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Mercnbeth -> RE: Getting "Over" Submission (11/30/2006 11:36:54 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie
...Mercnbeth - I had to read your post 3 times, because at first I couldn't see how what you were telling me had anything to do with the situation I'm in, but I *think* now I've caught on, finally lol To try and ignore the fact that I don't just want to submit, but do so be default in a relationship won't work and what I may need to do is 'overcome' the hope for my relationship to work in a vanilla dynamic rather than trying to overcome my submissiveness. If I'm wrong, then I'm hoping it can be attributed to sleep and I will reread the post until I finally get it right lol ...
there have been several threads here about "inspiring Dominance" in a partner, or how to get one's submissive needs met when one feels they aren't...if that is what you are after, others might be better able to help you in that regard as this slave hasn't had that issue with Master, personally.
on the other hand, a small book could be compiled on this slave's dealings with vanillas. this slave tired of the frustration, confusion and even allowed abuse from sadistic-minded "dominant-veneer" vanilla men who had no context for their sadism, no sadistic or dominant sexual arousal that didn't also come with a heavy dose of guilt and shame that society and their upbringing taught them. they also thought that the woman who enjoyed humiliation or pain in a sexual way, must be sick and they were very uncomfortable with having a vanilla relationship with such a woman.
the way this slave sees it, there are the "that's sick" and "this isn't right" people who's stomachs and minds heave when they even think about just about everything that gets discussed here on this board of a BDSM, D/s and M/s nature. that's their way, their path, and more power to them...those are the ones this slave refers to as "vanillas", and although, through love or some other miracle one might convince one of these vanillas that it's not so bad, on a basic level, they just aren't into it. they might do it to appease you, might tolerate you engaging with another to get your needs met on that level and maintain the relationship with you, heck, some might even learn to enjoy it![:)]
then comes the jump quite a few vanillas make from "that's sick"...to "you're sick, you need help, therapy and pharmaceutical intervention so that you can enjoy vanilla sex and a societally accepted relationship dynamic, here take this pill, the Dr. will see you at your next regularly scheduled visit for the rest of your life[:'(] OR..... as long as you are only doing it on the weekends in the privacy of your locked room, and by GOD, don't refer to yourself as a slave, welllllllllllllll, then it's ok."
personally, this slave decided to embrace her nature and her nurture, ignore the psycho-babble and look for service everywhere---hence the reference in the previous post to the imposed solitude from intimate personal relationships. this slave served everyone and every organization that crossed her path during those three years and yet called no-one Master or even significant other, and it was extremely fulfilling.
stumbling across this "lifestyle" was a personal blessing. it finally allowed for this slave's sexual proclivities to be accepted and also expanded her into a circle of contact with people who had like minded ideas about intimate personal relationship dynamics that this slave had always sought acceptance of as well.
this slave was not looking for a Master---not looking to be referred to as slave or end the use of I, me, my and mine from her vocabulary. just giving the idea of intimate personal relationship another look, with the hard limit being--CAN'T DO VANILLA--and followed her path to where she is now.
best of luck to you!
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