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trainers - 11/25/2006 7:13:27 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		Master and i are both newbies to the lifestyle. i have had some online training, but i do not feel that it has been enough. me and Master have talked about it and He has told me that He would rather have a slave who has had some training. He does not feel that He has enough expriance to train a slave Himself. He has stated that i find a trainer and He will talk to them but there is to be no sex involved at all. i feel funny about having another train me that is not Him. my question is do i find a trainer, someone i can trustand feel comfy with? i do have friends online that are Masters and Doms but they are a bit more extrem then Master is or wants to be.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 7:18:57 AM   
maleinmaryland


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/2/2006
From: Glen Burnie, MD
Status: offline 		I think you should find a new master to train you - with or without sex.  Your current master has admitted he doesn't have the experience or skills to do a satisfactory job.  He also admits to wanting a slave with more training.  I think it's time to cut the cord and each of you find what you need.

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 7:26:47 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Rather than a trainer for you how about finding a mentor for him?  This way you can both gain experience and grow together.

K

(in reply to maleinmaryland)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 7:31:01 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		true He has admitted that He lacks the exprience which is a good thing to me because He is being upfront and honest. there are some online who do not know what the hell they are doing but will lie and say that they do, so to find one who will not lie about it is rare.

He does have a Mentor but neither one wants to admit that His best friend is also His Mentor. they are both looking at it as still a friendship.

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 7:45:41 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Why would there be anything wrong with his friend being his mentor?  At least this way he know the person is trustworthy and is not in this just to try and use you. 

K

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 7:49:34 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		i think we would both feel funny about His friend training me because they have been friend since the age of 14 and now both are in their early 30s

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 8:05:22 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Think about that,  the two of you would feel funnytwith his friend being his mentor, but would use a stranger to "train" you whose real interest is probbly in using you rather than helping.  Do we see the flaws in this logic?  Why is the focus on training you?  How is training you going to help if he is still inexperinced and doesn't know what to do?  Put outside the "training" mindset he just needs a mentor to supply guidance, suggestions, possibly advice on techique.

K 

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 8:10:53 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

He would rather have a slave who has had some training.

Such a statement is so vague that it has no meaning at all. He should sit down and define exactly what training is desired and then figure out how to do it himself; the notion that there is a standardized curriculum of "training" out there that all "trainers" adhere to is a sign of complete cluelessness. Frankly, I consider it just laziness on his part that he is unwilling to do this himself.

My girl is trained -- to please me. She knows how I like her to dress (or undress), how I like my food and beverages, and when we watch college football she can speak knowledgable about thUg U and the crimiNoles (or Free Shoes U).

So tell me -- why should it make sense to your master to have me train you to do  things I like? At best , no harm is done, but there is also the potential  to train you to be annoying . . . for example, if your master is a fan of crimiNoles. So, this idea just looks like foolishness to me.


_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 8:19:50 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		It sounds to me as if he lacks confidence and he really needs to build that up if he is going to be a Master. He may wish to try being a sub himself and learn that way. If not I'd say find yourself a new Master and let this one go.

Learning online is nothing compared to real life experience. Each Mistress/Master trains a slave their way, not someone else's and your Masters way may not be the trainers way. Make sense?

Good luck to you,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 9:08:06 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Right off the bat I think this situation is silly.  If he wants a relationship and wants to learn to be a good master to you- then he should just do it.  People do that all the time.  While it can be great to go out and find friends and a social scene to learn from, no complicated trainer/mentor relationships are necessary.

The important thing here is that he wants a relationship with YOU and you want a relationship with HIM.  THis whole training thing will simply come with time and experience TOGETHER.

And how much of this is OFFLINE contact? 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 9:24:22 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Training  .... WTF is that all about, seems he doesnt know what it is HE wants or the talent to get it.


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 9:25:42 AM   
notsurebutsweet


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		i have tryed in a very respectful way to tell Him that i would rather Him train me Himself.

we talk on the phone at least 4-5 nights a week for at least 2-3 hours. we have also had a 10 hour convo one time on the phone. yes we both want a realionship with each other and that much we do know. right now we have not been real life because of the distance He  is in tn and i am in pa, but we are looking to meet in january

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 10:53:56 AM   
HollyS


Posts: 230
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notsurebutsweet

i have tryed in a very respectful way to tell Him that i would rather Him train me Himself.

we talk on the phone at least 4-5 nights a week for at least 2-3 hours. we have also had a 10 hour convo one time on the phone. yes we both want a realionship with each other and that much we do know. right now we have not been real life because of the distance He  is in tn and i am in pa, but we are looking to meet in january 


"Training" can mean different things to different people.  Has he spelled out exactly what he wants you trained in?  Your question to the group is very vague.

I disagree that only one's Master should be one's trainer:  there are many skills one can learn that would transfer to any Master.  Does he want you trained in massage? Cooking? Valet skills?  Bookkeeping? Bartending?  Obviously, many of these skills would need to be adapted specifically for your Master, but once learned they are easily transferable.  Also, learning any of these skills offers lessons in attentiveness, non-verbal communication, planning, unobtrusiveness and anticipatory service.

Does he want you to learn things like positions? Specific language?  Those things can also be taught.  I highly recommend two books that you and your Owner can use together:  Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual and Training With Miss Abernathy: A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners. Both books go together very nicely and the workbook has exercises in it that can take you through many different types of service. They may be able to guide the two of you in areas where you lack experience. 

Good luck.

~Holly



_____________________________

I wish my lawn were emo, so it would cut itself.

(in reply to notsurebutsweet)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 11:51:03 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notsurebutsweet
we talk on the phone at least 4-5 nights a week for at least 2-3 hours. we have also had a 10 hour convo one time on the phone. yes we both want a realionship with each other and that much we do know. right now we have not been real life because of the distance He  is in tn and i am in pa, but we are looking to meet in january

You haven't even met offline yet- so why on earth are you seriously discussing dragging someone else into things?  Take this one step at a time.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to notsurebutsweet)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 12:06:42 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

we have also had a 10 hour convo one time on the phone


Just thinking about that makes me tired!


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 2:25:30 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		What specifically do you need to be trained to do?

(in reply to maleinmaryland)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 2:59:07 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: notsurebutsweet
we talk on the phone at least 4-5 nights a week for at least 2-3 hours. we have also had a 10 hour convo one time on the phone. yes we both want a realionship with each other and that much we do know. right now we have not been real life because of the distance He  is in tn and i am in pa, but we are looking to meet in january

You haven't even met offline yet- so why on earth are you seriously discussing dragging someone else into things?  Take this one step at a time.
Got to agree with LA...it looks to me as if its the old cart before the horse syndrome...Tempting

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 3:07:04 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Train you to do what, exactly?  Experienced or not, no-one but him can know how he likes you to dress, to address him, how he likes his dick sucked blah blah.  And never mind the zillion other protocols that one Master may demand of his slave and another not require at all....
 
I'll go out on a limb and presume he wants this (to be your Master) as much as you but I'm often left with a gut feeling that those who don't even have the faintest clue how to dominate their sub away from intimate play are just getting into it to make the woman they love happy.
 
Or maybe he's just a little intimidated at meauring up to other experienced Masters?  In which case, I'd simply say that they've got buggar-all to do with *your* personal relationship!  I admire his honesty about his lack of experience; he now needs to learn to be comfortable with himself and the role he's taking on....
 
Frankly, training a new sub in my life is one of the most enjoyable activities there is and I'd sure as hell never want to lose a second of it to some other stiff who presumes to be one of those laughable lifestyle "trainers of submissives".  A sub/slave with a lifetime of experience still won't know how to specifically please me and I'm gonna take my time teaching her.  Sure, her experience means she'll learn faster than a first day newbie but, to be honest, that's exactly why I'd prefer the latter.
 
Focus.

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 3:10:18 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Someone cue up the Heartbreak Hotel cd with Elvis' Holiday Special with Don Ho, and the host of heaven tabernacle choir--- I have a vision comin' on....................................


Edgar Cayce


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: trainers - 11/25/2006 3:24:44 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: notsurebutsweet
we talk on the phone at least 4-5 nights a week for at least 2-3 hours. we have also had a 10 hour convo one time on the phone. yes we both want a realionship with each other and that much we do know. right now we have not been real life because of the distance He  is in tn and i am in pa, but we are looking to meet in january

You haven't even met offline yet- so why on earth are you seriously discussing dragging someone else into things?  Take this one step at a time.

Whoa, hold the phone!  notsurebutsweet is the OP - sweetnsoftinpa? 
 
And this whole thread and the anxieties stemming from it are from a couple who haven't actually even met r/l?
 
I am impressed with a *10 hour* phone call, however!  lol  My record is almost 4 - and she lived 15 mins drive from me!  Gotta love those lazy Sunday evenings....
 
Btw, this being an *international* board and all (and my being an ignorant Aussie), what does this mean?  "He is in tn and i am in pa"
 
Focus.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
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