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natasha66 -> Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:03:39 AM)
I was involved with a Master for a year and a half. Then suddenly, POOF, He was gone. He called on my birthday out of the blue a few weeks ago. I want to get involved with Him again, but I am scared. Any suggestions would be appreciated!!!

SapphireHouse -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:09:25 AM)
Wow! How long did He "poof" for? i can definitely understand the desire to get back with Him, but if He poofed once, what's to say that He won't again? i've been there and it hurts like hell. i'm not saying don't, but experience has taught me not to. HUGS babygirl[SirS] House of Sapphire

LaTigresse -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:15:01 AM)
I just ditched a submissive poofer after a 3rd and final poof. I am sick of the excuses, sick of pretty words, and sick of the mind fucks. If someone wants to be a part of your life, they need to be a part of your life. You are not a convenience, to be picked up and toyed with whenever in the mood. You are a human being with feelings and deserve to be treated as such. NO ONE should be treated like that, dominant or sub/slave.

mistoferin -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:15:33 AM)
A year and a half and he just disappeared? Disappeared as in you went to his home to find it completely empty and he hasn't reported for work in weeks? Did you file a missing person's report that you now have to withdraw now that you know he's alive? Or was this one of those online things?

LaTigresse -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:16:57 AM)
Oh yeahhhhhh, that would make a difference. I was thinking real life poofing. On the net its rather the norm I would assume.

bandit25 -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:18:04 AM)
Well, I wouldn't but that's just me. He prolly will disappear again....cuz I think everything is easier the second time!

slaveMastery -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:51:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: natasha66 I was involved with a Master for a year and a half. Then suddenly, POOF, He was gone. He called on my birthday out of the blue a few weeks ago. I want to get involved with Him again, but I am scared. Any suggestions would be appreciated!!! Like others have already mentioned, based on the information provided, it is hard to assess. First of all, what was the nature and level of your involvement and relationship in the first place? Online poofers are, alas, all too common. Even phone poofers are not a rare occurrence. Whereas, active physical meetings and contacts leading to a sudden poof would be much more serious. Furthermore, were there any "unusual" events or incidents that transpired before the actual poof occurred? Too little info to provide any type of reliable advice.

mnottertail -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:57:31 AM)
Perhaps he is a great bleedin' poofter!!!! Cleese

juliaoceania -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 9:01:27 AM)
I have never had someone outright poof on me, it does seem like an internet thing to be honest. If it is he probably poofed because he was going to have to take it to the next level and he is married or something, that is the way internet relationships are. I would just remember this, if he is married and using you to live some sort of fantasy life over the internet, when you start to get too close again, he will poof again, that is the way I have seen these things play out with other people anyways. It is much better to form an actual relationship in the real world where people do not fake their own deaths, disappear, you know where they live and their landline number, and as mistoferin stated, if my Daddy "poofed" I would be calling the cops to make sure aliens had not abducted him...smiles.

slaveMastery -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 9:04:44 AM)
You mean - there must be something seriously kapoof?

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 9:34:48 AM)
What are you willing to sell in order to have the relationship? Meaning, are you willing to set aside, or sell, your hurt, your self worth or your independence to begin the relationship again? Can you live with yourself with what you'd have to sell? If this really devastated you, how much are you willing to risk that it might happen again? Only you can decide. Master Fire

Siona -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 9:39:58 AM)
I've had a similar experience not too terribly long ago. I thought about the possiblity of him coming "back to life", would I resume the relationship? No, I wouldn't. Once hurt,shame on him. Twice hurt, shame on me. Cut the losses and move on. Find someone deserving of you.

empresschaos -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 9:51:23 AM)
Nope. I've had a poofer, and they never ever ever stop poofing. He left once, I was *devastated.* He came crawling back (almost literally) calling a dozen times in a day, leaving a card taped to my door at 4am, etc. I took him back. We did it a half dozen times before enough was enough. I had to move out of town to break the pattern! Ugh!

raiken -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 9:54:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I have never had someone outright poof on me, it does seem like an internet thing to be honest. If it is he probably poofed because he was going to have to take it to the next level and he is married or something, that is the way internet relationships are. I would just remember this, if he is married and using you to live some sort of fantasy life over the internet, when you start to get too close again, he will poof again, that is the way I have seen these things play out with other people anyways. When i first began to date again, i had my first online ~poofing~ experience. Intense communciations, emails, phone calls, for months, and then the day of the scheduled meet...~poof!~ gonesky... that only happened once. Come to find out he was married to a nilla with a child, and another on the way. So while i was for real, he was for fantasy. Tuff lesson. It even made me drop off line for a while to understand what i have to prepare for now. i was and still am coming out of the time warp. ~lol It is much better to form an actual relationship in the real world where people do not fake their own deaths, disappear, you know where they live and their landline number, and as mistoferin stated, if my Daddy "poofed" I would be calling the cops to make sure aliens had not abducted him...smiles. While i value my friends i have made online, i have learned not to ~overly~ invest too much of myself in online connections. just too many ways that things can make ya go ~poof~

MagiksSlave -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 9:55:15 AM)
Without more information how can anyone really help you we are all just giveing stabs in the dark here... I mean did he poof for months hours days how long, was this a real life thing or just online... if real life how often did you normaly see him... we cant tell if maybe you might be over reacting to not getting a call for a few days or if he was a jerk and dissapeared on you for a few months without worning... No one can give you any advise that will have any value if you dont give more info!! Magik's slave

raiken -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 10:03:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I have never had someone outright poof on me, it does seem like an internet thing to be honest. If it is he probably poofed because he was going to have to take it to the next level and he is married or something, that is the way internet relationships are. I would just remember this, if he is married and using you to live some sort of fantasy life over the internet, when you start to get too close again, he will poof again, that is the way I have seen these things play out with other people anyways. On further thought....there are really those married folks who seriously are looking to fill a void or need in their life in real time. While not wanting to break from or hurt their sig other in the process. In that case, a poof may happen if the sig other found out...and the poof may be very instantaneous and without warning in some cases.

LordVelvet -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 10:21:49 AM)
<smiling at raiken> I like the corrected version better <giving warm hugs>

SirDarkside357 -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 8:52:04 PM)
I'm a relitivly simple guy that seldom tries to over think things....... unless there was a very good reason, and one that could be proven, I'd say....once a poofer, always a poofer.... but if you want to run that risk, it's up to you.....just don't expect everyone to comfort you if he does it again. Be Well, Darkside

toservez -> RE: Help!!! (11/22/2006 10:04:11 PM)
Relationships of any type require equal effort and dedication from both parties no matter what type. Even without knowing the true type of the OP relationship, a year and a half and then poof sounds an awful a lot to me as an unequal relationship and if you wanted to get back involved your eyes would have to be open and buyer beware.

KatyLied -> RE: Help!!! (11/23/2006 5:55:51 AM)
quote: Then suddenly, POOF, He was gone. He called on my birthday out of the blue a few weeks ago. I want to get involved with Him again, but I am scared. Any suggestions would be appreciated!!! Just say no.

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