What toys do i have? (Full Version)

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baltimoresubf -> What toys do i have? (2/9/2005 10:22:04 PM)

When a prospective Dom asks me what toys i have, i'm always kind of wondering....is it because he thinks i'm whipping myself? i'm not exactly new to this hobby, and most Doms i know have their own collections and aren't all that interested in what i want to play with. Of course, they tend to be a bit sadistic too.

Just wondering.

Also, why does the little icon over here say i'm vanilla?



TolerableCruelty -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/9/2005 10:28:39 PM)

could be one of two things that come to mind when I see that question.....
1) He is actually interested in what you enjoy, and possibly wants to see if the two of you share common interests when it come to playtime.
(although, not likely in My jaded cynical mind)

OR

2) he's not a RT dom at all, just a HNG and is wanting you to jump on the webcam and give him a free show so he can whack his weasal.
(most likely)

oh, and the little icon just means you're vanilla to posting on the message boards, girl..... if I remember right it changes after about 25 posts ? (and so on, so forth.... the more you post, the better it gets)



BeachMystress -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/9/2005 11:24:47 PM)



In this day of communicable disease, some subs choose to have their own insertables and whips/floggers. Just about every sub I have played with had at least a few of their own toys.



EasternShoreMaam -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/10/2005 7:06:58 AM)

While the HNG route is always possible....

I'm kind of a toy slut myself, so I'm always interested in what people have in their toybags, whatever their orientation. Granted...it's generally not something I discuss unless I'm face to face with someone.


~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

"SM is not a mindless or thoughtless activity. <It> is a full exploration of one's humanity: physical, mental, emotional, sexual, social, and spiritual." Jack Rinella

http://hometown.aol.com/victoriansadist/





Darthbetta -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/10/2005 12:06:40 PM)

It is good to have your own toys.

diseases, hygene, and knowing what you like and have to play with is always a bonus.

I have "my toys" that I share, but if a sub has her own toys, it makes is easier to "clean up" later.



MadameDahlia -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/10/2005 1:06:18 PM)

If I am to meet with a submissive who wants something inserted (gags, vibrators, beads, etc.) they will be required to provide these themselves. I do not purchase toys of that nature unless I've got someone specific in mind. With the rampant spread of disease I'd rather be safe than sorry.



Mercnbeth -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/10/2005 2:25:01 PM)

quote:

most Doms i know have their own collections and aren't all that interested in what i want to play with


baltimore sub f,
Most Doms do have there own collection. It's a dead 'tell' that your dealing with a 'foreployer' when a prospective dom either doesn't have toys or asks you what toys you'll be bringing to the meeting.

For example, prior to meeting me, beth met with one other perspective 'dom'. He showed up with a plastic bag from K-Mart filled with two clothes line ropes still wrapped in plastic and a bag of wooden clothespins. she said it made an interesting contrast when I showed up with my 'travel bag' complete with a nice sampling of floggers, crops, paddles, canes, leather straps, and a wide variety of other interesting items. It took about two hours to go through them all because she wanted to touch each one and have me describe in detail their use. Later she got to feel them all first hand.

I am a toy freak. I started with a leather duffel bag and now, when they aren't out and displayed, it takes a trunk. And yet at every 'bazaar' and every convention I still come home with more. Then there is always internet shopping. In fact I'm awaiting delivery now, just in time for Valentine's day, a new leather strap and a "love sling" to add to our home 'play room' dungeon.

You know how it is, boys and their toys!


quote:

Definition "Foreploy" (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.



Suleiman -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/10/2005 11:48:25 PM)

Okay, I haven't been a part of the community for a good several years now, but without some darned unusual mitigating circumstances, it seems a mite off for a top to ask what toys the sub has already. Obviously, if the discussion has already gotten to pre-scene negotiation and it's a hygene concern, that's another matter altogether, but based on the loose generalization made by the original poster, I would tend to have many doubts about such a player, especially if they've prefaced their profile or preliminary Email with something like "I have x years of experience as a dominant" (yeah, yeah, it's OT, but I'm still giggling at that thread)

Of course, it could be an innocent attempt at smalltalk, grasping at the only hobby the person knows for a fact they have in common with this other person.

By the way - a lot of the responses (mine included) seem to come at your question from the base assumption that the inquiry was made by means of some electronic means of communication. In a face-to-face situation, I'd be perfectly willing to believe the smalltalk hypothesis, especially if the question is blurted out of the blue during one of those tense drawn out pauses while both persons try to think of something else to talk about.

Any way, it's another possible facet. No doubt there are as many explanations as there are potential tops.



Darthbetta -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/11/2005 8:46:17 AM)

There is nothing wrong with Kmart rope and clothes pins.......

HOME DEPOT is your DOLLAR STORE DOM's best friend.

It isn't about the "toy's appearance.." it is about the same result and end product.

my "toy bag"... has cost me less than 30.00. Is far easier to replace those items than a single item that gets "confiscated" at the airport, or lost (aka stolen) at a big play party.



sub4hire -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/11/2005 9:51:08 AM)

quote:

Okay, I haven't been a part of the community for a good several years now, but without some darned unusual mitigating circumstances, it seems a mite off for a top to ask what toys the sub has already. Obviously, if the discussion has already gotten to pre-scene negotiation and it's a hygene concern


I totally agree with Suleiman. I would not care what the other person had. There is no sure way to know where those toys have been or what they touched. If they've even been cleaned well enough. I know very few people who know how to throughly clean a leather flogger.
Being the sub it is my responsibility to keep myself safe from disease. Why allow someone else to do that for me? Especially when they don't even usually know what they've been with?



MsCameron -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/11/2005 10:32:40 AM)

I would ask. In fact, I have asked.

Being the Toy Queen that I am, I'm interested to know if the submissive has something I don't have that maybe I'm itching to try.

I love to know what toys other people have.

Doesn't seem like a 'wannabe' question to me at all.

MsC





MizSuz -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/11/2005 5:57:10 PM)

Like many of the other posters I tend to draw lines between online communication/ telephone and face-time.

Simply put, if we're talking online or on the phone (I HATE the phone) then I don't discuss toys, technique, fetishes, style and the like until we've HAD some face-time. I'm too jaded and refuse to write erotica for free.

But face to face? Yeah I want to know. A sub having their own toys can say a lot. It can tell me they've been in the scene long enough to figure out how to acquire toys (granted that could be accomplished by the right google search - but you'd still have to root around a bit to figure out what you want to purchase). While going through your toys together the way you describe them can tell me a lot about where your triggers are, and where they aren't.

Toy box/bag/trunk/closet/warehouse tours can be a lot of fun. They can be damned hard trials that you are setting a personal goal of getting through all of; or they can be lots of laughs and giggles ("tell me which cane is thicker, this one, this one or THAT one?").

If you've been a bottom in the scene for a professed length of time, claim to enjoy play that requires toys and don't own any, I'll find myself struggling against the assumption that you think someone else should provide your kink on a platter. It may not be true, but the thought will enter my head.

But during an online only interaction? FAHGEDABOUDIT



MrThorns -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/11/2005 11:24:55 PM)

I'm a shameless toy-whore, but I may still ask a possible play partner what toys she may have available. There are a few reasons for this:

1- If I draw blood with one of my toys on someone...that toy has become a one user item. I love my toys. I would like to be able to keep them. So certain items that a future partner may like that are likely to draw blood, (spiked paddles, latigo whips, singletails with the cracker laced-in, etc) will need to have those toys available.

2- As a toy whore, I like hearing about all the evil things someone else may have in their toy bag. Gets me all goosebumply.

3-My toy bag is pretty damned heavy when fully loaded. If they have some toys that are very similiar to what I have in my arsenal...well then, I can lighten my bag a bit and use their toys for the session.

~Thorns



MizSuz -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/12/2005 7:57:12 AM)

quote:

3-My toy bag is pretty damned heavy when fully loaded. If they have some toys that are very similiar to what I have in my arsenal...well then, I can lighten my bag a bit and use their toys for the session.



MAN have you said a mouthful here. This is the biggest reason I don't take lots of toys out with me anymore. Even if given over to the keeping of a trustworthy other, the final responsibility to deal with those toys is mine. Bluntly put, it's a pain in the ass to keep up with lots of stuff in active social situations.

I've been known to just curl my singletail up and slip it in my purse. Of course, that limits my potential S&M partners to those who enjoy singletails. This, however, doesn't hurt my feelings at all. <grin>




GoddessDustyGold -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/12/2005 1:54:27 PM)

I am always interested in the toys subs/slaves may already own. It give Me an idea of their interests. But I do not discuss these things until after a r/t meeting.
On the flip side, a large percentage of the boys who write to Me ask the question about My toys almost immediately. And, most often, they are not seeking a Pro session. Guess that goes along the other common question "what will you do to me?" LOL



TolerableCruelty -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/13/2005 9:08:59 PM)

wow

My first answer made a lot more sense before she went and edited/reworded her question......


-Trav-



M0rpheus -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/21/2005 5:20:06 PM)

The toybag does not make the Dom/me. Saying that, it doesn't make the sub either.

While I am a self proclaimed "Toy Whore" I do want to know what others have. I have learned a lot from others toybags. When you travel to different areas it's interesting to see what others have found.

I too am under the impression that some subs carry their own toys for health reasons and for their own personal preferences. A freind of mine loves the electric fly swatter so she makes sure she always has one.

As to the Dom that shows up with a plastic bag of rope and clothes pins? I have done that, although with someone that knew me well before then and I was on business travel. You can be quite creative at Bad Bath and Betond, KMart, the grocery store, Dom Depot and Lowes.

Scott



baltimoresubf -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/21/2005 8:37:30 PM)

Thank you all so much for the response! Since it came up, in fact, as an online question, I suspect that the HNG theory is the most accurate. Also, on reflection, it occurs to me that one of the favorite first new moments of that first play time is going through the bag....sigh.



"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but it's always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson
RIP



Goodmix -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/22/2005 7:41:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: M0rpheus

While I am a self proclaimed "Toy Whore"





Scott,
Sir, You don't need to proclaim Yourself as a toy whore, the comunity does it for You. What You may have forgotten to mention is Your creativity; therefore the need for toys is at a minimum. (a tree, some rope & a pocket knife) <g>
:)



LordNat -> RE: What toys do i have? (2/24/2005 6:28:32 PM)

Hi all, new here,

i'm the first to admit that i'm not a very experienced dom, but i always assumed that the toys question was a good way of figuring out a subs buttons. for me i'm not looking for a 24/7 slave, but a relationship were BDSM forms an important part of sexual relations between me and my partner. i lways want to be top, but i'm not sure that makes me a full on dom, and as such i may not be bearing the correct title. basically, for me the enjoyment i get out of a session with a partner would be to restrain and then pleasure them with a mixture of painful and pleasurable devices. as my partner is no slave she would be free to purchase her own toys, and i would fully expect any possible sub to have her own toy collection. to me it is important to find out what makes a girl tick, so one of the first things i'd ask is for her to masturbate in front of me so i can see how she turns herself on, the second would be to ask her what toys she likes and how she likes them used.
only after this would i be able to perfect the art of raising her to the maximum height of painful ecstasy and hold her there for as long as possible before finally giving her permission to come.
i love toys, i love shopping for them, and its definitely something i like to do with a partner or with friends in the scene.

as for the issue of O/L or face to face, its easier to ask questions when breaking the ice online that you might not feel comfortable discussing with someone right off when you meet them early on. if you start a relationship online and then continue it for a certain period of time before progressing into meeting in the real world, its probably better to get things out in the open early on, its certainly much more exciting meeting someone in the flesh for the first time whom you know inside out in terms of their mind and their kink. it definitely eases tensions in the real world, as things have already been covered, and are therefore much easier to bring up in a real conversation.

if someone got in touch with me via my profile online and there first question was "what's in your toybox?" to be honest i'd probably blow them out of the water straight off, as i think people online need to earn the (relative) trust of others by proving there not just messing around and are genuinely interested in the thoughts, ideas and opinions of a new contact.

looking forward to reading your responses!
Nat



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