Is anal play important, and how do you manage it?

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Is anal play important, and how do you manage it? - 11/20/2006 7:25:37 AM

chastityboyinOzz

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Joined: 5/15/2005
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Sorry, one of my biggest fears about this lifestyle (besides being permenantly chastised) is anal play, and admittedly I'm curious about it, but i'm also very concious of it.

i guess my question is to the Mistresses is, have you ever been turned off by it- (the way it looks, or an accident) and how important is it for You to perform on a sub/slave? Have you encountered sub/slaves (particularly male) who are also concious/worried about it? And, although, i understand that enemas can be performed beforehand, does it clean out everything?

Sorry for the dumb crude questions, but i feel like im not the perfect asshole for this type of play.

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RE: Is anal play important, and how do you manage it? - 11/20/2006 9:10:52 AM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
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I love anal play and so does my sub male. This was a first time experience for him and he was a bit nervous but also excited about the whole idea. We started out very slowly using only My finger and lube for the first few times, then we progressed from there. As time went on his fears subsided because he knew that I was listening to him and going at a pace that was slow. Over time we began to use bigger toys and now finally a strapon.

I've never been turned off by anal play. Yes there has been the occasional time when it's gotten a bit messy, but an enema before hand usually takes care of that. I also keep plenty of towels nearby and Wet Ones for easy clean up. I would advise starting off by talking in depth with your partner, make sure that you feel comfortable with them before doing any anal play. Make sure that your interests mesh and that this person is someone you can trust to STOP if you need them too.

A good lube is very important and use lots of it. Just go slow and try to make it as sensual and enjoyable as possible. So far that has worked beautifully us and we haven't had any problems.

Good luck!
~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: Is anal play important, and how do you manage it? - 11/20/2006 10:03:02 PM

pixelslave

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Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chastityboyinOzz
Sorry, one of my biggest fears about this lifestyle (besides being permenantly chastised) is anal play, and admittedly I'm curious about it, but i'm also very concious of it.

i guess my question is to the Mistresses is, have you ever been turned off by it- (the way it looks, or an accident) and how important is it for You to perform on a sub/slave? Have you encountered sub/slaves (particularly male) who are also concious/worried about it? And, although, i understand that enemas can be performed beforehand, does it clean out everything?

Sorry for the dumb crude questions, but i feel like im not the perfect asshole for this type of play.

chastityboy,
I'm obviously not a Mistress.

But I can tell you that the more you worry and get anxious about this, the more difficult it will likely be for you. This is something that your Mistress will need to work on with you and more than anything, will need to take her time with you to help you learn to relax when she touches you in the ass.

This is not the time for her to be delivering other sensation that causes pain; pleasure yes, but certainly not pain! Instead, she needs to do anything soothing (including music, stimulating the penis, other erogenous zones, or talking, etc.) that helps you relax and to remind you of how much you trust her. Learning to press down to help open yourself to her as if you were going to have a bowel movement of your own, may help make it easier for her to begin her and your discovery. Using a depends spread on the bed beneath your bottom helps relieve any fears you may have from an accident following a cleansing enema taken before any play.

It is also helpful with a place to put the lube and any which overflows or needs to be put to the side.

You may also want to ask her for permission to begin discovery a period of on your own to help you be more comfortable when you are with her as well. In any case, I highly recommend a book titled "Anal Pleasure and Health" by James Morin PhD (still available on Amazon the last time I looked). It is a long standing reference for those in the lifestyle that you may find helpful in easing your anxieties as well as opening your mind to discovering the pleasures of anal stimulation. It includes many illustrations and exercises to help you overcome the fears that you've described and should you try them, I think you'll in fact be pleasantly surprised.

You see, there are in fact, many nerve endings in the sphincter that can bring great pleasure to a person of either sex.

So just learn to relax (breathing exercises help a great deal), and let things happen at your own pace, giving your Mistress the feedback that she needs to hear to know to slow down or back out when you need her to, and even to stop at time and perhaps continue later. This is also part of what helps build the trust you need; knowing that your Mistress will respect your limits as you progress and will be patient with you. Before long, you'll probably find that you'll actually be begging her for more!

I hope you'll find that this is helpful to you. More than anything I hope you will understand that this is a process. It will not happen overnight, unless you want to be raped by your Mistress (or that's what she wants to do to you). I sincerely hope that is not the case. If it is, and that is not what you want as a part of your play, I suggest you get out now while you can and seek help and protection from her.

This would be what I and others consider abuse. Being raped is no fun whether female or male and is not at all easy to overcome, particularly for a male (who rarely seek the help that they desperately need). I speak from experience and would not wish it upon anyone. Just because you're a sub, doesn't mean you do not have limits that should not be respected. Clearly you have an interest in anal play, but having a loving, patient, and gentle Domme to take you down that path is critical to your mental health and future enjoyment of anal play. You have a responsibility to explain this to your Domme. If she cannot respect this, then you ALWAYS have the option of heading out the door for your own safety, something that is always your first responsibility to yourself. Never give it away to someone who tells you openly they can't be trusted with your safety. Run, don't walk away! Puts soapbox away and turns rant mode off...

Best of luck to you in your journey of self-discovery in this particular area. I hope you have the right Domme to make it a pleasant and pleasurable one for the both of you.

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

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RE: Is anal play important, and how do you manage it? - 11/21/2006 7:18:44 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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Penetrating my sub/slave anally is a lot of fun for me -- no, it isn't a power thing and it isn't a feminization thing, I just like the sensations and the way it is very intimate.

However, as much as a love it I have to consider the health of my partner. If there are health reasons he can't do it (Fox discovered these but we tried to help him enjoy anal sex for a few years before a doctor told us he'd need surgery to fix some problems) then we don't do it.

If it's only emotional or mental though, some religious or homophobic hangup, well, that would be one of the criteria I'd use during training to decide whether or not the relationship would go further. If he/she is someone whom I wouldn't be having sex with but only using for non-sexual means, then it would be a factor. If I'm sexually attracted to them (and he/she to me) then it could be a huge factor.

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RE: Is anal play important, and how do you manage it? - 11/21/2006 7:27:01 AM

candycoatedtoxin

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From: Mt. Holly, New Jersey
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My ex and I had only done it a couple of times, but it was enjoyable for both. As everyone has said before, take your time. Maybe set a limit on how far your first time will go. One finger? Two? Obviously, you and your Domme need to sit down and talk. Honestly, you'll be nervous, and it'll feel a little strange. But if you trust her to be careful it'll be easier to relax.

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RE: Is anal play important, and how do you manage it? - 11/21/2006 8:22:36 AM

BossySSBBW

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Once chastityboyinOzz gets over his nerves, he will be okay. There is an initial panic that sets in when you are first confronted with the idea. Once you relax, start with small plugs or fingers, work up, the first time you really relax, start to feel it, you will want more and more.
The anus is the most sensitive part in the pubic area. Therefore, if you are tense, it is going to feel lots of pain.
But it also feels lots of ecstacy once you have gotten into things and your head is set right.
The first time you have an orgasm, you will beg for more....lol.

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RE: Is anal play important, and how do you manage it? - 11/23/2006 9:00:40 PM

chastityboyinOzz

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Thank Y/you for the responses.

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