Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 9:11:23 AM   
DenimDom


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline 		I am someone that needs to keep my lifestyle secret because of career issues, but submissives I'm interested are often exhibitionists. How can I reconcile my need for privacy and her need to display herself? Is it even possible? What have some of Y/you done?

Thank you in advance,

Denim Dom
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 9:22:49 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		great!!!

Tell them that outside of the home they are kink stupid, end of convo.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 9:24:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think you can either keep it to random encounters in far away places where no one you know will ever likely see you or just not get involved with an exhibitionist.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 9:46:12 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
Gee, I know several doctors, lawyers, cops who frequent the Dungeons around Colorado.  Usually folks use screen names...or first-names-only.  During orientation to the Club, folks are clued in to the idea that 'what happens here, stays here'....and cautioned never to launch into activities that happened there even with specific people you might find in the grocery store; ya never know who's 'out'.  I don't know anybody who's had a problem.  Most people have somebody they're not out to, so people respect other's privacy. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 10:05:48 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It depends on what is "privacy" to you. Does this mean never doing anything outside the bedroom, even in approprate public? There are groups out there full of people just like you...and probably with some of the same concerns as you. If you can visit these groups and she can be a exhibitionist there, probably to most everyone's entertainment. ;-)

If that's not an option...I agree with LA...look for someone who better matches what you need.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 10:29:10 AM   
DenimDom


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you very much to everyone who has replied so far. In the interest of clarity, I want to avoid anything that could connect me with the lifestyle publicly. Anything else is fair game. I'm also looking for specific suggestions on what can be done, either with her in public alone or with me. Dungeons are the obvious idea, but other suggestions are welcome too.

Thanks again

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 10:33:46 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDom
Thank you very much to everyone who has replied so far. In the interest of clarity, I want to avoid anything that could connect me with the lifestyle publicly. Anything else is fair game. I'm also looking for specific suggestions on what can be done, either with her in public alone or with me. Dungeons are the obvious idea, but other suggestions are welcome too.

Thanks again

So you've already decided that you can be with and make an exhibitionist happy...but now you're looking for ideas on how you can actually do that?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 10:41:02 AM   
DenimDom


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline 		No I haven't decided that, which is why I'm posting. I came here looking to learn from others more experienced than I - to see what others in similar situations have done. If all I wanted were suggestions, I wouldn't have mentioned a relationship for myself at all. I'm using the information here to help me decide if this is even an option for me. The post is hypothetical. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just want information.

Denim Dom

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 10:46:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDom

No I haven't decided that, which is why I'm posting. I came here looking to learn from others more experienced than I - to see what others in similar situations have done. If all I wanted were suggestions, I wouldn't have mentioned a relationship for myself at all. I'm using the information here to help me decide if this is even an option for me. The post is hypothetical. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just want information.

Denim Dom


Well what exactly are you afraid of?  What can you exposure be?  Can you go to a munch in a social public restaurant and meet with a bunch of kinky people looking like everyone else?  Can you go to a dungeon party where there will be a few dozen strangers in kink? 

Your fear might be irrational, it might be completely justified.  It really depends on what you're willing to take a risk on and what will make you happy.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 10:59:26 AM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		What if you try one of those free online cam sites like www.cobracam.com maybe if you guys do a show or something it will satisfy the subs cravings.  You could even set up your own little drool site for next to nothing as long as you have all your paper work in order.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 12:57:48 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Your freakin' job is the primary consideration for your life's needs and decisions?  I don't care what you do, it doesn't pay nearly enough in dollars or prestige!
 
I'd suggest you re-evaluate your priorities because I work to live - and NEVER the other way around!
 
Focus.

(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 1:20:26 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I think they used to say " dont shit in your own back yard " ... I'd have to suggest it's time for a road trip. 
Your rung of the food chain ladder is what depends on how far. 

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 1:23:22 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDom
. How can I reconcile my need for privacy and her need to display herself?

Wear a mask, go to a club, go out of town, obey the laws, don't get arrested.

Ross

Bon D' Age' : BDSM
http://tinyurl.com/ygblqt
Designermite :
http://tinyurl.com/ueov5
Soul of Motorcycle Art
http://tinyurl.com/ybg73a

(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 1:59:46 PM   
MasterKalif


Posts: 648
Joined: 5/24/2004
Status: offline 		DenimDom, I understand your concern, as someone who will enter work again with a prestigious company, I can understand that you can never be too careful. However I think you need to take this into consideration....if say you were doing something public at a dungeon or at a "munch" with like minded kinksters, and there was someone from your office there, its not like he can do anything about it, as he is in the same situation....same as if someone you know saw you on collarme...to which it would indicate he or she signed up, he or she has this lifestyle interest as well and therefore, it would not make sense for him or her to tell the world about it.

On another note...I think some nice ways of being able to indulge in the exhibitionist thing is to take weekend trips or day trips to other places, other towns and cities, or somewhere with privacy...and likewise, you can make friends through munches who are in the lifestyle and then you could have your sub indulge in her exhibitionism like that. There are many ways, and it can be done without your other friends, colleagues, family finding out.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 5:36:18 PM   
DomDog


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline 		 How much does your sub 'need' to show?  I've always had good responses from subtle exhibitionism,  like send her shopping with no panties and a short skirt, or an open jacket and a see-thru top. That way she can still 'show' but it is fleeting and can always be explained as a simple "Oops" (see references to Britney Spears, you don't really thnk that was accidental, do you?).

(in reply to MasterKalif)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/1/2006 8:47:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDog

How much does your sub 'need' to show?  I've always had good responses from subtle exhibitionism,  like send her shopping with no panties and a short skirt, or an open jacket and a see-thru top. That way she can still 'show' but it is fleeting and can always be explained as a simple "Oops" (see references to Britney Spears, you don't really thnk that was accidental, do you?).

As always, depends on the person.  I stopped wearing panties and wearing revealing clothes when I was 18...BEFORE I'd heard of "bdsm"  That doesn't give me a high, it's just how I feel comfy.

If we're talking serious exhibitionism here, we're going to need more consistent, obvious, and relatively safe exposure.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DomDog)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/2/2006 5:46:41 PM   
NYMaster101


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		How about posting her photos on the web and asking for comments?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/2/2006 6:42:15 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Considering that Los Angeles (center of movie & tv), New York (center of business and finance) and Washington DC (home of issues on a global scale) are some of the most active scenes in the country with TONS of people that likely have more to lose than you. I find it kind of arrogant on your part to believe we're that interested in outing you to anyone. Though Tom Cruise as a daddy dom might explain a few things. Anyway, there are people that play publically all the time with more to lose than most. Their subs manage to behave themselves. If owning an exhibitionist is your thing (you're denying and I'm seeing between the lines) then training is going to be paramount. Obviously overt exposure at dinner with the CEO isn't going to wash but pulling over on the way home, pulling off her dress and making her ride home in undergarments as a reward might.
As any companion training as to expectations is your starting point.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 12/2/2006 6:43:31 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to NYMaster101)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/2/2006 7:04:10 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Though Tom Cruise as a daddy dom might explain a few things.



Of all the people you would pick as an example of a daddy Dom who was worried about being outed.

I forget the name of the comedian who said in his act that his wife just had a child, and wanted to reassure the audience that Tom Cruise was there to eat the afterbirth.

Just me, probably wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/2/2006 7:13:17 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Though Tom Cruise as a daddy dom might explain a few things.



Of all the people you would pick as an example of a daddy Dom who was worried about being outed.

I forget the name of the comedian who said in his act that his wife just had a child, and wanted to reassure the audience that Tom Cruise was there to eat the afterbirth.

Just me, probably wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy


Wrong on entirely too many levels I think

Frankly it's one of the only reasons I could come up with for why such a sweet young girl would be with the poster child for extraterrestrial wierdos. I keep hoping that E.T. will hurry up and come get him.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109