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attracting a Master.... - 12/2/2006 10:34:24 AM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		I have only been under One until His death in 2000.....if we had private get togethers or within a club..He would permit me to being used by anOther....
what could anyone suggest that is the main attraction on online searching for a Master?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/2/2006 10:49:18 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul

I have only been under One until His death in 2000.....if we had private get togethers or within a club..He would permit me to being used by anOther....
what could anyone suggest that is the main attraction on online searching for a Master?

the main attraction in searching online? My personal opinion is that it gives both parties a sense of anonymity (sp?).




_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/2/2006 10:55:29 AM   
ornjkitty


Posts: 27
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		Are you asking what would attract someone online?

(in reply to Kalira)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/2/2006 11:28:39 AM   
HollyS


Posts: 230
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul

I have only been under One until His death in 2000.....if we had private get togethers or within a club..He would permit me to being used by anOther....
what could anyone suggest that is the main attraction on online searching for a Master?


I'm sorry to hear of the death of your One.  It may feel overwhelming to begin looking for a Master again, but starting online has many benefits:
  • You can post a good description of yourself, what you've learned over time, and what you want/need in someone new.
  • You can vet responses safely from your computer and decline those who don't meet your needs or suit you personally.
  • You can spend a lot of time talking in IM, getting to know each other, before agreeing to meet over coffee or dinner. 
  • And above all, meeting online first gives you a sense of distance which may be useful at this stage for you.  It lets you consider what someone is saying apart from any physical attraction and gives you time to respond without feeling so "on the spot."
Online communication can set a great foundation for future phone conversation and meeting in person.  Congratulations on venturing out again and best of luck to you. 

~Holly


_____________________________

I wish my lawn were emo, so it would cut itself.

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/2/2006 1:17:13 PM   
darkbigdaddy


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/15/2006
Status: offline 		Being in the area.

Being available when needed (scheduling) and chemistry.

(in reply to HollyS)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/2/2006 5:32:56 PM   
strangefruit


Posts: 36
Joined: 12/2/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HollyS

quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul

I have only been under One until His death in 2000.....if we had private get togethers or within a club..He would permit me to being used by anOther....
what could anyone suggest that is the main attraction on online searching for a Master?


I'm sorry to hear of the death of your One.  It may feel overwhelming to begin looking for a Master again, but starting online has many benefits:
  • You can post a good description of yourself, what you've learned over time, and what you want/need in someone new.
  • You can vet responses safely from your computer and decline those who don't meet your needs or suit you personally.
  • You can spend a lot of time talking in IM, getting to know each other, before agreeing to meet over coffee or dinner. 
  • And above all, meeting online first gives you a sense of distance which may be useful at this stage for you.  It lets you consider what someone is saying apart from any physical attraction and gives you time to respond without feeling so "on the spot."

Online communication can set a great foundation for future phone conversation and meeting in person.  Congratulations on venturing out again and best of luck to you. 

~Holly




Perfect. I couldn't agree more.

_____________________________

"How beautiful is the fruit still in denial of it's roots?"

(in reply to HollyS)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 1:02:54 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline 		Not so mention that truly wonderful people (bow) can be found on CM.

(in reply to strangefruit)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 8:40:08 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		For me it's just a wider pool.  More access I have to more people, greater likelihood of a good connection on the "extremes" that I'm into.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 9:31:30 AM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline 		The main advantage would have to be the vast numbers of people online.  Your more likely to find someone that suits your interests and needs. The best part i think is  the ability to "try before you buy".A relationship on here can develop  as slow or as fast as you want it to, unlike in person where  it may move faster than you desire. Some spend  months or years on here talking to another everyday before ever meeting. Some may meet more quickly. 

It is not all  great though. You should still be cautious. Their are many on here that "play" the role yet know nothing about  being  it. Their are many who are "fly-by-night" also. And as far as Masters go, many who  ae just vanilla playing master in hopes of an easy  lay.

You have a much bigger pool on the inet with alot more fish... but you get alot more bad fish as well as alot more good fish. Take your time, be cautious, and dont take anything to heart  until you at least develop a fairly good relationship with someone on here and you should be ok.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 9:44:21 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Out of curiosity... how does one (take you, for instance) train a girl to prepare her for another Dominant (as is mentioned in your profile)?
 
And what qualifies someone (take you, for instance) to be such a trainer?
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 10:42:30 AM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Out of curiosity... how does one (take you, for instance) train a girl to prepare her for another Dominant (as is mentioned in your profile)?
 
And what qualifies someone (take you, for instance) to be such a trainer?
 
John


Ahh a debate. Their are  Doms who dont want to train a sub/slave for various reasons.I can take care of that for them. But more importantly their are those subs that are curious about the lifestyle  that want taught by a dom on a one on one basis( rather than gather all the info about the  lifestyle via sites and general chat.) i take these subs and help them explore the lifestyle based on their  personality, interest, and fantasies and they dont have to make any actual commitment. Its like free BDSM college. Training for another Dom is a difficult task. But , on the other hand, their are alot of generalities  between Doms.  A sub that has been taught and trained by me  has a better idea of what she wants in a more permanent Dom.  She also learns her limitations and it is much easier for her to learn  a certain Doms ways.  For instance you can take any experienced sub on here and put them with a Dom and they will adapt to that Dom alot more quickly than  a sub  who is just now exploring this.  They know from serving. They have experience. They also have alot better ability  to accurately pick a Dom that is suited to them. I give the newer girls  some of that advantage the experienced subs have. Many Doms wont consider a girl  who has never tried this before. Basically they dont want to deal with someone who is starting from scratch, for various reason.

As for my qualifications, I didn't realize i was appling  for a job.  Qualifications seems to be a big thing with other males in this lifestyle as if i am challanging them.  But if you really want to know my qualifications here they are:

1)I've been active in BDSM for 9 years.
2) Ive spent a vast amount of hours just reading  into BDSM including  all the Gorean series and many sites based on or around that branch of BDSM.
3) I've dabbled in Gorean to a degree. I found it to be to restricting for my taste.
4) I've  spent hours upon hours chatting with subs online. sometimes as a friend with a shoulder to lean on and sometimes  as their Master.
5) I've  trained or taught more girls online than I can actually remember  probably over 100.
6) I 've trained/taught 30 and some change  girls in real life.
7) Excluding those subs in #6 , I've "collared" 4 other girls in real life.
8) I am typically quite active in this lifestyle. Most of my free time ( not working or sleeping) is spent doing something that is in some way related to BDSM.

Those Sir are my qualifications, provided i need some.  

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 10:49:05 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Their are  Doms who dont want to train a sub/slave for various reasons


If a Dom is too lazy (or has other reasons) to train a sub, he shouldn't have one.  How can you train a sub for another Dom?  Do you have a meeting and learn what he likes/dislikes?  Why would a sub want to be trained by a Dom other than the one she will serve?  It makes no sense.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 11:11:55 AM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Their are  Doms who dont want to train a sub/slave for various reasons


If a Dom is too lazy (or has other reasons) to train a sub, he shouldn't have one.  How can you train a sub for another Dom?  Do you have a meeting and learn what he likes/dislikes?  Why would a sub want to be trained by a Dom other than the one she will serve?  It makes no sense.



Their are many reasons, as i said Doms dont want  or cant train their subs. People try so hard in this lifestyle to put justifcation and validation on what  someone else does. Why? This is an open lifestyle. People shouldnt need to justify why they do something or why they need/ want someone else to train their sub/slave.  Why do you like to be spanked( we will assume you do for this  purpose)? it makes no sense to me, spanking hurts, i cant find justifcation in it. It doesnt have to make sense to me..... that my dear is your own thing and its not for me to judge why you do or dont do it , like or dislike it.

The last sub i trained for someone else was  their wife. they( the couple) decided to explore bdsm.  he was naturally dom and she was naturally sub.  they had been exploring it for a few months when he got deployed.  They had a strong relationship and were open with each other.  They decided, it would be nice, if when he got back she was a "trained" slave, ready for him to make up the time they lost while he was away. They asked for my help  and after many conversations with both of them to get an idea of  what "they was shooting for" i engaged in training her.  I was finished with training by time he got his first major leave in which he could come home. I was at this point already out of the picture. i accomplished what i was asked to. He followed the progress through communications with me and her during the training and when he  came home  on leave she was ready and waiting . He is not new to being deployed and coming home from such an "adventure". He said afterwords that coming home that time was the most amazing  thing he can remember.  He did nothing but play with his new slave the entire leave, barely leaving the house.

That is the route they chose. Some take that route for various reasons, others( often those who are more possessive)  could never or would never do that.  It depends alot on the situation and the persons involved. Everyone is different, has different opinions and views. To each his/her own.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 11:41:45 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		How do you fit all that into a five pound bag?
 
John

< Message edited by Rover -- 12/3/2006 11:53:00 AM >

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 12:40:17 PM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

How do you fit all that into a five pound bag?
 
John

??

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 12:56:02 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul

I have only been under One until His death in 2000.....if we had private get togethers or within a club..He would permit me to being used by anOther....
what could anyone suggest that is the main attraction on online searching for a Master?


I'd say convenience and the ability to interact with others who are not local to you is the main attraction of any partner finding on the net. If you're in Peoria and your dream is in Oshkosh, never the twain shall meet but by the net or twisted fate at an airport or something. More and more these days, people are just making it happen rather than waiting for dumb luck to allow them to hit the lottery.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 1:48:19 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavetrainer2007

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

How do you fit all that into a five pound bag?
 
John

??


Evidently it's necessary to point out the obvious to you.  Your reply was ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag.
 
And while I'm at it, a few more obvious things to ponder:
 
1.  The first order of business for many Dominants is to "untrain" a previously owned submissive, or perhaps one trained by the likes of you who think you have any clue what will be expected of them.
 
2.  Your "qualifications" as a trainer are rather long on reading and the internet, and short on your real time experience including workshops, demos, groups, etc. where you might learn things of value from verified sources.  Are there any real time organizations that may vouch for your active participation and demonstrated expertise?
 
It's a personal challenge not to publicly speak my mind about what I think about you and your training.  I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but suffice to say that I don't believe you know whether it's raining or Thursday.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 2:20:49 PM   
desoutter


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline 		In my case... its a simple - "its the only thing I have time for..."
I can never get out - I am always working - If I do go I get... 90% of the time I get a phone call and get back to work...

Online - I can make time - a couple hours here... a couple of hours there and thats about it...
I wouldnt say its sexy... but it fills the void until I can have some time to get out and meet and greet...
desoutter

_____________________________

When the going gets weird... the weird turn pro.

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 5:25:46 PM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavetrainer2007

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

How do you fit all that into a five pound bag?
 
John

??


Evidently it's necessary to point out the obvious to you.  Your reply was ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag.
 
And while I'm at it, a few more obvious things to ponder:
 
1.  The first order of business for many Dominants is to "untrain" a previously owned submissive, or perhaps one trained by the likes of you who think you have any clue what will be expected of them.
 
2.  Your "qualifications" as a trainer are rather long on reading and the internet, and short on your real time experience including workshops, demos, groups, etc. where you might learn things of value from verified sources.  Are there any real time organizations that may vouch for your active participation and demonstrated expertise?
 
It's a personal challenge not to publicly speak my mind about what I think about you and your training.  I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but suffice to say that I don't believe you know whether it's raining or Thursday.
 
John


LMAO, take your childishness elsewhere.  All your doing is making yourself look bad. Sadly, its people like you that scare off newcomers. You asked questions i gave answers.  You took certain parts of such  answers and tried to use them to discredit me. I cannot help i have more experience in 9 years than you do in your... whatever. Whatever your insecurities are, dont push them off on me.

Furthermore, I dont care if you agree or disagree with me. I dont care if you believe me. Your a nonfactor in my life.  And to be honest you need to "master" yourself a lil more before you go around judging others  and trying to discredit them publicly. IMO STFU and  sit back and learn a lil more before you go  throwing insults around and derailing threads.

1) So you would untrain a sub trained by someone else and then retrain them? Good idea, but your taking my name  way to seriously. I do train but i mainly help girls explore this lifestyle without the need of a commitment to a master/dom. I also dont focus on one area.  I try to stay open and help a girl explore what she wants instead of what i want, since ive explored most things you can think of. Subs dont need to be untrained. amazing things about subs is they are people and something amazing about people is  they tend to adapt to situations. A sub will adapt to a master if her interest  is in that master. She doesnt need to be retrained to switch masters, she just needs to learn what that master expects of her.  Training is for girls who know  nothing of the lifestyle.   If you had to untrain and retrain subs... then tell me why are their so many masters that dont want to train a newcomer? because they dont want to spend all the time involved in  helping a girl explore  this life  and at the end of this find out she really has very little  in common with him interest wise. 

2)I do not  read or  mess with the net near as much as 1/2 the people that are in this lifestyle. If i wanted to compare hours spent  reading or online concerning this  compared to time actually living it in real life. Real life would win with  almost twice as many hours. When i say i been in BDSM 9 years thats 9 years actively from the time i had my first dom/sub relationship. if you want to include  the time i spent looking it up and reading about it before that, that would of started 11 years ago when i stumbled on it in a yahoo  chatroom and started researching it.  You should email me your "qualifications" so we can compare dick size.....

Im new to this board, but luckily im not new to  public boards, flames and idiots trying to throw their balls around. I can see why  the general consenus of new subs is a feeling of being overwhelmed by "Doms"  and  a general feeling by newcomers of rudeness and bitterness. Its people like you that make this lifestyle UNPOPULAR..  You, and your judgemental  attitude,  give  BDSM  a bad rep.

This is a open lifestyle, if you had an ounce of understanding of it, you would know the last thing you do is to judge others in the lifestyle. Yet its the first thing you do.  Instead of offering valid input on the subject of the thread you derail it into  trying to discredit a Dom that is new here. Thank god tomorrow is monday and you have to go back to school with the rest of the kids.

Now, Rover,  im ending this topic in this thread.  It is disrespectful to the  thread starter.  Should you further wish  to throw your balls around and try to prove your a Dom or Master or whatever you consider yourself to be,  you can A) start a new topic addressed to me or B) email me.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: attracting a Master.... - 12/3/2006 5:37:37 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Me thinks the... errr... ummm.... "trainer" doth protest too much.  That's quite a bit of rhetoric just to say that you have no references from any real time organization vouching for your stated active participation and demonstrated expertise as a trainer.
 
I see that you're new to these boards, and perhaps you're unaccustomed to interacting with real time folks.  You'll quickly learn that many people here are not impressed by unverified online resumes.  It's darned difficult to lie to people who know better.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)
Profile   Post #: 20
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