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bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 10:19:39 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		I have recently experienced something that leaves me saying hmmm  is it true??

I have been exchanging a serious of one line type of emails back and forth,  when after 4 or 5 sets of  hope your day is good i go tthe when can we get together...i never once said eqe i will not talk to you becasue you are african american, not did i say  keep your dark brown self to yourself...most of the contact was me trying to be polite and him trying to make conversation....have i been interested?  NO not from anything he wrote...which by the way was nota whole lot he had one of those 2line profiles  the subsequent emails consisted of him trying to agree with anything i said..I digress.  I receieved the following in my inbox today


WOW!!! I DID NOT THINK COLLAR ME HAD BIGGOTS!!!! DONT EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN YOU PREDIJUCE WHORE!

why is it that men can not want a woman becasue she is 350lbs.   or that she has brown hair  or doesnt do the meet me nekkid at the motel for the first time visit?

but a woman cannot say:   I hate to say this but i am ordinaarily not attracted to african american men!  by the way in the second to last email i recieved the message i really love redheads becasue their skin is sooo white?

so lets see if i read this right it is okay for him to havea physical attraction to me becasue i have such white white skin...but i am not allowed to not prefer african american men beasue of his skin color?

when did a simple preference become a reason for being called a biggot.   I actually have recently had an attraction to a man who is of jamaican descent....and there are a few people on here that are aware of it  becasue believeit or not the issue i had on that was his age (26)  not his skin color! 

so how is it that i can be nice and have back and forth intereactions with someone based upon not involvement  but as soon as i say i do not want to go further  I becsaome a bigot??

when is a preference not just a preference  but biggotry??

someone help me??

little red

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 10:42:51 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		It is a preference. I tend to be attracted to men of my own ethnic background myself. I have dated men that were of a different ethnicity because I found them attractive, but I tend to prefer white men.  I know my heart condition, and if someone wrote me that I was prejudice against them because I prefer to date men my own ethnicity, well that would be his problem... If you know who you are and how you feel I would not let this bother you.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:01:00 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

I have recently experienced something that leaves me saying hmmm  is it true??

I have been exchanging a serious of one line type of emails back and forth,  when after 4 or 5 sets of  hope your day is good i go tthe when can we get together...i never once said eqe i will not talk to you becasue you are african american, not did i say  keep your dark brown self to yourself...most of the contact was me trying to be polite and him trying to make conversation....have i been interested?  NO not from anything he wrote...which by the way was nota whole lot he had one of those 2line profiles  the subsequent emails consisted of him trying to agree with anything i said..I digress.  I receieved the following in my inbox today


WOW!!! I DID NOT THINK COLLAR ME HAD BIGGOTS!!!! DONT EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN YOU PREDIJUCE WHORE!

why is it that men can not want a woman becasue she is 350lbs.   or that she has brown hair  or doesnt do the meet me nekkid at the motel for the first time visit?

but a woman cannot say:   I hate to say this but i am ordinaarily not attracted to african american men!  by the way in the second to last email i recieved the message i really love redheads becasue their skin is sooo white?

so lets see if i read this right it is okay for him to havea physical attraction to me becasue i have such white white skin...but i am not allowed to not prefer african american men beasue of his skin color?

when did a simple preference become a reason for being called a biggot.   I actually have recently had an attraction to a man who is of jamaican descent....and there are a few people on here that are aware of it  becasue believeit or not the issue i had on that was his age (26)  not his skin color! 

so how is it that i can be nice and have back and forth intereactions with someone based upon not involvement  but as soon as i say i do not want to go further  I becsaome a bigot??

when is a preference not just a preference  but biggotry??

someone help me??

little red


Oh please Honey!  He's pissed off because you didnt want to drop to your knees and worship the email he rode in on.  So he played the race card instead of having the class to respect your preferences.

I personally like whatever man I feel chemistry with (but have preferences also) If given my ideal 'preferences', that would be for my own race (caucasion).  And I also am open to various european/mediteranean types...the fact that they grew up in different cultures makes them fascinating and very interesting to me.  I also happen to love all the various european accents.
We all have our preferences and you are entitled to yours, without letting some bitter person cause you to second guess what's in your heart.  Dont even give him that power. He's not worth your energy.  :)  

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marie.


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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:12:33 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		This keeps coming up all the time, and I've never understood why people seem to confuse the type of body that you're attracted to, which is a personal and physical matter, with the types of human beings that you believe deserve equal civil rights, which is a political and philosophical matter.  I believe that green women with extreme facial hair and fetid body odor deserve the same civil rights as any other human being--but I don't want to fuck them.

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:20:34 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Sounds like he resembles his own remarks to you.  Don't worry about it.  There are some wonderful folks out there and on here of every color that are truly beautiful humans.  Then again as in anywhere you go there are those who will forever have a chip on their shoulder for something.

Diamond

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:35:31 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind
why is it that men can not want a woman becasue she is 350lbs.   or that she has brown hair  or doesnt do the meet me nekkid at the motel for the first time visit?

Because they are asses LOL.

but a woman cannot say:   I hate to say this but i am ordinaarily not attracted to african american men! 

I would ask simply "why?" What is it that you are not attracted to?
 
by the way in the second to last email i recieved the message i really love redheads becasue their skin is sooo white?

Yep, this is as annoying as being liked because you are big. I think people who limit themselves in anyway are completely entitled to, but when a man only seeks out big women, he is as bad (IMO) as a man who refuses to even entertain the idea of dating a big woman.

so lets see if i read this right it is okay for him to havea physical attraction to me becasue i have such white white skin...but i am not allowed to not prefer african american men beasue of his skin color?

Yep. The major difference I guess being he LIKES you because of your white skin, not DISLIKES you because of it. If he didnt like you because you had white skin that would be racist.

when did a simple preference become a reason for being called a biggot.   I actually have recently had an attraction to a man who is of jamaican descent....and there are a few people on here that are aware of it  becasue believeit or not the issue i had on that was his age (26)  not his skin color! 

Personally for me racism/bigotry comes down to "why?" you have the preference. If you dont like African Americans because, for example, you believed they were decendant from monkeys and white people were not and were therefore superior, then your a racist. If you didnt like an African American because of some physical feature, ie he was too tall, you hated his hair, you only like cute little button noses etc then I'd say thats more of a preference thing and should be ok, though the African American may not agree.

so how is it that i can be nice and have back and forth intereactions with someone based upon not involvement  but as soon as i say i do not want to go further  I becsaome a bigot??

Because he may well be super sensitive because he has been rejected before? I couldnt say. I have met a man online who pretends to be a white casino manager, he used to display a picture of this really hot guy with tattoos etc. He nagged and nagged for me to show him me on cam. I refused asking if I got to see him too. First he said his cam was broken - yeah right. Then miraculously a few moments later after I refused to show myself to him untill he showed me him (I smelt something rotten) he had "borrowed" one. Before inviting me to view he explained that the lighting was not good and so the picture was dark etc etc When he came on he was an egyptian with dark skin. I questioned the difference in skin tone from his picture and was told "sorry princess its the lighting" - how stupid did this guy think I was? Anyway I then asked him where all his tatts were and was told "oh they were just ink ones" - now I am almost wetting myself. Finally I asked why he looked nothing like his picture, again I was told it was a
lighting" thing. He then asked how I felt about "black" men. I said I am fine with them provided they dont try to pretend they are white men and lie through their teeth!! LOL. Now he displays a picture of a different white man who has no tatts. He wanted to try and say I didnt like him because of his colour when I made it very clear it was because he was a liar. The same went for the man who had a "12 inch cock", he wanted to meet me. I agreed to meet for a coffee at a mutual place etc After chatting a while he ask what would I think if he was only 7 inches? Again I replied it didnt matter to me. He then confessed he wasnt 12 inches (huge shock LOL) and was only 7 etc. So I told him I was no longer interested in meeting him. He tried to say it was because of his cock size, despite the fact I made it clear it was because he was a liar and if your gonna start a relationship lying you got no hope.

when is a preference not just a preference  but biggotry??

Technically its racism when you alienate a whole race due to their religion, race, colour etc. But I believe there should be a little more to it. I guess only you in your heart can you know for sure how you truly feel etc Personally I do not limit myself by saying I wont consider African Americans or Asians etc, because I believe to do so might mean I could bypass my soul mate. Having said that though, if he had two heads....................?

someone help me??

I hope I have in some small way.


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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:40:15 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I believe that green women with extreme facial hair and fetid body odor deserve the same civil rights as any other human being--but I don't want to fuck them.


What if she was just green?

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:43:58 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		It is a preference and he just couldn't handle the rejection without lashing out at you. I happen to be attracted to white, tall men/women who are heavyset with dark hair. That is MY preference and I have had one African American who took my preference as bigotry and it was nothing of the kind. He just couldn't be a big boy and handle rejection.

Good luck,
~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:45:10 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Well, then it would depend on her figure and erotic talents.  I won't turn down a leprechaun JUST because she's a leprechaun...

quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I believe that green women with extreme facial hair and fetid body odor deserve the same civil rights as any other human being--but I don't want to fuck them.


What if she was just green?

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)
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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:48:02 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Well, then it would depend on her figure and erotic talents.  I won't turn down a leprechaun JUST because she's a leprechaun...


LOL, cool.

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:48:52 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I have heard this many times.  I am a bigot because I wont date African American men. The fact that I dont like dark skin on a person, be they African American, Hispanic or darkly tanned Caucasian seems to be forgotten in the need to justify their rejection as something else.  There cant be something unattractive about them, so it must be another motivation.
I tend to dismiss anyone who flies off the racial handle at the drop of a hat.  Too many people use it as their personal cause without as much as knowing what the offender's actual motivation can be.  Yes, there are biggots out there, they are alive and well.  BUT not everyone who doesnt find someone of another race attractive is one.

DV

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:49:09 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I believe that green women with extreme facial hair and fetid body odor deserve the same civil rights as any other human being--but I don't want to fuck them.


What if she was just green?


Then there'd be a whole continent full of StarTrek geeks for her to choose from


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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/29/2006 11:57:13 PM   
ShreveportMaster


Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I believe that green women with extreme facial hair and fetid body odor deserve the same civil rights as any other human being--but I don't want to fuck them.


What if she was just green?


Hey, it's not easy being green...unless she's Orion

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 7:49:57 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		It is a preference for most people in today's age. Some just might not be attracted to a certain color of skin and others maybe attracted because of the color of the skin. The rest it is a could care less situation.

To the OP and the person who accused you of bigotry, just let it roll of your back. There is a certain percentage of people on here who cannot handle rejection with class and many of them have already judged the person they are interested in if they are not. For this guy, who you quite clearly mentioned he had brought nothing to the table, it was race, to an older person it can be their age and so on. Nobody can judge another person from a few messages of generic conversation.

The nature of cyber space.



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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 7:51:36 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

This keeps coming up all the time, and I've never understood why people seem to confuse the type of body that you're attracted to, which is a personal and physical matter, with the types of human beings that you believe deserve equal civil rights, which is a political and philosophical matter.  I believe that green women with extreme facial hair and fetid body odor deserve the same civil rights as any other human being--but I don't want to fuck them.


That was a good way of putting it.  And I agree with all that was said here going by the OP's story. He even called her a prejusticed whore, which I doubt is the case in this circumstance. 

But in offering up a possible reason for what you're pointing out is that in some cases.... I would venture to say that some people do reject people based upon their own prejudices;  against one's religious beliefs, political beliefs, cultural beliefs or whathaveyou. 
In other words...maybe a caucasion woman rejects a korean man,  because she doesn't share the same cultural beliefs that he has and doesn't want to spend her life living an asian culture, but rather an american one,  therefore, in a sense, he has been rejected based upon his race.  But I dont think this would make someone a bigot, or a hater of asians or a person who believes that asians have less rights.
What Im trying to say is that it IS possible to reject someone based on their race, for reasons other than bigotry.

Dont know if this made any sense.


< Message edited by marieToo -- 11/30/2006 7:53:40 AM >

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 8:15:04 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		You nasty fuckin' bigot you.............

LOL,

Exactly!!!!!!

Ron

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 8:24:22 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

This keeps coming up all the time, and I've never understood why people seem to confuse the type of body that you're attracted to, which is a personal and physical matter, with the types of human beings that you believe deserve equal civil rights, which is a political and philosophical matter.  I believe that green women with extreme facial hair and fetid body odor deserve the same civil rights as any other human being--but I don't want to fuck them.


That was a good way of putting it.  And I agree with all that was said here going by the OP's story. He even called her a prejusticed whore, which I doubt is the case in this circumstance. 

But in offering up a possible reason for what you're pointing out is that in some cases.... I would venture to say that some people do reject people based upon their own prejudices;  against one's religious beliefs, political beliefs, cultural beliefs or whathaveyou. 
In other words...maybe a caucasion woman rejects a korean man,  because she doesn't share the same cultural beliefs that he has and doesn't want to spend her life living an asian culture, but rather an american one,  therefore, in a sense, he has been rejected based upon his race.  But I dont think this would make someone a bigot, or a hater of asians or a person who believes that asians have less rights.
What Im trying to say is that it IS possible to reject someone based on their race, for reasons other than bigotry.

Dont know if this made any sense.



It makes perfect sense. I love other cultures, want to learn all I can about them, but that does not mean I want to date outside of my own culture anymore. I have learned through personal experience that it does make a difference, how much of a difference it makes and how that impacts two people is all very individual. I have a preference for not only someone that is the same ethnicity as myself, but from the same region. In fact I would probably feel more comfortable with someone of a different ethnic background that was a native Californian than I would with someone from the South.

It has nothing to do with prejudices, we are talking about forming perhaps a lifelong relationship with someone and you are right, shared values and experiences can make the path to forging a relationship easier. It would be hard for me to be involved with a Taliban tribal leader that insisted I wear a Burka, it does not make me prejudiced to say that.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 8:25:36 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes people lash out when they feel hurt.

I briefly dated a black man in my second year of college. We went dancing a few times and out to lunch and then he let it slip that he had a girlfriend studying overseas.

Now I'm poly but she didn't know about me and he wasn't up front with me about her. That's a big NO in my moral code.

I told him that I couldn't see him any more.

He accused me of ending things cause he was black. I looked right at him, looked him up and down and said directly to his face "No, I noticed that immediately. It's because you lied to me and you're cheating on her."

A few days later he called to apologize but we never went out again.

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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 8:38:10 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

so lets see if i read this right it is okay for him to havea physical attraction to me becasue i have such white white skin...but i am not allowed to not prefer african american men beasue of his skin color?

Yep. The major difference I guess being he LIKES you because of your white skin, not DISLIKES you because of it. If he didnt like you because you had white skin that would be racist.





It seems to me in this context that liking someone simply because of their skin color is equally racist.  The negative connotation of disliking as compared to liking doesn't make it different.

There are people of every ethnicity who are prejudiced or racist within their own ethnic group.  A good example is an African American man who will not date African American women.  They have a stereotype affixed to African American women, and or Caucasian/Asian/(name any other ethnic group here) women and for this reason will be attracted to women of other ethnicities.  This too is racism.




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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 8:57:23 AM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		thank you all so much for putting in your dollars worth of input.   I had been pu toff by this...I mean the emails that were sent back and forth were nothing more than polite  hpe you are having a nice day typ eof thins...I do not have an issuebeing friends with someone that has dark skin....I actually met a man in pepboys that was dark skinned and had dreadlocks  but was only 26 years old....race had NOTHING to do with my attraction/non attraction to him....if i decided to persue somethign withhim it would be becasue i met him in person and we had an amazing 3 hour wait together i honestly didnt notice his color or excess there of.   The age....that was an omnipresent thing!
 
even when he tracked me down (some called it stalking, i found it to be flattering) and called me i concidered seeinghim...we had that good of a time just talking and yes he has some drop dead pecs...i saw them there under his thermal shirt and flannel shirt! LOL (Im a chest giel  some are ass people Im a check person).  when he called 2 days after meeting an not exchanging numbers he was able to get my number through connections...I found him to be worthy of actually being concidered dating material...it was never the color of his skin...it was the way he held himself.   I have met one other african american man that turned my engine on....but he is very married and i refuse to go there!
 
 
well once again thanks for helping me believe the way i elieved my decision   a preference has nothing to do with the color of his skin  there are probably more white men that i have intereacted witht hat i have not found attractive!   ah but well one cant be screamed at about beng a bigot can one?
 
thanks again
little red
 
 

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than it is to be loved for something you are not

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