he doesn't ant anyone but his partner but he is missing out, he actually told me that he would feel terribly guilty if he had a separate Dom, even though his partner has asked why he doesn't look for a Dom,
i'm posting for him as he doesn't have web access so i will pass on replies,
Thankyou in advance,
wench

It is going to depend on what is more importent to your friend. I will never have a 24/7 d/s relationship with the man I am with. But he loves me, respects me, we look forward to sharing the future together and he is perfectly happy to be my part-time dominant. While I want more d/s in my life, I want the non-kinky things he gives me more. Perhaps your friend feels this way too.

(in reply to medievalwench)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend - 11/17/2006 6:55:50 PM

medievalwench

Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

True love allows everyone to be who they are- even if that means not being with them.

i agree.

Following their bliss is the only way to long term happiness and fulfillment. Would you be asking this question if he wanted her to become his slave?

they're both guys, but yes, if he wanted me to ask for him then i would do so, he already knows my opinion and that of my Master, but wanted me to ask as he knew i have posted here and doesn't have the means to post for himself.

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend - 11/18/2006 5:27:07 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I believe knees2you here on the boards is living that situation right now. He has openly talked about it in the past.
Perhaps e-mail him on the other side and get his opinion. It would matter so much more than any of ours because he is living it and not pure speculation of a situation we are not in anyway.

(in reply to medievalwench)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend - 11/18/2006 8:06:07 AM

medievalwench

Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline

Thankyou sub4hire, i'll take a look and maybe contact him, Cheers :0)

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

(in reply to sub4hire)

Profile

Post #: 8