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Yet another filp side to limits - 11/21/2006 11:34:20 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		I entered into the "Flip side to limits thread" with a totally different Idea of what I would read. So instead of hijacking that thread (as it seems to be going well) I thought I would just post a new one.
Everyone talks about limits. Soft limits, hard limits etc. But do most people have a list of "must haves" for the relationship as well? or is it strictly "limited" (lol) to limits, and everything else is just there as a basic enjoyment?
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RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 2:17:22 AM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline 		Must haves for me are few but important. Any Master of mine needs the obvious - ie a strong character, but also needs to be a little cocky and a little full of himself, ie a healthy ego. He needs to have a sense of humor and know when to be yielding. He needs to be intelligent and have an ability to know what I desire at times without me having to say.
Thats not too much to ask is it? LOL

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to MistressTexas)
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RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 2:22:09 AM   
Nightguy


Posts: 55
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline 		I think a must have for me, is a partner willing to commit to something started.  One willing to give even something unpleasant or vaguely mad at least one try without dismissing it out of hand. lol


(in reply to SamKeithsslave)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 2:24:07 AM   
ScienceBoy


Posts: 114
Joined: 11/21/2006
From: Bristol, UK
Status: offline 		In a pervery context... Well, gotta like having their feet given attention, and be pretty goddamn perverted with a good imagination. That's all.

Brains and arrogance. I need somebody to put up a goddamn fight!

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 2:32:52 AM   
Lady Alaria


Posts: 160
Joined: 10/16/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm,
A sense of adventure. A passion for life. And an ability to keep me interested. I'm not going to do all the creative work.

Being able to keep up in hiking/rock climbing is a good plus.

Edited to add: oh, and being an incredible painslut is a major bonus too.
Many other things that are, individually, things I will waive. But a sub's got to have at least some, or no dice.

< Message edited by Lady Alaria -- 11/22/2006 2:35:14 AM >

(in reply to ScienceBoy)
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RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 3:04:44 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Sure do, they have to fit in my Nilla life also.  And that is where the pile of potential's disapear quickly. 

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Lady Alaria)
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RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 3:45:30 AM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		My "must have" is obedience. Immediate, without hesitation. No questions, especially why? My limits become her limits, my will becomes her will. This does NOT mean doormat as I'm not a tyrant.

_____________________________

Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to MistressTexas)
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RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 4:02:37 AM   
ScienceBoy


Posts: 114
Joined: 11/21/2006
From: Bristol, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Sure do, they have to fit in my Nilla life also.  And that is where the pile of potential's disapear quickly. 


That is a bugger isn't it?

Not that I had anything useful to add there.. but it is!

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 4:47:26 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTexas

I entered into the "Flip side to limits thread" with a totally different Idea of what I would read. So instead of hijacking that thread (as it seems to be going well) I thought I would just post a new one.
Everyone talks about limits. Soft limits, hard limits etc. But do most people have a list of "must haves" for the relationship as well? or is it strictly "limited" (lol) to limits, and everything else is just there as a basic enjoyment?

I did not have a list of must haves, though I went into the relationship knowing exactly what I wanted; Master was very clear also in stating exactly what he was looking for. Neither of us were willing to compromise on these things ; luckily, we both were very compatible in that area.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 9:23:26 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Some things mentioned are "must haves" or needs, some things mentioned are wants.

House of Fire Manual

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 9:29:41 AM   
MercilessMarcy


Posts: 80
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline 		Intelligence.  You can't fix stupid.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 9:36:27 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		RE: Limits.
 
While I will consider limits, I find I am the one who sets the limits.. not the submissive.  If they tell me they have no limits"- I'll be sure to give them some.
 
I make myself very clear at the onset and if the"limits" defined are not acceptable.  They can simply move on to the a fool that will accommodate them. 

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 9:38:34 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If they tell me they have no limits"- I'll be sure to give them some.



Sometimes, when I'm told this, I say, "Oh goody! I've always wanted to chop off a toe!" They seem to have limits after that. ;-)

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 9:40:46 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I've always had a bit of a problem with no limits.  For me, I have them and always will have them (I think anyway).  I think the best thing to do is find someone who has the same limits as you or, at least, very similar limits. 

(in reply to MrrPete)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 9:43:20 AM   
empresschaos


Posts: 84
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		Intelligence, Liberal political leanings, and a love of children, as I have two.

Also, the ability to function as an equal in appropriate situations, the ability to be an obedient sub when appropriate, and the ability to slip between the two naturally and with minimal prodding.

I think it's interesting that when submissives are uncollared and looking for certain things from a relationship--and who doesn't have at least one need in a relationship?--they are often pounced on for being demanding or topping from the bottom.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 9:43:51 AM   
MyMasterStephen


Posts: 219
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		Shallow I know, but I do have a raging fetish for heels.  So a potential sub must be able to walk - or be able to learn to walk - in 4" or maybe 5" stilettos.  I have in the past turned a potential sub down because she had arthritis in her ankles and couldn't wear heels.

Fetishes can be fun, but sometimes they can be very restrictive...

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 10:03:20 AM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Yes I do have a personal list of "must haves" and "must do's" otherwise all bets are off.  These are crossreferenced to the subs likes / dislikes / hard limits.  I feel that the sub has to know exactly what they are getting into and what to expect before even a phone call between us takes place.  I have been really shocked on CM the number of woman who are first time submisives and when I ask them what has caused them to seek out a relationship here I have a tendency to drill them with questions in fear of woman that rebounding from bad experiences and somehow thinking that D/S is simpler or posibly a better way.  For instance a potential may speak of liking spanks a little humiliation stuff like and they will really like that and then I point out that you might think I am a nice guy but then I ask can you see yourself three months from now standing in a room naked with an butt plug tail a rope attached to the top of your head and a man with a riding crop walking you around in circles hitting you in the ass because you cant raise your knees high enough or step down flat footed right or just because you looked down at the ground at the wrong time.  When I hear hesitation I pull back as far as any posibilities because I dont want a situation where I start getting involved and all of a sudden they decide they dont like it or dont want it and try to negotiate something different in order to enjoy the other aspect of the relationship and BDSM where the sub tries to mold the Master.

(in reply to MyMasterStephen)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 10:07:31 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MercilessMarcy

Intelligence.  You can't fix stupid.


GRRRR you trying to kill me. Here I am haveing some lunch befor work chilling out reading the boards nice and relaxed and then BAM you make me giggle so hard I choke on my sadwich thanks a lot!!! LOL

Oh and a must have... Cuddleing no 2 ways about it I must gets lots a cuddle time!!

Magik's cuddlebug slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to MercilessMarcy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 1:01:40 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		Must have for  me.. He's gotta be a guy and he's gotta have a sense of humor...

all else is simply chemistry..

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Yet another filp side to limits - 11/22/2006 1:33:21 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		Must haves? I've had a promising relationship end because the woman decided she absolutely could not go without watersports and I have absolutely no interest in urinating on anyone.

Personally my must haves are intelligence and attitude. I find dominating a vapid doormat to be totally unappealing.

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 20
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