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First time submissive feelings.. - 11/21/2006 10:56:37 PM

taziesubguy

Posts: 112
Joined: 7/9/2004
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When was it you first realised you are a sub....it could be way back and most people might not remember it but still we all have a vague idea how it all started..here are few more ques. to think about--
1.Was is a domme/dom who initiated these feelings in you..
2.Was it some act of fiction.. say a movie or a song ..or
3.Was it a real life event which brought out those latent feelings in you..
well it will be interesting to hear how it all started

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/21/2006 11:04:52 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: taziesubguy

When was it you first realised you are a sub....it could be way back and most people might not remember it but still we all have a vague idea how it all started..here are few more ques. to think about--
1.Was is a domme/dom who initiated these feelings in you..
2.Was it some act of fiction.. say a movie or a song ..or
3.Was it a real life event which brought out those latent feelings in you..
well it will be interesting to hear how it all started

I had never really thought about it but I always wanted a man to be the aggressor when it came to relationships and sex. I would read romance novels in middle and high school (mock me not!) and think about how I wished someone would just grab me and force me into a heated kiss. I didn't make the connection until I started actually having sex. My first partner was a dominant and I think that is part of why I was drawn to him. He wasn't a good partner at all and though I had always joked about BDSM I didn't know much about it. He did and I wanted information. It wasn't until a few years later, at Purgatory in Charlotte, that I really realized what I was. I loved being flogged, spanked, bound... everything. Since then I have slowly been realizing the things that I enjoy in the bedroom and lately I've been realizing the things I do naturally that can be considered service outside of the bedroom. I always make sure my dominant's favorite treat is in my house when he visits and whenever he is really stressed I do something small and silly that makes him happy, like buying him a cap gun during finals. He loved that.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 12:40:36 AM

leatherzack

Posts: 59
Joined: 7/13/2005
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i don't remember a special event that made me realize it.

As far as i remember, i've been fetishist nd had fantasies about bondage.
When i discovered bdsm, i was not knowing my "role", i first thought i could be a switch but then, slowly, i discovered my submissive side.
At first my submissiveness was related to sex, but for a year, i discovered the pleasure to serve in everyday life. It is still an ongoing process !!!

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 2:36:29 AM

SamKeithsslave

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: taziesubguy

When was it you first realised you are a sub....it could be way back and most people might not remember it but still we all have a vague idea how it all started..here are few more ques. to think about--
1.Was is a domme/dom who initiated these feelings in you..
2.Was it some act of fiction.. say a movie or a song ..or
3.Was it a real life event which brought out those latent feelings in you..
well it will be interesting to hear how it all started

My earliest recollection would have been when I was about 7 or 8 years of age. At that time there were a lot of "arabian night" type movies, you know the type, Sinbad, Aladin etc. This is when I first noted the "slave woman". Now although I was obviously unable to articluate at the time what it was that drew me to these characters I now know that their very submissiveness and the way their Masters grabbed them and ordered them attracted me to that ideal. As I matured the idea of being ordered to perform sexually intrigued and excited me.
This next bit will sound totally bizarre, but its the best I can do by way of explanation. Because I was severly and continually sexually, physically and mentally abused as a child my freedom of choice was taken from me, I was always forced to submit, but far from that making me never want to submit again, it had the opposite affect. I found that by freely submitting I actually regained any freedom I had previously lost and I obtained a whole new freedom I never thought possible.

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 6:16:44 AM

IvyP

Posts: 43
Joined: 10/28/2006
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i am born to serve, but choose to repress it for way to many years, after my "eyes wide open" i started reflecting on my past, and i found my 'sub/slave' traits have always been there.it had taken a torred affair to rekindle this inside of me...now i have all the missing puzzle pieces that i never found before....:).it has only been 2months now, and i am loving every minute of it.....

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 6:30:18 AM

CrazyC

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Joined: 9/28/2006
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I have always given way too much of myself in my relationships to men, and always ended up hurt or abused. I assumed it was me. It didn't help that my vanilla friends would sit there telling me that i just didn't have enough self esteem, and that if a believed in myself it wouldn't effect me like this. I think the only time i didn't hear that was from friends who were in the BDSM life. They instead became very protective of who i saw, but never talked to me about the life since i wasnt ready at the time.

Then i met a guy who we just clicked. He then left for South Carolina and some girl. What i didn't know was he was getting trained to be a Dom, and after she broke his trust he left her. We made contact again, and since i am going through some major life changes...he wanted me to move where he lived. We were just going to see where things went. He asked me to check out castle realm.com to see what i learned there, and after reading something Jade wrote about submittion i realized i found another person like me. When we later talked about it, he told me he already knew i was submissive.

I never did go to SC, because right when i was ready to pack he got scared. He thought it was selfish of himself to ask for me to come all the way there. This brought me to searching for friends who understood this life, and well brought me right here to CM. :D

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 7:14:20 AM

littleone35

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I have always been submissive even as a child i have always put others needs before mine. As i got old i too read romane books like Aquatic sub and the thought o a strong man dominating me over i found very exciting. I still did not have a name for my feelings until i found my late mentor he was a friend who saw these feelings and since he was a Dom he knew them for what they were and mentored me. So no one really bought\them out in me but it took my mentor to help me disover what those feelings i have always felt meant what they were.

Matt's littleone

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 7:48:58 AM

darksdesire

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Joined: 10/18/2006
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When i was seven, i became fascinated with a book in my mother's bookshelf, by Joyce Carol Oates: "Do With Me What You Will." It stirred my imagination in ways i couldn't quite understand, but that made me a little breathless and weak, and created vivid, although somewhat naive pictures in my head of what that might mean. i tried to read the book at the time, but the content was far too sophisticated.

i finally did read the book as a teen, and it turns out my imagination was far naughtier than the book.

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 7:59:29 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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It was actually about 8 years to this day- I was online looking for cyber sex and found myself in a bdsm chat room.

The rest is history.

I've had feelings and fantasies that I now relate to my kinky self and orientation for as long as I can remember, but didn't put a name to it or consider it something I could actually HAVE until that chat room.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 11/22/2006 8:00:34 AM >

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 9:20:50 AM

Naughtygal33

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Joined: 9/24/2006
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I had a boyfriend introduce first light, than heavier bondage when I was around 16. I then tried to incorporate it into play with future boyfriends. I was around 24 when I discovered the wonderful world of BDSM through the web and have been active as a submissive/slave since.

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 9:40:43 AM

Hisgirlforever

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Joined: 11/14/2006
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I think I have always been submissive. I remember reading The Joy of Sex when I was ten and being very excited about reading about bondage and Domination. I remember thinking of how I wanted to be taken and tied down. I also have lots of childhood memories that have become to slowly come back to me these last few months about how I used to play with my submissive side. I think I first experimented with BDSM when I was 16 and I tried to get my boyfriend to pretend that I had been in a car accident and had lost all movement in my body except my head. I waned him to "take advantage of my state" he tried but said he couldn't do it. I also tried to get him to pretend to rape me but he said it freaked him out. I guess I then started to learn that my desires were "freaky" and I tried to hide them. Slowly they have been emerging over the past 10 years I have been with my husband and now I feel as if I am starting to bloom :)

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RE: First time submissive feelings.. - 11/22/2006 9:58:28 AM

Caitriona

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Joined: 8/28/2006
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My feelings of submission were realized when I got into my first serious relationship. I wanted him to be the "leader" and authoratitive figure...it just didn't ever happen. Looking back, I can see hints of submission in many areas - especially in my choice of jobs, desire to please people (which is why I excel at my job), and how I fit into my family structure.

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