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If you heard someone fart... - 11/28/2006 5:55:30 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		You'd say?

(I actually have an answer...one that was told to me tonight, that I refuse {unless of course, an appropriate number of people beg for} to tell you...but trust me...it was damn fucking funny.

However, since I can't currently give you that one, I'll tell you one I used when my (ex) Mother in Law (the singularly most straight laced woman I've ever met in my life) was visiting...and she let one fly, on accident.  She was almost 60 at the time, she coughed somewhat loudly, and let out a complementary "Poot".

She was instantly red.

She was about 9 feet away, my (ex) wife was 11 feet below us, our place had an open loft down towards the living room/kitchen, and I said "Honey.....

...we need to call the exterminator" (she was always such an easy mark) and she said "Why baby?

I then said, "there's something wrong with the couch your Mother's on...I think we have some more of those barking spiders again".

Needless to say, "Mom" was a little distant that night.

(Now that I think about it...I didn't get any pussy that night either).

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 11/28/2006 5:57:01 PM >

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/28/2006 8:23:57 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

You'd say?



Depends on who and where. My ex-mother-in-law is a great one for farting when she coughs or laughs, so most of us avoid her like the plague when she is sick - lol.
I was once at a tupperware party and the presenter farted during her talk, we all just looked at each other in amazement not knowing what to do or say - me being the person I am burst into laughter and almost wet myself (well i was pregnant at the time).

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/28/2006 8:40:16 PM   
RibbonsAndCurls


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/10/2006
Status: offline 		...I would have laughed.. but that's just because I'm not as "lady like" as Daddy would like. hehehe

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/28/2006 8:43:59 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		We instituted a code to call in my store if there was an aisle to avoid becasue a customer had made it uninhabitable (or a manager... they do that too).
Its hard to keep a striaght face when we call a Code 11 to the office minutes after the District Manager walks out... she tries so hard to be ladylike and dainty... but DAYUM

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/28/2006 9:08:47 PM   
Killbotsgirl


Posts: 95
Joined: 10/25/2006
Status: offline 		Master just gets one of those shocked faces after 5 minutes of smelling a sbd and He would just say "i think something just died" and we both would burst out laughing especially if we are at His moms

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/28/2006 9:20:27 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Neither am I :P
quote:

ORIGINAL: RibbonsAndCurls

I'm not as "lady like" as Daddy would like. hehehe

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/28/2006 10:01:38 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		If it's family... Damn! You've got some pretty big mice running around here... or... What was THAT?!?!?!? (and look around in shock).


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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 12:28:58 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		"I can name that tune in one"
"More sprouts vicar?"
"One of Eno's I believe?" (To which the response must be made, by the farter "No, his stink worse")



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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 2:28:25 AM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		ii had a gentle man friedn would say the ducks are flying low this year.....LOL  

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 5:23:45 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		"Dammit. Not another loose floorboard"

"Gas gas gas" (WWI reference)

and my personal favourite

"Congratulations. Is it a girl or a boy?"

E

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 9:28:55 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I say absolutely nothing..and pretend it just never occurred. 

When I was young and foolish and very insensitive- I would say "Something must have crawled up in side of you and DIED!" or "Man!  Did you sell your ass to the Devil or what!?"

But now.. I just blame the "damn DOG!"

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 11/29/2006 9:57:51 AM >

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 9:56:14 AM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		When I have stayed at a Zendo, due to the effect of the mostly vegatarian diet on the gastroinstestinal tract of my fellows, farting is common, and it becomes more comical than usual in such a setting.
 
When it's exceptionaly foul, the ususal obersevation is
 
"your soul is rotting..."

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 10:48:57 AM   
RibbonsAndCurls


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

But now.. I just blame the "damn DOG!"


Oh I know! My dogs have some really bad farts.. even their burps are pretty nasty when it comes to the stench *shudders*

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 1:17:14 PM   
Majik


Posts: 358
Joined: 4/24/2005
Status: offline 		We just look at each other and inquire if they are killing frogs again.=]

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 3:45:58 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Majik

We just look at each other and inquire if they are killing frogs again.=]


This one is the best!!!

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 4:39:18 PM   
Killbotsgirl


Posts: 95
Joined: 10/25/2006
Status: offline 		i remeber one time my chihuahua let one go right infront of our beagle. the poor beagle got up and moved 5 times before she settled down next to my uncle the entire living room stunk for almost an hour before some one said something about it because we thought it was my uncle. finally all i could say was damn what ya eat?

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 7:01:21 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: Majik

We just look at each other and inquire if they are killing frogs again.=]


This one is the best!!!


(No it's not lol)

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 7:28:31 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Who let the mice have motorcycles?!?

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RE: If you heard someone fart... - 11/29/2006 7:49:10 PM   
Killbotsgirl


Posts: 95
Joined: 10/25/2006
Status: offline 		did a helicopter pass by? 

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