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Leonidas -> RE: love Him...hate Him (2/14/2005 9:00:56 AM)
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Hello submissive71,
quote:
i have been in a D/s relationship for a year now, left my life to move closer. He is married and has vanilla family. He has told me that my daughter and i are His second family, chooses to help financially (even though i do not need or wish), makes sure i am on the right track. He makes nearly all decisions for me even thought we do not live together and never will.
I assume, since you didn't say otherwise, that you knew the kind of situation that you were moving to when you moved? If so, I don't see anything wrong, per se, with how your master is handling you. It seems to me that he has taken ownership of you, and responsibility for you, in a way that suits his purposes. Your relationship sounds more master/slave than dom/sub to me, and if you accept that you are his slave, then you are his to do with more or less as he sees fit. He's within his rights to keep you as he sees fit. You are within your rights to leave. Whether he is upholding his end of the bargain with respect to his wife is between them. If he is hiding you from her, that should give you some insight into his character, but again, it's not directly your concern if you accepted that he was married when you entered the relationship.
quote:
Problem here...i have fallen in love with Him. i want to serve Him in everyway, even though he is too demanding, requesting of me things i cannot do. He sets me up for failure all the time in order to punish me.
What you're really saying here is that you want to serve him in every way that *you* desire. As his slave without limits (which it's obvious he considers you from your comment about his refusal to accept negotiations or conditions) you serve as *he* sees fit, not as *you* would like. Again, he is well within his rights to decide how and when you will serve. You are within your rights to leave his collar if you cannot serve as he desires.
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He knows i love Him, i have told Him as well as expressed in many ways. i wish to be collared, but He thinks this is silly, b/c i know that He owns me and that is good enough. i know that He loves me too, but he will not say it. its like He always has to be "in charge" of his emotions and not let his guard down.
If he doesn't wish to place a collar on you, he doesn't. Some men mark their property that way, and some don't. You have to decide for yourself whose wishes carry. If you are serving a man, it is his wishes. Accept that, and you'll be happier. If you cannot accept it, find your happiness elsewhere.
I doubt that I'm the first person to tell you this, but boys and girls are different. He very well may not have the same emotions about you that you have about him. He's not a female slave. A relationship (especially a master/slave relationship) need not be, and probably won't be, symetrical. Master and slave are complementary, not the same. For a long time, some women have asserted that a "real man" will wear a turtleneck and be "man enough" to cry, and express other emotions that she, as a female, finds to be "genuine". If he doesn't express emotions like that, he must be repressed. Hogwash. The emotional state of men and women differ. Accept that he is male, and may not have the same emotions that you do.
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He changes the subject or dismisses what i say completely. basically i am not allowed to have any say and no negotiations at all (His words). i do not wish to seek another, He is part of me, but how can i get Him to listen to me
You may be better off listening to him, than trying to get him to listen to you. Decide whether you can serve the man that he is, rather than trying to move him toward being the man that you (think) you'd like him to be. If you ever succeeded, you might not like the result.
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