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RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 9:11:42 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It depends on the formality of the relationship. I usually find that verbal permission is good enough for me, but, in some instances, high protocol is important.

----time has passed----

Oddly enough, I just found a need to do written permission. This is so that my girl can participate, and teach, in a training program another Master has designed for an individual. It's an excellent arrangement and the formality is quite necessary as the individual needs a huge dose of lifestyle protocol, as we see it in our eyes.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 11/29/2006 9:58:31 AM >

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 9:17:51 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmmm...

For someone in an OL or LD relationship, unless they spoke over the phone or face to face and got permission verbally, ALL of their freaking permissions are IN WRITING.  To quote Carlos Mencia....

Dee-duh-dee!
YIK,
- Geoff

< Message edited by EvilGeoff -- 11/29/2006 9:18:04 AM >

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 10:11:44 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Talked with a submissive who said that she had written permission to talk with other peole. She says that she has written permission to do other things also. This seems extreme to me. My thought is if you have to go that far then get it over with and shoot yourself. But that is their thing then so be it. What do you think? 


To me it just seems silly.  My owner and I have talked about (and its evolved over time) what I do and don't have permission for.  But I'm a grown adult and capable of remembering what he tells me without writing it down.

But it sounds like its some kind of kink thing for her, maybe connected to the whole micromanagement kink?

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 10:27:22 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Dnomyar, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my personal experiences, when letters of reference were used, letters of introduction and or letter of consent/permission were used; it was a formality and etiquette used very naturally, as it was all in the 'pre computer' and or 'cell phone' age.  Nothing was really extreme in my mind's eyes then or now.
 
In my school days, parents had to give written permission to teachers to do this or that, such as field trips and the like.  In the law's eyes, it is technically required to have written permission to drive another person's vehicle in some states, as to prove there is no theft issue.
That said, it was a time when your word was your bond.  Some remember that and some do not.
 
There are occassions, such as an academy setting, where slaves had to have written permission from their owners to participate and restrictions were honored.
 
True, there might be times a telephone call can be just as effective as written works but, I do like the proof in my fingers that permission was given as well as the 'spirit' of that permission.  I work on boundaries and honoring another Owner/Dominant by respecting his/her boundaries--I respect them, not just the slave I have permission to deal with.
 
It is something I want to do--Respect them all.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 
 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 10:33:58 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Talked with a submissive who said that she had written permission to talk with other peole. She says that she has written permission to do other things also. This seems extreme to me. My thought is if you have to go that far then get it over with and shoot yourself. But that is their thing then so be it. What do you think? 


A lot of people use contracts and it seems to me, that's pretty much the same sort of thing. I don't think I'd advocate suicide for people who like things in writing. That does seem a bit on the extreme side to me. A submissive gets to do ABC .. if it's not written they don't do it. It's clear, concise and an easy tool of reference. Anything that helps is fine in my book. I'm a list maker so that I don't forget anything I'm supposed to do and I don't have to rely on my own memory. It really helps to be able to look at something in writing when I can't remember how to spell my name. ;)

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 11/29/2006 10:34:55 AM >

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He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 11:00:18 AM   
LW3


Posts: 59
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Talked with a submissive who said that she had written permission to talk with other peole. She says that she has written permission to do other things also. This seems extreme to me. My thought is if you have to go that far then get it over with and shoot yourself. But that is their thing then so be it. What do you think? 


A lot of people use contracts and it seems to me, that's pretty much the same sort of thing. I don't think I'd advocate suicide for people who like things in writing. That does seem a bit on the extreme side to me. A submissive gets to do ABC .. if it's not written they don't do it. It's clear, concise and an easy tool of reference. Anything that helps is fine in my book. I'm a list maker so that I don't forget anything I'm supposed to do and I don't have to rely on my own memory. It really helps to be able to look at something in writing when I can't remember how to spell my name. ;)

Celeste


are you serious?
I know of people with very bad memory but... that bad? LOL

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 11:00:46 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You LadyHugs.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 11:31:19 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LW3

are you serious?
I know of people with very bad memory but... that bad? LOL


I'm serious. If you knew my real name, you'd want it written down so you didn't forget how to spell it either! I shorten it for the web. ::chuckles::

Celeste <- that's only about half the letters that are on my birth certificate and we won't even talk about my middle name! ::laughs::

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to LW3)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 12:01:56 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Written contracts are I assume generally acceptable, and to me that is no different at all.

I have known people that love reading, even to the extent they enjoyed a list of chores for the day stuck to the fridge, they felt it helped them prioritise what was required.

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(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 1:19:14 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

But if you wished that they had written it down what difference would that have made. Would you have shown it to them and made a big deal out of it. Would you have shown it to them and discussed it. If your relationship has gone bad enought for you to part then all the writing in the world isnt going to save it. We sign a Marriage Liscense and still get divorced.


No...it would not have been for me to make the big deal out of it...I would have trusted her own inner feelings to do that for me. But one thing I have noted...as have several others on here...sometimes having things in writing makes it easier to keep some submissives and some dominants on the path that they have agreed to follow. Your mind changes, then you sit down and renegotiate and change the writing or walk away.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 2:07:40 PM   
gentlethistle


Posts: 186
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

But if you wished that they had written it down what difference would that have made. Would you have shown it to them and made a big deal out of it. Would you have shown it to them and discussed it. If your relationship has gone bad enought for you to part then all the writing in the world isnt going to save it. We sign a Marriage Liscense and still get divorced.


When I parted from my (vanilla) partner three years ago, we actually had something called a 'Contract of Living Together', which was a legal document that we'd had drawn up and signed when we bought a house together.  It was, of course, no such thing as its title implied...it was really a contract for what to do if we ever *stopped* living together....

...and, you know what, I'm proud to say that we never even bothered to get the paperwork out of the drawer and read it through when we split.  Instead, we divided up our finances and our share of the proceeds of the house sale exactly on the basis that we thought was fair.  We divided our belongings by the fuzzy process of...'Is that yours or mine?'  'Can you use that, or shall I take it?'  'I'd like that, but if you want it....' 

But I'm still glad that we had the document, even if we paid our solicitor good money to produce it and we never used it when the time came.  It was there for a situation where not only had the relationship broken down but our opinions about what was 'fair and reasonable' differed and we couldn't agree how to settle things in an amenable, adult fashion.  And, how can you predict that someone you're making a life and home with now will turn out to be someone you are un-making it with ten years later?  Or how you're both going to approach decision-making in that situation?

I guess written documents detailing eventualities or permissions are a bit like insurance schedules...you hope you're not going to have to refer to them too often, but it's sometimes comforting to have them and know that you can check the exact wording of what they contain if you choose to.

Laura

< Message edited by gentlethistle -- 11/29/2006 2:11:09 PM >

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 3:02:19 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah, I like that idea.  Since I happen to be an English major (and have a Masters in English)...I get to post all I want! 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 3:37:59 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		i dont see how some of you say tis strange... we have all talked about contracts before.. how is this differant ot a contract...it is written down

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 4:06:52 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Talked with a submissive who said that she had written permission to talk with other peole. She says that she has written permission to do other things also. This seems extreme to me. My thought is if you have to go that far then get it over with and shoot yourself. But that is their thing then so be it. What do you think? 

It's evidently pretty important to you, to bring it to the boards. May i ask why what someone else's sub/slave is told to do is of so much concern to you? Often on here we talk about judgment - yet it's not judgment that does the harm, it's condemnation.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Written Permission - 11/29/2006 4:56:01 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
A lot of people use contracts and it seems to me, that's pretty much the same sort of thing. I don't think I'd advocate suicide for people who like things in writing. That does seem a bit on the extreme side to me. A submissive gets to do ABC .. if it's not written they don't do it. It's clear, concise and an easy tool of reference. Anything that helps is fine in my book. I'm a list maker so that I don't forget anything I'm supposed to do and I don't have to rely on my own memory. It really helps to be able to look at something in writing when I can't remember how to spell my name. ;)

Celeste

i have to write lists too - lol. Neither Master nor i are real great in the remembering the details category. Just today i bought a little notebook i can carry around so when He says He wants/needs something, i don't have to ask Him again or forget myself. Now i just have to remember where i keep the notebook. lol

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 35
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