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Being collared - 12/2/2006 10:12:55 AM

delust666

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline

I am new to this lifestyle but have been given a collar from my Master. I know whY i have it and what it means......just how do I get over those feelings that everyone is only looking at my collar out in public. And how do I get over being shy with my collar??? Can anyone help me????

Post #: 1

RE: Being collared - 12/2/2006 10:19:31 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

First of all, what does your collar look like? Different ones are bring worn everyday by many people and some of them look like regular vanilla jewelry, but the significance is there, that it represents something else.

Second, if it is not something that screams "LOOK AT ME!" then perhaps it is just going to take you getting used to the fact that it represents something between you and your Dom, that may be new and exciting and a little nerve-wracking to you as you start down this road. Maybe your Dom knows that the collar makes you feel a bit weird and enjoys that fact, esp. knowing that regardless, you will not take it off. (Part of the power exchange) Just my two cents...

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to delust666)

Post #: 2

RE: Being collared - 12/2/2006 11:17:10 AM

MasterNdorei

Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

In time you will feel more comfortable wearing your collar... in the meantime, enjoy the newness of it, even if it does make you feel shy about it... think of ways you can side step answers, or ways you would like to answer, should questions from others arise. perhaps being prepared will make you feel more comfortable...

Congradulations, by the way!
Master's dorei

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 3

RE: Being collared - 12/2/2006 11:47:11 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I wear mine all the time and I have yet for anyone to even notice it. If they do, they don't have any clue what it means and just think it's a pretty necklace.

Just hold your head high and be proud wearing it. Who really cares if anyone notices it or not? If they seem to, just put your head a bit higher even and go on.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to delust666)

Post #: 4

RE: Being collared - 12/2/2006 2:04:46 PM

SamKeithsslave

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: delust666

I am new to this lifestyle but have been given a collar from my Master. I know whY i have it and what it means......just how do I get over those feelings that everyone is only looking at my collar out in public. And how do I get over being shy with my collar??? Can anyone help me????

Well I agree with Daddysredhead, what sort of collar is it? If it is a black thick leather collar with steel metal spokes jutting out from it, then you will get those that will stare, poo to them! LOL Dye your hair green and give them something else to stare at

However if it is a plain simple collar that looks merely like some new piece of jewellery it could just be your imagination that they are staring, or they could be just admiring it? You may just be feeling self concious because its new and because you know the true significance behind it.
Either way, try not to let it get to you and enjoy

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to delust666)

Post #: 5

RE: Being collared - 12/2/2006 3:06:51 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_498653/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#498670
The Coveted and Legendary Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_531609/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#531610
Collaring vs Wearing a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_547321/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#547475
The meaning of a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_485613/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#485797
Please share with me (what being collared means to you)

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=427111&mpage=1&key=collaring&#427257
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http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=410988&mpage=1&key=collaring&#411019
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_291301/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#291301
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_287566/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287566
Another Question Regarding the Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=323687&mpage=1&key=collaring&#323702
collars (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287140/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287140
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_264867/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#264867
Sub Thoughts on collars

http://www.collarchat.com/m_248345/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#248345
collar before love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668
ring or collar, what's the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_219135/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#219135
What does a collar mean?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_190240/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#190240
collar or what else?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_187244/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#187244
Accepting a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_184946/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#184946
Timeframe for a Collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_177155/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#177155
collar (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_165733/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#165733
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_150934/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#150934
Losing the Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_132702/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#132702
From chat to collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898
Wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449
What are the collar types/levels please?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_80281/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#80281
When is the right time to collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_55592/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#55592
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_27368/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#27368
Kind of a collar question?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_11451/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#11451
Collaring a submissive?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428
What is your definition of a training collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402
Multiple collars or single collar?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to delust666)

Post #: 6

RE: Being collared - 12/2/2006 7:44:31 PM

timeoutgurlie

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

He chose to give me a diamond necklace rather than a collar that looked steretypically like a collar. There were a few reasons for this choice.

1. We are both professionals and could not be known for what we choose to do in our private lives, just as we wouldn't expect colleagues to discuss the intimate details of their personal lives during a board meeting...it's hard to think of a good vanilla equivalent of wearing a collar, but hopefully you get the idea.

2. He is very much a private person, so even taking our professional integrity aside, for him anywhere in public he prefers to not make a 'spectacle' of sorts, so wearing a collar that would attract a lot of attention would make him feel uneasy.

3. He knew I would love the 'necklace' because it was one I'd tried on on one of our shopping days but decided to wait until later to get it for myself, so instead he got it for me and it's meant as much to us as any collar could. We didn't feel it was necessary to have it be a standard looking collar, afterall it's much like a wedding band, if you choose to wear them they they're a symbol of your union, they're not able to make or break that bond, just a physical symbol of emotion.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: Being collared - 12/2/2006 10:23:55 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

In that case it's the emotional collar taking hold. One of my secretaries is collared and wears something a little different every day. Sometimes as simple as a ribbon chokered around her neck. That thread around her neck is no less a collar to her and a reminder of obedience.
I would say keep talking to your master. With what you describe they may be admiring a nice piece of jewelry, they don't actually see the neon sign over your head that says collared sub.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)

Post #: 8

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 12:24:11 AM

timeoutgurlie

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

I think it's incredible coincidence two people in the lifestyle would work in the same office.

Makes one kick back and want to pay closer attentio to coworkers to see if any others are in the building lol

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 9

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 8:25:41 AM

katie7

Posts: 59
Joined: 9/16/2006
From: australia
Status: offline

I have a black leather collar that I wear at home all the time in private and a beaded choker that I wear at other times in public..

_____________________________

"Without my dominace you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different." - My Beloved

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)

Post #: 10

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 8:51:17 AM

timeoutgurlie

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

I think since probably the 80s it's been acceptable in public, and probably somewhere in the 90s would've been acceptable in most workplaces, lucky for those who enjoy that punk rock made it fashionable eh?

I'd never really be able to tell the difference at first sight even with something that looked very "collar", even genuine pet collars, it's just so mainstream.

(in reply to katie7)

Post #: 11

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 7:10:26 PM

behindmirrors

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

I have not recieved a formal collar from my Dom. I am still in training to him for it, and we see it as akin to marriage, so it will be a while until we are completely ready. I do, at his request, occasionally wear a discreet symbol of his ownership of me, though it is not a traditional collar in any way. I have a beaded choker I made myself for the dressy occasions, and a simple black velvet ribbon choker for more mundane ones. In each case, it does not symbolize more than a sense of security that he is protecting me and cares for me- and that the full collar yet to come will symbolize the full scope of ownership he has over me.

I've been toying with the idea of making beaded ones (like the one I have myself, or any variant thereof, I suppose) for others- since I am often asked about where I got it. Vanilla types just think it's a beautiful necklace, so the compliments abound, and you can smile to yourself knowing the real meaning of having it around your neck. I like it because I can get away with it at work or other vanilla life functions, haha.

behindmirrors.

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)

Post #: 12

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 7:23:58 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I have a collar that I wear daily that is a vanilla piece of jewelry. Then we have a play collar and etc. Be proud that you are collared ,don't shy away from it. You should be proud to show your ownership and committment.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to delust666)

Post #: 13

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 7:49:54 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie

I think it's incredible coincidence two people in the lifestyle would work in the same office.

*the last place I worked, up till last month, there were three of us - a male Dom who sometimes switches, a fem sub (me), and a newbie lesbian Domme with some switch tendencies... Considering there were only ten of us in that particular office, I found the odds to be mind-boggling!*

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)

Post #: 14

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 7:55:27 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie

I think it's incredible coincidence two people in the lifestyle would work in the same office.

*the last place I worked, up till last month, there were three of us - a male Dom who sometimes switches, a fem sub (me), and a newbie lesbian Domme with some switch tendencies... Considering there were only ten of us in that particular office, I found the odds to be mind-boggling!*

About three years ago I was in a chat room and came across a guy who sat just down the hallway from me at work.

I also came across someone who lived in the house directly across the street from me when we were kids. Totally mind boggling!!

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 15

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 7:58:03 PM

timeoutgurlie

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie

I think it's incredible coincidence two people in the lifestyle would work in the same office.

*the last place I worked, up till last month, there were three of us - a male Dom who sometimes switches, a fem sub (me), and a newbie lesbian Domme with some switch tendencies... Considering there were only ten of us in that particular office, I found the odds to be mind-boggling!*

Wow, must be something in the water, hmm? *giggles*

I think I'd just be too...dumb is a harsh word, not sure which to use...I wouldn't be perceptive enough about it to feel sure. And would be much too chicken shit to discuss it or ask. I'm kind of the top rung, so to make myself vulnerable in that way makes me a bit panicky...I'd love to ask a couple though now that I've thought about it.

Maybe it will get easier to "tell" once I've worked up the courage to go to 'lifestyle' parties and all. I thought I was ready months ago, but once it drew near, the panic set in and it was a no go. Would be interesting working together with others I think, I should look for a few to make myself feel better lol

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 16

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 7:58:38 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

About three years ago I was in a chat room and came across a guy who sat just down the hallway from me at work.

I also came across someone who lived in the house directly across the street from me when we were kids. Totally mind boggling!!

*giggles* Don't you just love that stuff? Absolutely amazing...

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 17

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 7:59:16 PM

timeoutgurlie

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

Lol at owned's story...that had to feel exciting and a little strange all at the same time, eh?

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)

Post #: 18

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 8:03:07 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

The neighbor thing was.............odd, to say the least. We were talking..."Oh hey that's my home town too. Oh...wow that's the school I went to, too. OMG yep yep I lived in that neighborhood too, what street did you live on? Oh Holy Mother of God, really?!"

I knew exactly who he was. He did not know who I was, as he pulled something in the conversation which required me to not speak to him again. But still, it was bizarre. He's probably wondering to this day just which neighbor he was talking to...lol

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)

Post #: 19

RE: Being collared - 12/3/2006 8:10:48 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie

I think it's incredible coincidence two people in the lifestyle would work in the same office.

*the last place I worked, up till last month, there were three of us - a male Dom who sometimes switches, a fem sub (me), and a newbie lesbian Domme with some switch tendencies... Considering there were only ten of us in that particular office, I found the odds to be mind-boggling!*

Wow, must be something in the water, hmm? *giggles*

It was a very non-threatening place to work, and people were very accepting of whatever lifestyles the rest had. We had very conservative to very liberal and all things in between. My lesbian co-worker said something the first week I was there that led me to believe that she sensed something in me that made her feel comfortable to ask me a question (about what, now, I can't remember). Then another co-worker in his early 50's made a comment one day about his wife needing her butt spanked for some unruly behavior... I said, jokingly, "Well, maybe you ought to try it." He smiled back at me and said, "Oh, I do... regularly." *giggles* That's when I knew I had like-minded perverts at work. I hooked them all up to CM and they both have accounts here as well. It was a great place to work, and those two always referred to my Master as "Big Daddy" in front of everyone, and no one batted an eye. The nillas probably thought it was because He was the size of a linebacker... but we three knew best.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)

Post #: 20

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