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RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 9:00:39 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		I dont apologize for my preferences..neither should you..

As long as you are not rude or tacky. Your stuff is your stuff, their stuff is their stuff.

If you dont like their stuff..let them keep it. You dont have to buy it, own it, or even take it home to try it out with a money back guarantee.

Just say no..and walk away.

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 10:12:15 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		It's funny because I get the 'you are a racist' comment when I have told white males that I only date black males so it goes both ways.  

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 2:27:12 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		It's most surely a personal preference.  I go as far as clearly stating it in my profile, as I'm tired of the written altercations in my inbox over it like you received.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 3:42:56 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

so lets see if i read this right it is okay for him to havea physical attraction to me becasue i have such white white skin...but i am not allowed to not prefer african american men beasue of his skin color?

Yep. The major difference I guess being he LIKES you because of your white skin, not DISLIKES you because of it. If he didnt like you because you had white skin that would be racist.





It seems to me in this context that liking someone simply because of their skin color is equally racist.  The negative connotation of disliking as compared to liking doesn't make it different.

There are people of every ethnicity who are prejudiced or racist within their own ethnic group.  A good example is an African American man who will not date African American women.  They have a stereotype affixed to African American women, and or Caucasian/Asian/(name any other ethnic group here) women and for this reason will be attracted to women of other ethnicities.  This too is racism.


Actually the negative connotation does make a difference. My dictionary states racism to be - abusive or aggressive behaviour towards members of another race on the basis of physical characteristics. (I para-phrased). If the African American want to date women in his race then he would be racist toward them, not toward white women. Having said that I do agree with and understand you point.

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 4:54:00 PM   
BlueHnS


Posts: 166
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a tad bit confused ... did you say to him  A)"I'd rather not continue conversation with you, I'm not interested" or B)did you say something  more like " I'm not interested in black men blah blah blah ... " If you went with B then you no matter what other conversations you've had you introduced the race card. In his mind this is entirely your fault.
 
The following is SARCASM. If you don't get the concept please stop reading here.
 
You could have stopped him before he poured out his soul in those in depth 4 and 5 syllable emails. You could have prevented him from investing oh so much time cultivating the foundation for lifelong happiness. You  failed in your responsibility to clearly inform him that "hello, how was your weekend?" does not translate directly to please let me kneel eternally before you and cater to your every whim. 
In his mind you let him go on and on becoming attached to you, thinking of you knowing that you would one day say " I'm not interested" because you already knew you weren't. You <gasp> played with his emotions by leading him on in that oh so coy 1 or two sentence email style that you have worked years and years to develop.
If you truly cared about your fellow man you would not have let him waste so much precious time and energy. No, you would have told him right up front! You knew that  his hellos and little comments meant something deeper and yet you encouraged him! So does the fault lie with him? Absurd! Impossible! And, because you did not let him know immediately then you must be an evil person and to draw race into it no less? Ah yes .. you must be a biggot , or at the very least an extremely wicked woman.
 
And now back to serious thought ...
I am sorry that this happened to you. Unfortunately there remains a group of people (some black males included) who can not see their own shortcomings. By default the problem then must be a racial issue. So long as this backwards thinking continues then racism and bigotry have yet another place in which to thrive.

_____________________________

Questions are dangerous, for they have answers. ~ Kushiel's Dart
I think I'm going to get off. ~ The Poet

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 6:27:12 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		BlueHns you really have a point.   It's easier to state in the beginning, that you are not interested in a person for whatever reason.   I think that goes for all preferences not just race.   I mean if someone lists they are a BBW and that isn't your thing and you already know that you would not be interested in a BBW why would you exchange a serious of emails then say, "well I am not really interested in larger women."   If I were the gal on the other end of the emails---yeah I'd be pissed and think that other person was a real turd.   What's wrong with simply saying, "I'm not sure this would work." or not even responding at all.   I ignore emails, and I've had emails ignored---it happens life goes on.  

(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 6:55:00 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

by the way in the second to last email i recieved the message i really love redheads becasue their skin is sooo white



Dear Candle,

I am a lily-white skinned redhead whose Master is black.  (We don't use African American or Caucasian - I'm white, He's black... 'nuff said.)  So, to the guy who wrote to you, I might seem like someone who would probably like to talk to him...  however, I am prejudiced......  I can't stand idiots, and he sounds like he might just qualify.

I think whatever things give you a thrill are not subject to another person's scrutiny, and they don't require validation by someone else.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 8:39:14 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

so lets see if i read this right it is okay for him to havea physical attraction to me becasue i have such white white skin...but i am not allowed to not prefer african american men beasue of his skin color?

Yep. The major difference I guess being he LIKES you because of your white skin, not DISLIKES you because of it. If he didnt like you because you had white skin that would be racist.





It seems to me in this context that liking someone simply because of their skin color is equally racist.  The negative connotation of disliking as compared to liking doesn't make it different.

There are people of every ethnicity who are prejudiced or racist within their own ethnic group.  A good example is an African American man who will not date African American women.  They have a stereotype affixed to African American women, and or Caucasian/Asian/(name any other ethnic group here) women and for this reason will be attracted to women of other ethnicities.  This too is racism.



AhhhMissTress...once again you stole the words and beat me to the punch..here I was sitting here reading the responses and a gleeful thought of "oh boy no one thought of this"! came to my head...and poof..there you were!!..grrr.....Tempting

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 8:43:48 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL, so now I am a racist because I want Queen Latifah to gobble my cock like a thanksgiving turkey?



What would MizRudolph say?

Rich Pryor


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 8:48:25 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		 hehehe...sorry tempting.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 10:30:59 PM   
BlueHnS


Posts: 166
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		This really is a double edged sword because if I read the OP correctly she was under the inital impression it was merely potential friendship email while his reaction leads me to believe that his emails were, while not saying more, coming from an I'm very intereseted in you perspective.
I myself may have been involved in one of these situations but the male was extremely polite. The majority of our messaging (which I really enjoyed) was sports related. It wasn't until after I made a reference to Pain (my husband, who is Dom also) and the man made a polite but hasty departure that I realized that he was thinking one thing and I another.
When one is taking to someone on the potential friendship level there are so many things that just really don't matter so they don't come up in conversation. When one kicks it up a notch and is looking for a deeper realtionship then preferences come into play.  

_____________________________

Questions are dangerous, for they have answers. ~ Kushiel's Dart
I think I'm going to get off. ~ The Poet

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 11/30/2006 11:04:35 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

LOL, so now I am a racist because I want Queen Latifah to gobble my cock like a thanksgiving turkey?


LOL, not to my way of thinking, you keep desiring to be gobbled away, you'll recieve no complaint from me

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 12/2/2006 9:39:27 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueHnS

I'm a tad bit confused ... did you say to him  A)"I'd rather not continue conversation with you, I'm not interested" or B)did you say something  more like " I'm not interested in black men blah blah blah ... " If you went with B then you no matter what other conversations you've had you introduced the race card. In his mind this is entirely your fault.
 
The following is SARCASM. If you don't get the concept please stop reading here.
 
You could have stopped him before he poured out his soul in those in depth 4 and 5 syllable emails. You could have prevented him from investing oh so much time cultivating the foundation for lifelong happiness. You  failed in your responsibility to clearly inform him that "hello, how was your weekend?" does not translate directly to please let me kneel eternally before you and cater to your every whim. 
In his mind you let him go on and on becoming attached to you, thinking of you knowing that you would one day say " I'm not interested" because you already knew you weren't. You <gasp> played with his emotions by leading him on in that oh so coy 1 or two sentence email style that you have worked years and years to develop.
If you truly cared about your fellow man you would not have let him waste so much precious time and energy. No, you would have told him right up front! You knew that  his hellos and little comments meant something deeper and yet you encouraged him! So does the fault lie with him? Absurd! Impossible! And, because you did not let him know immediately then you must be an evil person and to draw race into it no less? Ah yes .. you must be a biggot , or at the very least an extremely wicked woman.
 
And now back to serious thought ...
I am sorry that this happened to you. Unfortunately there remains a group of people (some black males included) who can not see their own shortcomings. By default the problem then must be a racial issue. So long as this backwards thinking continues then racism and bigotry have yet another place in which to thrive.


honestly all of the emails consisted of...nice weather kind of conversations... he supposedly was new inthe area...I am not...  he asked me if there were local groups if i knew of any of them..i said yes and gave them to him....it wasnt until he said that he raised the looks thing   the red hair lilly white skin thing that I was put on notice to watch for the one two punch of the lets get togethr for coffe thing.

I have dated a samoan...he is one big hunk of man (7-2) ...i liked him and we got along well... have a i dated a dark skinned  man?  yes I have,  granted not an african american ....a man from india...but honestly i basically am ordinarily not attracted to african american men...just the way it is...I found it more annoying ot have someone to say they like me becasue i have a particular traight....especially since my color gets a big help from clairol!!!

so in my humble little opinion when i didnt want to meet up with him for coffee before a meeting that i wasnt goign to go to any how..and me letting him know before hand that i am not usually attracted to men of color...I thought it better then haviing him think that i was apotential playmate...especially since like i said he had a 2 line profile!  perhaps if he had an actual profile i may have given him mmore of a chance, but i dgress... It just is that i actually coem from a family of biggots...Im surprised that they are all still alive and well they are that bad.  I know for a fact that my friend cheryle is better in math than i ever was.. Darren is as nice as nice can be.  and Courtney she could wail on a clarinet!  I have no false sense of nonability  other than gettng my heart beat to go pitter patter...

and so thank you all for your input...i just wanted to make sure that it wasnt my imagination...and that this particular man was overly sensitive to this little lady saying no thanks.

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 12/2/2006 9:42:23 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		That's a big Samoan!

quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

I have dated a samoan...he is one big hunk of man (7-2) ...i liked him and we got along well...

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 12/2/2006 10:15:47 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		I've always found that women who have significant available cash on Fridays and Saturdays are vastly sexier.

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 12/2/2006 10:19:06 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

That's a big Samoan!

quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

I have dated a samoan...he is one big hunk of man (7-2) ...i liked him and we got along well...



well i dont know just how much of that was smoke and mirrors...he said he was that tall....Im only 4-9  so anythign more than 5-10 is a waste!!!  LOL


_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 12/2/2006 10:29:56 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueHnS

This really is a double edged sword because if I read the OP correctly she was under the inital impression it was merely potential friendship email while his reaction leads me to believe that his emails were, while not saying more, coming from an I'm very intereseted in you perspective.
I myself may have been involved in one of these situations but the male was extremely polite. The majority of our messaging (which I really enjoyed) was sports related. It wasn't until after I made a reference to Pain (my husband, who is Dom also) and the man made a polite but hasty departure that I realized that he was thinking one thing and I another.
When one is taking to someone on the potential friendship level there are so many things that just really don't matter so they don't come up in conversation. When one kicks it up a notch and is looking for a deeper realtionship then preferences come into play.  

Ms  Blue 

precisely what was going on in this little red head of mine!!  I can be sociable with out being into someone!!  as a matter of fact i find it the best friends are those that there is nothing there that is attractive on that basis...I have a dear friend that we tried that went there and any other euphamism any wants to use...but we just do not mesh at all...

and want to know something..it is to him i feel the closest to...he doesnt want anything from me,  he doesnt like what i have to offer...and vis vers...i Hate the sting of his whip...and well I scream too much for his taste...not to mention i have about 30lbs too much on me...but well I do not hold it against him and he doesn t hold it against me...I was hoping to maybe find another one of those  friends!  but alas  I am prejudice to dipwits and dumquots and i think that fool falls into both catagories.

little red

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 12/2/2006 10:31:14 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

I've always found that women who have significant available cash on Fridays and Saturdays are vastly sexier.


okay its now like saturday  i have $3.27  where does that put me onthe attraction scale??

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 12/2/2006 10:36:08 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

especially since my color gets a big help from clairol!!!



*giggles*  So then, Candle, you are not a "twue wedhead?"   

See therein lies the problem...  if you were a "twue wedhead,"  you would've been putty in his hands... just waiting for him to even speak to you...  and you would have dared not rebuffed him like that!

*falls on floor, laughing, avoids lightning bolt coming down from the sky* 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: bigotry or preference?? - 12/2/2006 11:03:26 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

I've always found that women who have significant available cash on Fridays and Saturdays are vastly sexier.


okay its now like saturday  i have $3.27  where does that put me onthe attraction scale??


It's 11 p.m., I just got in from a long flight and you're looking real good right about now.

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
Profile   Post #: 40
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