RE: bigotry or preference??

RE: bigotry or preference?? (Full Version)

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domiguy -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/7/2006 10:39:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress quote: ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave quote: ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind so lets see if i read this right it is okay for him to havea physical attraction to me becasue i have such white white skin...but i am not allowed to not prefer african american men beasue of his skin color? Yep. The major difference I guess being he LIKES you because of your white skin, not DISLIKES you because of it. If he didnt like you because you had white skin that would be racist. It seems to me in this context that liking someone simply because of their skin color is equally racist. The negative connotation of disliking as compared to liking doesn't make it different. There are people of every ethnicity who are prejudiced or racist within their own ethnic group. A good example is an African American man who will not date African American women. They have a stereotype affixed to African American women, and or Caucasian/Asian/(name any other ethnic group here) women and for this reason will be attracted to women of other ethnicities. This too is racism. You would be correct if the sole motivation of dating someone is the color of their skin....However it is impossible to ignore our own personal preferences. Personally, I prefer brown hair and eyes. I am attracted to women who are reasonably fit. I love intelligence. I have dated read heads and blondes...so "it's not a rule...more of a guide line"...(name the movie). There is a huge difference between racism and honest preference as long as it comes from within and not influenced by external forces. So I have been called shallow for not dating a larger woman...am I?....maybe another topic for another time. Anywhoo as long as someone is not deceptive and honest they have a right to choose who they date. And Candle in the wind has the right to choose who and what she does or does not find pleasing....It could have been better written and phrased "not did I say keep your dark brown self to yourself"? It is a hard topic to discuss openly without sounding sometimes like a bit of an ass, even if completely unintentional. Wish all well. If we all keep screwing each other we all will look relatively the same....brown hair and brown eyes...Domiguy's heirs will be in heaven...lol. Take care, D.G. p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers. p.s.s I also dislike political correctness gone awry...friend who is black broke up with her white boyfriend, and she subsequently started dating another white guy who moved from South Africa to the states....I ask if she enjoys dating an African American and if she thinks there is much of a difference....lol....I prefer black,white...etc

NaiveTempest -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/7/2006 10:43:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress quote: ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave quote: ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind so lets see if i read this right it is okay for him to havea physical attraction to me becasue i have such white white skin...but i am not allowed to not prefer african american men beasue of his skin color? Yep. The major difference I guess being he LIKES you because of your white skin, not DISLIKES you because of it. If he didnt like you because you had white skin that would be racist. It seems to me in this context that liking someone simply because of their skin color is equally racist. The negative connotation of disliking as compared to liking doesn't make it different. There are people of every ethnicity who are prejudiced or racist within their own ethnic group. A good example is an African American man who will not date African American women. They have a stereotype affixed to African American women, and or Caucasian/Asian/(name any other ethnic group here) women and for this reason will be attracted to women of other ethnicities. This too is racism. I'm afraid I have to take exception to this. I prefer interracial relationships because I often have more in common with those outside of my race. I'm not being racist, I have had black boyfriends. Many a black male has called me an "Oreo" or has accused me of wanting to be white because I don't do "typical black things". I LOVE my culture and skin color and wouldn't trade it, so am I being racist for wanting a man that I have common interest with? I have found that most often outside of my race, just as I find I feel more attracted to people outside of my race. How is that any different from someone feeling more attracted to someone "in" their race? If it's the way you put it, then basically EVERYone is a racist because everyone (don't lie people) have preconceived notions and everyone categorizes others based on those notions or prejudices/stereotypes. Is it wrong/racism for me to go after what I want and exclude those of my race because I know that they are NOT what I want? I mean stop and think about it, if you are drawn to/prefer your own race is that not "liking someone simply because of their skin color"? So is it racist to like your own race then? When you first see a person, what they look like is often the first factor of attraction and skin color can play a un/conscious role in that, so is it always being racist? When does racism stop and preference set in? LOL, okay, let me step off my soap box now; I guess to each there own because there is no right answer to this.

domiguy -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/7/2006 11:30:11 PM)
Naive Tempest...damn near made the same post at the same time....you complete me....lol

eyesopened -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/8/2006 3:18:09 AM)
People of any race or color can be either attractive or not depending on preference. We can't say all caucasians are attractive if we are caucasian even if caucasiod features are more appealing to a person. i believe that common cultural aspects to be more important. When i lived in the western US interracial relationships were commonplace but here in South Carolina people of different races won't even go to church with each other. Sad but true and i have learned since moving here that bigotry is a two-way street. Personally i tend to stay away from people who announce their ethnicity in the first sentence because it always sounds like a challenge. Emails that start out with "I am a [RACE] Master......" put me in a no-win situation. If i say "no, thank You" it will be interpreted as being bigotry no matter what the real reason.

cjenny -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/8/2006 3:51:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Tell any race that you are handicapped.. then you will see the true bigots. So far I have received much more support in my search than negativity. I posted my limitations at the beginning of my profile just so that I could avoid any potential unhappiness on my part & to avoid shock/fear/confusion/turn-off from folks that mail me. I think that is what made the difference, that I flat out stated it.

CandleInTheWind -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/8/2006 9:48:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened People of any race or color can be either attractive or not depending on preference. We can't say all caucasians are attractive if we are caucasian even if caucasiod features are more appealing to a person. i believe that common cultural aspects to be more important. When i lived in the western US interracial relationships were commonplace but here in South Carolina people of different races won't even go to church with each other. Sad but true and i have learned since moving here that bigotry is a two-way street. Personally i tend to stay away from people who announce their ethnicity in the first sentence because it always sounds like a challenge. Emails that start out with "I am a [RACE] Master......" put me in a no-win situation. If i say "no, thank You" it will be interpreted as being bigotry no matter what the real reason. I should have saw that one...coming to thinkof it...he did begin his first email with hello i am a tall balck well hung master

NaiveTempest -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/9/2006 5:18:57 AM)
In my job I have run across many a white male from South Africa. It always gives me a kick when I point out to people THEY are truly the "African Americans". Some people can't wrap their minds around it, lol. I'm with you, being PC is a pain. BUT, if a person truly prefers it, then fine I'll call you Caucasian, Afro-American, Latin American, etc...rather than white, black, latino, etc....

NaiveTempest -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/9/2006 5:23:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Naive Tempest...damn near made the same post at the same time....you complete me....lol Why thank you, kind sir, great minds et al, lol

enigmaslave -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/9/2006 6:03:15 AM)
(I apologies in advance, I have read opening post only, I hope I am not repeating) It is truly a shame, this seems to be a common “fall back card” “played” when uneducated or un-self disciplined people with esteem issues get upset for one reason or another. You don’t like me because (insert comment here). Or, I can’t win this argument so I will call you (insert comment here). Further more it not limited to race. I have seen this “card” “played” with some (not all): Homosexuals, Obese people, Impoverished people, Etc. etc. etc. I believe it’s more about them and their self esteem, and in your example, his issues of not being Caucasian. My personal example. I tried to date on woman once who had self esteem issues for “x y z” reason. It didn’t work out, because she was so focused on “x y z” we couldn’t get past that hurdle. In the end when it didn’t work out and it complete fell apart she blamed me, and my non preference for people with “x y z” (Really. Not from my perspective) What I have learned was this. It’s not worth trying to resolve a conflict that you do not have to begin with. It’s their conflict. Period. Trying to do anything regarding that issue will only hurt you, your self esteem, and your emotional well being. However, that is only my Canadian “two cents”. (What does that equal now 1.25 cents U.S.? LOL)

Lordandmaster -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/9/2006 8:51:47 AM)
If they're from South Africa, then they're Africans, not African Americans. I have a co-worker from South Africa who always goes out of her way to mention that she's African. (She's white.) After about two or three iterations, I think it gets tacky. quote: ORIGINAL: NaiveTempest In my job I have run across many a white male from South Africa. It always gives me a kick when I point out to people THEY are truly the "African Americans".

MistressYlwa -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/9/2006 9:04:26 AM)
His is just pissed that you chose him.

FemmeOwner -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/9/2006 9:35:33 AM)
Like the guy over on the crossdressing thread calling Dommes prejudice and intolerant who didn't want a CD as sub. As far as color goes, I myself don't have any particular preference; I am attracted by the mind, the thoughts, the sparkle in the eyes, rather than to physical appearance or color. I do admit a preference for long hair on guys, it's soooooooooo hot! but again, it's not even in the top 25 of considerations when chosing someone to be in my life. MY problem with having a black slave... more of a reservation, if you will... is the social implications. While I abhor political correctness for the sake of political correctness, I'm a child of California in the sixties. I was horrified at things that went on back then in the South (which was as far away from my world, and about as unreal to me, as a colony on Mars). I was on the march on the Capitol with MLK. My grandparents were union organizers. My grandmother would roll over in her grave if I had a black slave... heck, I would roll over in my grave too! LOL. It's too stereotypical, too harking back to days of when slave ownership was NONconsensual, for me to be comfortable with a black slave. Now, if the right slave came along, who happened to be black, would that keep me from accepting him as my slave? I honestly don't know. It hasn't happened to date, and I don't spend a lot of time worrying about it one way or another. I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

domiguy -> RE: bigotry or preference?? (12/9/2006 6:45:21 PM)
I am aware that citizenship is what requires someone to be called an "American." "p.s.s I also dislike political correctness gone awry...friend who is black broke up with her white boyfriend, and she subsequently started dating another white guy who moved from South Africa to the states....I ask if she enjoys dating an African American and if she thinks there is much of a difference....lol....I prefer black,white...etc." In the above situation the guy in question enjoyed dual citizenship due to the fact of a divorce.

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