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What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 8:29:59 PM   
CJsHere2


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Okay, I figured I'd toss this comment out and see where it goes.  I'm curious to see what other Dom's think about something.  Yes, We're all unique and We have our own ideas, thoughts and ways of doing something.  Right or wrong, they are our ideas.  If we think they're right then so be it.  Anyway, I digress.  Let Me get to the point.  A personal pet peeve of Mine.  To Me, owning a girl is something wonderful, something special.  Ownership of a girl has generally been something that I find others envious of Me for.  Over the last 3 decades I've had the opportunity of owning some very wonderful girls, each of which I have always felt that others have envied or even admired Me in My choice and selection as well as their abilities to please Me.   At times I have enjoyed things such as humiliation or role play with a girl.  Now My question, what on earth would posses a girl right from square one to degrade or humilate herself in such a manner even before she has found a Dom..   In short, I sent a girl the following message...  Your opinion, was I right, or wrong in doing so,, and, why?  I'll look forward to your answers and opinions, but please, present your answer constructively.. remember, others, including Myself may learn from your response.
CJshere2

(her name isn't important, but understand it was one that was self degrading in a physical and sexual content, you know the type, something along the lines of "ugly slut whore" (no, not that name lol)

*********  actual message sent follows  *************
Only a suggestion, and I  hope you will take this with the intent that it is given, it is meant constructively....  The name the girl has chosen for herself will do nothing but attract game players and idiots that seeking nothing more than a chance at some cyber sex while the wife isn't looking. 

A true Dom, while he may enjoy humiliation, humbling or degradation of a girl would never admit to owning a slave that thought so little of herself as to claim a name such as yours.  A true Dom, while he may spend time tending to the needs of His girl, would always want to know that He has an object that is valuable, that the idea of Ownership of "that particular girl" will always be something that other Dominants would envy Him for.  For a Dominant not to think of a girl as something special, delightful to own goes against the principals of what this lifestyle is all about.  Remember, the purpose of a girl is to please her Master, to make Him proud, not to remind Him of a poor choice or to bring ridicule to Him.  As an analogy, look at it this way.  If the girl wrote a check and it bounced, doesn't that ridicule and bring shame to Him?  I know, not quite the same, but perhaps it will help the girl to understand where I'm coming from.

So, for what it is worth, I have shared these thoughts with you.  The decision of whether you keep the self demeaning name or conduct yourself in a demeaning manner is yours to make.  Please, it is not My intent to tell you what to do, I don't own or control this girl, but as a Dominant with over 3 decades of experience in this lifestyle, I offer this to you as nothing more than an opinion and a bit of advice.  Listen to it, ignore it, adhere to it or discard it, that is your choice, your decision, but it is offered with the best of intentions.

Good luck to you with your seach, I wish you all the best and eventual happiness.
as always, I remain,
CJ
http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 8:40:32 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Two words most likely to turn someone off = true Dom

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 8:41:07 PM   
MzTlaz


Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		I must admit I wonder about the same thing.  However, you can't always judge a book by it's cover and maybe the girl is actually fulfilling a kink in naming herself this way.  I'm not attracted to people who choose to degrade themselves publicly by name or by action but I have met some very intelligent, articulate and balanced people who do so and one in particular opened my eyes to why she chose to do so and her reasons were just as thought out and justified for her as mine are for me in doing what I choose to do, which is probably a full 180 from her.

I think asking the girl why she chose to name herself as she did may have been the better approach....but that's just me.

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 8:42:58 PM   
reverendtorres


Posts: 51
Joined: 10/14/2005
Status: offline 		I think it was good of you to show concern, but concern is often misplaced when dealing with someone unknown to you.  There may be a different reason for her choice of the name than you think.  It could have been humor, it could have been that she actually does enjoy humiliating herself, or it could be that she is actually the troller.

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 8:47:21 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Apologies, I'm slave and replying

Considering the internet is a medium for communication exchange, that's just what you did, so I don't see anything wrong with you communicating your thoughts to someone.

However, I think your email advice would be more effective if it was shorter., even posed as a question:

"Why did you choose that nickname?" Keeps communication open and counteracts a defensive response.

Considering this email exchange is very new, I think getting on the soap box straight up isn't really gonna work.

Also a small critique on the context of your email: "Different strokes for different folks...maybe some dom out there would love a girl who can call herself a cumslutwhore or whatever. There is no such thing as the "actions or thoughts" of a "true dom".  A true dom, realistically is just someone who dominates, in whatever style they choose. In that sense, its just being "true" to the meaning of the words to "dominate" or to be "dominant".

< Message edited by slavejali -- 11/18/2006 8:49:09 PM >

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 9:13:49 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I think you wasted your time. I suspect your note landed in her e-mail box, and she took a quick look at it and said to herself: "Well, this guy is a presumptuous ass. I wonder if he thinks he can dom me into changing my ID by sending a silly little lecture like this? Oh well, I guess he has a kink for lecturing strangers into accepting his one twue way, and now I'll delete this and see if the next note is written by the kind of true dom I'm advertising for."

Too bad she didn't reply with what she was thinking, along with the disclaimers about it being constructive criticism and all. Then you wouldn't have needed to ask us.


_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 9:21:42 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I don't think "CJ's here" anymore, well  I hope he checks the responses

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 9:23:18 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		There have been a few threads concerning screen name choices and the whys and wherefores of it..many are deeply thought out many are not...all in all what is important is the person behind the screen name...Tempting

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 9:26:08 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sure you meant well, but I'm also inclined to gag at the "true Dom" inferences.
 
Beyond that, presuming that no self-respecting submissive would choose a particular screen name, or would wish to be humiliated or degraded by someone they don't know (heck, that sounds like a fantasy for many) is about as wrong headed as lamenting why a girl would have pre-marital sex (after all, what self-respecting girl would do that with someone that isn't their husband?).
 
Seriously, this is a very narrow-minded view of things from a singular perspective that places your values and morals above someone else's, and says that they should live up to your standards rather than their own.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/18/2006 10:35:21 PM   
emdoub


Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline 		Well, I'm not a "True Dom" (actually, an amazing soy substitute), but I happen to like it when they call themselves "MW'sSlut", "PainWhoreForMW", "CuntBelongingToMW", or "DoMeQueenie".  (I know this Domme named Queenie, y'know...)

Then again, maybe she was just picking an unattractive name to weed out those who don't look further.

Next thing we'll hear, she's fallen to the depths of critiquing others' choices without understanding those choices.  <sigh>

Midnight Soyburger
The teens are driving me mad...... but it was such a short trip!


_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 4:31:16 AM   
CJsHere2


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		On the contrary slavejali, CJshere, is still here, and yes, reading the responses with interest, and an open mind,,
CJ

(in reply to emdoub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 4:51:00 AM   
loriangel


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		CJ, that's why I rant in my journal instead of the forums. She may have the name because she gets negative attention that way, for some it's better then no attention at all. Consequently she may also have more then one ID, you know the type they've been here as long as we have.
Additionally, if she already thinks/posts of herself like that it may discourage another from calling her something she feels is degrading since it's already on the table.
take care,
angel

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 4:52:14 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		oh good :) What do you think of the responses so far?

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 4:53:18 AM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		OK -
Between your capitalization of words that are not intended to be capitalized, your self adulation about longevity and self congratualtory platitudes to assure the reader that you are 'real' and as an apparent means of presenting insupportable bone-fides not in evidence or required for those who do not know you personally, and the quasi-third person speech, I had quite a difficult time gettting through the entire thing...
 
But, it appears that you are looking for approval of a communication sent to someone asking them to consider that their kink and means of communicating that kink (through the nom-de-guerre they chose and their posting) to be poor - and, that you inform her that anyone who WOULD contact her would be a poseur and not "real"... and, that she is basically humiliating herself (in a bad way) as anyone who was "true" and/or 'real' would never admit to being associated with her because of her lowly behavior







Now - stop reading this posting to you and look at it again -
 
My writing is condescending and insulting... it does *indeed* convey my opinion of your posting - but, it has no finesse of content or intent - it does not seek to communicate - only to chasatise and to fdemonstrate a superioroty of morality and behavior...
 
And, I am sure that you feel I am an intolerant (of your kink - as it is apparently self agrandizement and self adulation)  no mind, know-it-all asshole who has nothing good to say about another person -
And, therefore has nothing worthwhile and positive to communicate to another person -
And, therefore is not worthy of considering seriously.
 
So- bascially, I am trying to tell you (in my 'asshole' way) is that you are way the freak off base in both the means and way you communicated, and the content you are imparting, and that you miss the one thing we are allegedly supposed to be tolerant about - that is a person's kink.
 
You behaved like a dick and I am willing to bet that IF you did get a response, it was something to the affect of "screw you" (and, well deserved)
 
You asked - and, 'thus spaketh Tharathustra!'

Not a "real dom"<---but, then you being a "Grand Master" already know that!

~J
PS  - What are the organizations that "bestowed" the listed titles on you??

quote:

ORIGINAL: CJsHere2

Okay, I figured I'd toss this comment out and see where it goes.  I'm curious to see what other Dom's think about something.  Yes, We're all unique and We have our own ideas, thoughts and ways of doing something.  Right or wrong, they are our ideas.  If we think they're right then so be it.  Anyway, I digress.  Let Me get to the point.  A personal pet peeve of Mine.  To Me, owning a girl is something wonderful, something special.  Ownership of a girl has generally been something that I find others envious of Me for.  Over the last 3 decades I've had the opportunity of owning some very wonderful girls, each of which I have always felt that others have envied or even admired Me in My choice and selection as well as their abilities to please Me.   At times I have enjoyed things such as humiliation or role play with a girl.  Now My question, what on earth would posses a girl right from square one to degrade or humilate herself in such a manner even before she has found a Dom..   In short, I sent a girl the following message...  Your opinion, was I right, or wrong in doing so,, and, why?  I'll look forward to your answers and opinions, but please, present your answer constructively.. remember, others, including Myself may learn from your response.
CJshere2

(her name isn't important, but understand it was one that was self degrading in a physical and sexual content, you know the type, something along the lines of "ugly slut whore" (no, not that name lol)

*********  actual message sent follows  *************
Only a suggestion, and I  hope you will take this with the intent that it is given, it is meant constructively....  The name the girl has chosen for herself will do nothing but attract game players and idiots that seeking nothing more than a chance at some cyber sex while the wife isn't looking. 

A true Dom, while he may enjoy humiliation, humbling or degradation of a girl would never admit to owning a slave that thought so little of herself as to claim a name such as yours.  A true Dom, while he may spend time tending to the needs of His girl, would always want to know that He has an object that is valuable, that the idea of Ownership of "that particular girl" will always be something that other Dominants would envy Him for.  For a Dominant not to think of a girl as something special, delightful to own goes against the principals of what this lifestyle is all about.  Remember, the purpose of a girl is to please her Master, to make Him proud, not to remind Him of a poor choice or to bring ridicule to Him.  As an analogy, look at it this way.  If the girl wrote a check and it bounced, doesn't that ridicule and bring shame to Him?  I know, not quite the same, but perhaps it will help the girl to understand where I'm coming from.

So, for what it is worth, I have shared these thoughts with you.  The decision of whether you keep the self demeaning name or conduct yourself in a demeaning manner is yours to make.  Please, it is not My intent to tell you what to do, I don't own or control this girl, but as a Dominant with over 3 decades of experience in this lifestyle, I offer this to you as nothing more than an opinion and a bit of advice.  Listen to it, ignore it, adhere to it or discard it, that is your choice, your decision, but it is offered with the best of intentions.

Good luck to you with your seach, I wish you all the best and eventual happiness.
as always, I remain,
CJ
http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com


< Message edited by LordODiscipline -- 11/19/2006 4:55:20 AM >

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 5:46:39 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		Things about your (the op's) approach that turned me off: TNTC.

(PS KATY Ive got two five dollar off coupons for Mad Mex!)

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 6:00:01 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

(PS KATY Ive got two five dollar off coupons for Mad Mex!)


YAY!  I like that restaurant.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 7:04:45 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe she's finding exactly what she's looking for with the name she's chosen.

(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 7:13:24 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		just a clarification I am noting here . I believe CJ infered true Dom to be those of here who do actually live the lifestyle as opposed to the few that come to the site hoping to get thier rocks off in a quick fuck. I don't think he was disputing the "trueness" or "realness" or most of us who do in fact live this lifestyle.

BUT . CJ some people will classify themselves theway they see fit as their name expresses their inner desires or thoughts at the time ... if it attracts those unsavory kind we have to allow them to find that for themselves ... I know personally if you sent me a e-mail saying my name was going attract unwanted attention I might have responded with your right .. you wrote me
 
just a thought and opinion of mine

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 7:46:41 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I get the feeling that your OP is bullshit.  I think you have a different agenda and that you are trying to get a message or a point out to someone in particular, and you are shrouding that point in this supposed concern that you have for a complete stranger based soley on their nickname on a bdsm site.  Frankly the whole thing feels "off" to me....I mean way off.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to CJsHere2)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What's in a name,,,, - 11/19/2006 8:09:51 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Things about your (the op's) approach that turned me off: TNTC.

(PS KATY Ive got two five dollar off coupons for Mad Mex!)


Sure, invite Katy and not me.  Hmmmpppffff.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 20
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