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Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 9:05:26 AM   
PerhapsitsFate


Posts: 42
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline
I haven't been posting very much lately, but I think that something really should be addressed. I read the "Rude Submissives" thread, and all the other whining that takes place about so-called "rude submissives". I was a waitress for many years prior to finding my career path, and there is one basic premise in customer service...

"Some people are just jerks (we usually usually used a more colorful name, but i'm being nice). They don't tip, you can't make them happy... accept it and get on with your life!!"

I love reading profiles, and I spend way too much time every day doing that. I find others views fascinating, and admittably entertaining. It seems every other profile who has a journal entry is one "whining" about how people don't return emails. I get entranced, open the full profile and read on, and it's usually post after post. Generally I will just click off and move on, but it's really time someone pointed out that "whining" is not an attractive quality in anyone, especially a Dominant.

During a recent exchange with one such Dominant, I honestly felt like I was slamming my head against a wall. I'm going to make a few points, hopefully someone will agree that they are valid, and that just maybe I have a point...

1. Just because someone says they are submissive/Dominant in a personal ad, does not make that true. Anyone that has met people from the net real time, know this to be fact.

2. Just because our lifestyle is supposed to be one of respect, honesty and loyalty, does not mean that everyone upholds these values as much as you might.

3. Just because you send an email, that does not mean it merits a reply.
~ Maybe it's obvious to them that you only saw their picture and sent an email.How many times do I get emails from married men, poly houses, etc. Many of us take the time to fill out our profiles fairly extensively and specifically, why should I be required to waste my time replying to you, if you didn't even read my profile to know that we aren't suited? Maybe that would save alot of wasted time for everyone?

4. PERHAPS, just PERHAPS, this person popped into CM, read their email and had to dash off for one reason on another. I often do this if I get busy at work or home. Sometimes its been as much as days or a week or so before I can reply to an email... that doesn't make me rude, it shows I have a life. Not everyone (thankfully) has nothing else to do all day, but sit and wait with baited breath for emails from prospective partners.
But, if a fairly prompt reply isn't sent, I've received nasty emails, calling me a variety of names and questioning my sincerity, even if I had planned to write to them.

5. Some people really have trouble with rejecting anyone, maybe they are intimidated enough to figure it's better to leave well enough alone? If you polled the submissives on this board and asked them if they had even been cussed out for saying "no thank you, not interested", I bet every one of them would answer to the positive. Maybe they are a bit gunshy.

6. Maybe they aren't getting your emails? Woo hoo wonders of wonders, something electronic mess up???? NO WAY NEVER.

7. This is a personals site, not real life. "Cyber" subs/Doms could care less if you are going to spread rumors about them. Most of the whining that is involved is about unreturned emails, blocking and rejections. If you are who you say you are, then say f*ck it and move on, their loss! Stewing about people in the cyber world is silly, for they are always going to be here. We all know this.

8. Last point. Do you reply to every piece of mail you get?? Snail or email? Do you write to "Hot Kristy Opens Wide" or "Enhance your Penis"? Do you write thank you notes to Walmart or Office Depot for bringing their sales to your attention? Heck, do you even reply to every single Christmas, Birthday or Holiday card??

I guess I could go on and on about this, but I'm not. This is a lifestyle that preaches honor, respect, and loyalty... not bitching, whining and moaning. All of this has caused me to reflect on my own profile and journal entries, and I've made the decision that no more whining here, as it's very unattractive. This is a personals site, to attract others mostly, be it for a relationship, friendship or play. Dangling an old smelly sock on a fishing line over a lake probably won't catch you any fish, and being a big crybaby if you are claiming to be a Dominant won't attract the kind of submissive you are probably interested in. Personally I do desire a relationship with a Dominant eventually, I do want him to have a heart and be passionate and loving, about things that matter, but stewing about lack of response to emails is moot and frankly, just plain silly. It's a turn off for me, and I can't imagine that it isn't for others as well.

Now that I've got everyone all riled up, I'll step behind my asbestos shield and hit "OK", damning myself for all eternity!!

*big cheesy grin and curtsey*
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 9:36:44 AM   
MadameBette


Posts: 62
Joined: 9/8/2004
From: Long Island, NY
Status: offline
Bravo! well said.

(in reply to PerhapsitsFate)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 9:49:57 AM   
Moleculor


Posts: 189
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PerhapsitsFate

1. Just because someone says they are submissive/Dominant in a personal ad, does not make that true. Anyone that has met people from the net real time, know this to be fact.


And just because you decide someone isn't dominant or submissive on their profile doesn't mean they aren't. It means that they weren't "it" the right way for you. People can call themselves dominant or submissive for a many number of reasons, not all of which can be determined by an afternoon cup of coffee, or swinging-from-the-chandelier sex.

quote:

2. Just because our lifestyle is supposed to be one of respect, honesty and loyalty, does not mean that everyone upholds these values as much as you might.

*snip long list of email complaints*

I guess I could go on and on about this, but I'm not. This is a lifestyle that preaches honor, respect, and loyalty... not bitching, whining and moaning.


... Bwahaha. You actually believe that claptrap? This... this... *sigh* this "lifestyle" (I do so hate that word, as not everyone "lives" kink.) is just as much about respect, honesty, and loyalty as the rest of the world is. If you believe otherwise, you might as well believe in dragons and brave knights on white horses. This is not fantasy world, this is real life. The only honest people are the honest people. Etcetera for the other "values".

(in reply to PerhapsitsFate)
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RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 10:35:19 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

you might as well believe in dragons and brave knights on white horses


you forgot about the pink unicorns with cute little bows made out of ribbons in their manes, but besides that you've got it right.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 2/10/2005 10:36:24 AM >


_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to Moleculor)
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RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 10:38:33 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moleculor
... Bwahaha. You actually believe that claptrap? This... this... *sigh* this "lifestyle" (I do so hate that word, as not everyone "lives" kink.) is just as much about respect, honesty, and loyalty as the rest of the world is. If you believe otherwise, you might as well believe in dragons and brave knights on white horses. This is not fantasy world, this is real life. The only honest people are the honest people. Etcetera for the other "values".


Yup yup yup. What he said.

Doms, subs, slaves, Masters, players, HNGs, kinky-sexers, "twue" lifestylers...they are all just people. Some people suck. Some people are cool. Figure out which is which and hang out with the cool ones.

This is about connections, relationships, and intimacy. Everyone gets those things from different people in different ways. Some are willing to lie. Some even whine when they don't get it. Just like life, but with more leathery goodness!

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to Moleculor)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 10:41:14 AM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline
8. Last point. Do you reply to every piece of mail you get?? Snail or email? Do you write to "Hot Kristy Opens Wide" or "Enhance your Penis"? Do you write thank you notes to Walmart or Office Depot for bringing their sales to your attention? Heck, do you even reply to every single Christmas, Birthday or Holiday card??

I do.....


Just some replies are THANKS ! here is what I think about your SPAM ! www.goat.cx

It is just a common courtesy to say "THANKYOU". it is how I was brought up.


Nice post though :)

(in reply to Moleculor)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 10:48:43 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

It is just a common courtesy to say "THANKYOU". it is how I was brought up.


Darth -
Me too! Proof is today, I replied to a male sub seeking CBT from a Transgendered Mistress. Wondered which one of us he thought was the Transgendered? Just to be courteous and because I'm a nice guy, even thought I declined, I told him to slam his balls in his car door.

And Hey! I see you as more of an 'empty bucket' why no pic or even a better cartoon? Besides, someone may use the bucket for water sports.

(in reply to Darthbetta)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 11:00:14 AM   
PerhapsitsFate


Posts: 42
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline
Well I was fully aware that all replies to my posts wouldn't be positive, and I'm ok with that, I think that the core of what I wrote is ...

"GROW UP and move on".. who frigging cares if "yummy_subbie_4_69" (or whatever) didn't return your email?

People are jerks, in or out of the lifestyle or this site, why is it such a surprise to people? Please stop lumping every woman who doesn't rush to return your mail into this "rude submissives" pile.

*sidebar note*... the person who prompted this post in the first place has now removed his profile and left the site... I'm a mean lil subbie girl!

_____________________________

"Be still, sad heart and cease repining; Behind the clouds is the sun still shining; Thy fate is the common fate of all, Into each life some rain must fall, Some days must be dark and dreary."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

(in reply to Darthbetta)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 11:20:49 AM   
Moleculor


Posts: 189
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PerhapsitsFate

Well I was fully aware that all replies to my posts wouldn't be positive, and I'm ok with that, I think that the core of what I wrote is ...

"GROW UP and move on".. who frigging cares if "yummy_subbie_4_69" (or whatever) didn't return your email?

People are jerks, in or out of the lifestyle or this site, why is it such a surprise to people? Please stop lumping every woman who doesn't rush to return your mail into this "rude submissives" pile.

*sidebar note*... the person who prompted this post in the first place has now removed his profile and left the site... I'm a mean lil subbie girl!


Wait... so this whole thread was a whine about the (seemingly few) people who complain about lack of responses?

(in reply to PerhapsitsFate)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 11:29:06 AM   
PerhapsitsFate


Posts: 42
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline
Yeah probably...LOL... though I do feel cleansed now... I won't keep repeating it over and over... LOL

(in reply to Moleculor)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 7:24:34 PM   
Tangwystal


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline
Well hey, Thanks for getting it off all our chests.. ;-)

but I am curious just how many emails darthbetta gets each day. If I tried to even send smart all responses to all of the spam I get it would literally take me hours as I get over 200 a day. Then there are the ones that I want to read. There are about 100 of those.



_____________________________

non mihi, non tibi, sed nobis

Tangwystal

(in reply to PerhapsitsFate)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/10/2005 7:37:40 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
Like I said before to the whinners,

Save the Drama for your MAMA!

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to PerhapsitsFate)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/11/2005 12:10:13 AM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moleculor
... Bwahaha. You actually believe that claptrap? This... this... *sigh* this "lifestyle" (I do so hate that word, as not everyone "lives" kink.) is just as much about respect, honesty, and loyalty as the rest of the world is. If you believe otherwise, you might as well believe in dragons and brave knights on white horses. This is not fantasy world, this is real life. The only honest people are the honest people. Etcetera for the other "values".


::claps hands for dying fairy:: Aunite Em, Auntie Em, I DO believe, I really DO!

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Moleculor)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/11/2005 6:09:01 AM   
Moleculor


Posts: 189
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

::claps hands for dying fairy:: Aunite Em, Auntie Em, I DO believe, I really DO!


*snerk* Good thing it's water I'm drinking.

(in reply to Suleiman)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/27/2005 7:23:10 AM   
webeeknky


Posts: 43
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline
All I can say is AMEN! We all know that life is short and we need to make the best of it,but then again, we ALSO know that both males and females exist in this life that are deserving of a ceremonial necktie...covering the circumscision scars and making them easier to identify at a collared swarre...Spanks,Neesa-jo

_____________________________

If given the chance,I BET YOU WOULD! (no whiners!)

(in reply to PerhapsitsFate)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/27/2005 1:02:28 PM   
Sissyslave71


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline
My 2 cents...



I respond to every message I recieve if the person seems sincere and not a troll or someone just out for money or sex.

(in reply to webeeknky)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Posts big "NO WHINING ZONE" sign - 2/27/2005 1:04:27 PM   
Sissyslave71


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Just to be courteous and because I'm a nice guy, even thought I declined, I told him to slam his balls in his car door.



ROFMAO!!!!


Man...now THAT was funny!



(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 17
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