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RE: sexual preffernce - 11/30/2006 2:07:10 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I was actually more open about being bisexual before I got into bdsm.  I found that once I was out as a slave that most Doms expected me to sleep with women on command for their kinky pleasure.  That is where I draw the line.  I have been bi for as long as I can remember and don't want it used as a sideshow for someone to get off.
 
I know that I was born with the desires I have.  I can remember being attracted to babysitters and the like as far back as my memory cares to take me.  I don't think that there are more bi people into bdsm.  I do think that most of us are more open about our sexual desires than the vanilla world and are able to express without the fear of being thought slutty or loose as a result.
 
Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
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(in reply to wulfe)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: sexual preferences - 11/30/2006 3:34:40 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		maybe the reason ther eare so many ppl here that are bi/ bi-curious is because this is not a everyday website forthe nillas..we hae a higher concentrate of ppl who are willing to accept thier sexuallity adntherefore not goignto hide it...

birds of a feather adn all that

sunny

(in reply to ImperatorMaximus)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: sexual preffernce - 11/30/2006 3:49:31 PM   
LRODANDMASTER


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline 		MY SEXAUL PREFERANCE IS BITCHES

(in reply to wulfe)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: sexual preferences - 11/30/2006 4:00:56 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Well, speaking for myself, I don't know what I'd call me. I don't have any misgivings about women, but at the same time, I also dont find myself wanting them in any other capacity beyond a good friend. And I have to say I dearly dearly love my female friends, regardless how they identify.

Because I have no misgivings about women though, I don't have any issues about being with women for the pleasure of my Master. In my mind, whether it's crass or not, a mouth is a mouth is a mouth is a mouth, and when I'm enjoying mouths and other things, I don't necessarily lay there thinking about whether the mouth is female or male. I'm enjoying myself and that's all I think about.

However, now that we've determined that I'm crass, call me insensitive as well. I have no desire to reciprocate in this sharing of mouths. It's not that I don't like who I'm with, because I really do. But my policy is that, for better or for worse, I don't go down on anyone other than my Master. It's strange, but I can do so many things with others and never think about it for a moment. However, when it comes to things oral...I can't make the disconnect between the action of the play and the emotions I feel. More than any other activity in bdsm, vanilla or any other lifestyle choice (or is it compulsion?), in my head, I connect anything oral to deep deep emotions. To do those things as simply play, with no emotions involved beyond "wow, this is fun" to me, is something that has hurt me badly throughout the years, and it has absolutely nothing to do with whether the person I'm doing this to is male or female.

I admit it makes me a boring kind of person when getting involved in all those other lifestyle and sexual combinations, but that's the way it stands at this point.

What I've also discovered though with so many of the other things I've called "limits" in my life, I'm quite sure that over time, and with the proper relationship, this limit may at one point in my life disappear. However, I'm not at that point yet. I just know never to say never.

So, what am I? Bi? Straight? Or just deeply committed to the man I call Master? In the end, whatever I am, I'm just me. That's just going to have to be good enough.



juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 11/30/2006 4:02:53 PM >

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: sexual preferences - 11/30/2006 11:13:59 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Perhaps (on this site), people feel that in order to attract playmates, they must be open to try whatever. So they list themselves as bi. *shrugs* Just a thought.

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: sexual preferences - 12/1/2006 5:18:19 AM   
ImperatorMaximus


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: Arkansas, USA
Status: offline 		Mikal, I think you've said in less than a hundred words what I expounded over in like 10,000.  For that feat, you win five hundred dinar, a rubber tack, and a starter solenoid for a 1986 Yugo.

This whole 'gay/bi' thing is just a way for some to fit in and attract attention, it seems.  I just can't help believing that some people enter this lifestyle in the hopes of getting attention no matter the cost.  This is evidenced by the high percentage of folk who enter the lifestyle completely unaware that BDSM consists of more than (1) ordering folk about, beating them senselees and using others for sexual gratification, and (2) taking everything that's dished out with a smile and word of thanks, hoping only to sate the desires of another. 

There's nothing wrong with those actions in and of themselves, but when you really think on it, isn't this lifestyle about more than physical desires and whims?  Sexuality is only a small facet - a sliver, if you will - of who and what we are?

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: sexual preffernce - 12/1/2006 5:34:19 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

I don’t know. I think a lot of people say they are bi because it’s the thing to do this decade. I’m not saying there are no bisexuals in the lifestyle, I just have to wonder why sooooo many especially girls are now bi.


Just fresh bait for an old game.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to drawntothedark)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: sexual preffernce - 12/1/2006 5:39:38 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

My gf called me one day while taking a human studies course in college. They learned in that course that 5% - 10% of people are hetero only or gay only, everyone else is in a grey area of bisexual or bo curious, whether they are willing to openly admit it or not is another thing.


I have heard this quoted a lot too. It comes from the Kinsey Report.


Kinsey also rated MEN to have an occurrence of 4% GREATER than females regarding bisexuality.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: sexual preferences - 12/1/2006 5:44:02 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ImperatorMaximus

The Kinsey Report is fraud perpetuated by generations of people bent on justifying their own desires. 


Do you have any verification to back up your statement?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to ImperatorMaximus)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: sexual preferences - 12/1/2006 7:00:37 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		What is the definition of bi? If a female kisses another female is she bi, or is she only bi if she has sex with her? If she does it once is she bi or is there a magical number that you have to preform before you are bi?

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: sexual preferences - 12/1/2006 7:21:11 AM   
themischievous1


Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline 		If one wants to define the label, true bisexuality means that one is attracted to both genders. In my opinion it also means one is capable of having a meaningful, loving relationship with a man or a woman and being completely fulfilled by either.
 
Personally speaking, I found myself to be bisexual long before it was the in thing to be and long before I discovered the BDSM lifestyle/culture. I've lived with and loved certain women deeply over the course of my life. Had it been allowed back then, I probably would have married one of them. I say this to make clear that when I was in a committed relationship with a woman, she was enough for me and men weren't needed or wanted in our union.
 
I haven't loved women and wanted to make love to women because a dominant told me to or wanted to see some hot action between ladies. In fact, making love with anyone is a private matter for me and it's pretty much going to remain one on one, no matter who the gender...but those who label themselves bi and only make love to women because it's their dominant's preference are not what I would consider bisexual. They are straight women commanded to get their dominant off.

(in reply to LordVelvet)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: sexual preffernce - 12/1/2006 7:28:12 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

The fact that they have already "come out' as being kinky leads to greater honest in something less stigmatized than kink in many cases.



I think this is dead on. Certainly there are women in this life that identify as bisexual because they are willing to be with another woman but do not get real pleasure from it but know men like the thought but from my experience once you have crossed the line into this life being more open toward your sexuality is much easier for most.

I am very in the open about being bisexual and I have had more then my share of "regular" women inquire about being with me who would never ever admit to anyone their leanings including I would guess surveys.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: sexual preferences - 12/1/2006 8:45:52 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordVelvet

What is the definition of bi? If a female kisses another female is she bi, or is she only bi if she has sex with her? If she does it once is she bi or is there a magical number that you have to preform before you are bi?


The Kinsey scale which has been indirectly refered to is a scale with a rating of 0-6 for ranking your interest in same-sex or different sex partners. (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-hhscale.html)

You rank yourself along that scale.

It can be interpreted to say that anyone not a 0 or a 6 is bisexual and most people do not rank themselves as only 0 or 6.

Depending on which groups answer any such ranking survey, you'll see trends in one direction or another.

Kinsey wasn't trying to say "this is how we should be" or even "this is how nature makes us". He was interested in how people were behaving, feeling and thinking. Those three things don't always go together so it is good to look at all of them if you want to understand human beings.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LordVelvet)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: sexual preferences - 12/1/2006 12:45:30 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1

... In my opinion it also means one is capable of having a meaningful, loving relationship with a man or a woman and being completely fulfilled by either. 

That's pretty much how I view being bi. I was always attracted to both sexes, and had relationships with both (NOT at the same time). What I find frustrating is when I tell my potential partner that I'm bi, they automatically assume I want poly. I don't. I don't approve of it (no offense meant to those in such an arraingement - if it works for you, more power to you). I'm not going to wander off and follow some guy/girl who has nice buns. That's like saying that if you're straight, then you'd wander after the next hottie that happens to pass buy. Granted, some people do, but that's not me. I'm not an animal that is incapable of thought or a slave to my sex drive, as it were.
 
D.

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to themischievous1)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: sexual preferences - 12/1/2006 12:50:53 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImperatorMaximus

The Kinsey Report is fraud perpetuated by generations of people bent on justifying their own desires. 


Do you have any verification to back up your statement?


I have never heard anyone claimed that Dr. Kinsey's study was fraudulent. Yet, there are some criticism on his methodology.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: sexual preferences - 12/1/2006 3:52:24 PM   
ImperatorMaximus


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: Arkansas, USA
Status: offline 		So the discussion has gone from sexual preferences in the Lifestyle to seeking a de facto Deus ex machina for some odd reason.  That's OK; I rather enjoy this.  I won't argue with anyone; that's not my intent.  One could say that my statements on 'statistics-bending' could be applied to Kinsey himself.  Heck, nobody since Kinsey has duplicated those experiments, polls, etc. using the same methods; it would follow logically that his results are not, in fact, empirical and all-inclusive.

My point is that none of it really matters; statistics are a twoedged sword (Having been employed in the past as a statistician/quality manager, I know all about cookin' them thar books.) whose sole purpose is to stress a certain ideal and make it look as good as possible. 

Forgive the wordiness; I love writing and consider it one of the higher arts.

I guess some people just see alternate sexual preferences as kinks in themselves.  Circular logic, I know, but hey - humans are no less than strange.

_____________________________

Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: sexual preffernce - 12/1/2006 4:06:20 PM   
blushingflower


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		There's a spectrum of sexuality, and people fall in various places on it. 
I don't truly identify as "bisexual" because I'm not really interested in having a relationship with a woman (outside of friendship).  However, I list myself as "bisexual" for two reasons.  One, I have fantasized about being with a woman (especially a woman who was part of a couple where both dominate me), and I have enjoyed what play I have had with other females.  Two, it pleases my Master for me to be bi, and since it's not something that I find objectionable, I play with other women in order to make him happy.  So you will find people who identify as "bi" in the sense that they are open to sex with people of their sex, without necessarily being bisexual in the mainstream understanding of the term.

(in reply to wulfe)
Profile   Post #: 37
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