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A Humbling Experience - 11/21/2006 7:56:51 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Hello all,

This isn't really a post with a question, but I recently had an experience that I thought might be worth sharing. Some of you know that I've been active in the national community for about four years. I've made the rounds to most of the Ms based conferences and whatnot...so I've gathered pins and memories for my vest.

Hmmm...wait...let me back up even more....

When I first entered the scene in 2001, I remember asking a friend, who was then a stranger, why some people wore black leather vests and some didn't. He said that it was common for Masters to wear a Master's vest, which had roots stemming from "bar vests". When I identified as a Master rather than a Mistress in early 2005, I debated long and hard about getting a vest. In a lot of ways, I wanted to be given the vest; to be recognized by others that I was worthy of such (earning your leather, so to speak). In the end, I realized that for me (and me only), what I personally needed was my own approval first. So, I purchased a vest.

I started adding run pins and whatnot to the vest, spanning three years or so. Things like pins from TiL, SWLC, the Ms conference, a patch that matches my fire kitty tat and the first cracker from my first singletail (I received the first three stripes of the whip with that cracker from someone I truly admire). Lots and lots of memories. When I was packing the week before last for my latest trip to Butchmanns out west, I realized I had lost my vest. Yes, LOST it. I immediately knew that I had left it at a hotel about THREE WEEKS before. Of course, I called the hotel. It was very early on Friday morning before I had to fly out to the event. They said they'd call me if they found it.

On my way out there, I really thought about the vest and how sad I was that it was gone. I started looking at WHY I was sad about it...and ultimately realized that it wasn't about the memories...it was about the status. I had been wearing it as a status symbol; it showed my experience and the big events I'd attended and such. I hated realizing that. I even talked about it at Butchmanns...about the lesson I'd learned from loosing the vest and about how painful it was to have to admit it to myself. I mourned the loss.

Sometimes, though, the Universe is kind when we learn lessons. Wed. morning, the hotel called. They'd found the vest as well as the shirt that was with it and the garment bag both were in. A friend picked it up and I got it back tonight (Tue). I will wear it with a different heart.

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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