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RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/3/2006 8:00:35 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Generally speaking, I try to let others humiliate me.

That's my giving spirit for ya.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/3/2006 8:28:48 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Generally speaking, I try to let others humiliate me.


And very good at that you are.  Like I said, a real submissive genius. 

Morrigel - the Internet is always going to be full of annoying people.  Some of them are seriously malicious, or fuckwits, or psychopaths.  You can choose to be angry at those people and take what they say personally, or you can choose to be amused by them.  There are also people on the Internet who are neither malicious nor fuckwitted nor psychopaths, but are obviously out to have fun with the people who are.  Some of them are remarkably good at it, too.  Again, you can either choose to get angry at those people and consequently make yourself a dramatic target for them to have more fun with, or you can have fun playing right back.  Or you can ignore them.  Responding in an offended way is basically taking the bait and indicating that you wanna play, and if you aren't playing, then it isn't going to be fun. 

I like to play rough and I don't mind taking rough shots in return. It's all just plain funny to me.  I'm not offended at being called a fucking illiterate troll, I'm laughing my ass off.  Other people may certainly have different reactions however, and I can't say I blame them if they're not a fan of Internet bloodsports. 

Hope this is helpful to you,

Naja

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/3/2006 8:32:20 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Other people may certainly have different reactions however, and I can't say I blame them if they're not a fan of Internet bloodsports. 


Which ties in again with taking the bait.

Really, there's only two ways to deal with fuckwits like me.  Ignore or go along with.  Anything else eill entertain me.  As will the going along with.  So if you want to piss me off, ignore me...

...so I can have fun making comments which you choose not to repond to.

See?  It's win/win for me.

Yours,


benji

PS:  Ask Michael about playing into my shit.

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 8:09:02 AM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
Morrigel - the Internet is always going to be full of annoying people.  You can choose to be angry at those people and take what they say personally, or you can choose to be amused by them.


In this particular case, I've chosen to be largely indifferent, and then briefly amused--many thanks to you on that score. 

Not sure why everyone feels the need to lecture me on "anger", really.  I find the posting behavior of certain people irritating, I will admit, but this is almost always because they are destroying a thread in which I had some personal interest, and derailing any kind of intelligent or helpful discussion.  Often they do this by posting personally malicious off-topic bashing of the OP, his/her personal kink, life philosophy, or ideas.  Not even a funny or positive threadjack--just nasty, stupid, meaningless shit. 

Thus far, the only defense offered for this behavior appears to be "Well, this boy is popular around here" or "That guy has been here a long time" or "everyone is entitled to post".  And I'm sorry, but I still find this crap rude and obnoxious, and these excuses don't really cut it with me.  I am interested in bondage and female supremacy, I will freely admit:  I am not interested in forum soap opera bs or woman-bashing or personally malicious baiting.  And I am never going to be thrilled when threads that should be interesting or informative are transformed, by the anti-Midas touch of certain posters, into rivers of purest shit.

Regardless, the fact that I find thread-jacking behavior irritating does not mean I am "angry" or that I take this behavior "personally".  As soon as the behavior stops--so does my irritation.  I do not hold grudges, I do not keep score, and I do not suffer from the delusion that I "know" anyone who posts here, nor that I have any reason to dislike them as a person.

Someone wants to post something that entertains or enlightens me?  Wonderful.  I don't care what they posted last week, so long as they have posted a good thread or a worthwhile response today.  I have no time or energy for anything BUT forgiveness, on that score.

*shrug*  Whatever.  I joined a site called "Collarme.com" because I am interested in BDSM.  If I was looking for a forum where every potentially interesting thread was automatically destined to be jacked by one person who is far more interested in himself than in BDSM, I would have gone looking for a site called "The Good Dog Benji Show".

Yes, I can easily ignore one or two posts, especially if they are directed solely at me, and for the most part I do ignore anyone who is content to keep his blather to a minimum.  It is far more difficult to ignore the people, however, when they are seriously degrading the whole environment, by destroying one of the few threads posted this week which actually held any interest for me. 

--M

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 10:47:12 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel
In this particular case, I've chosen to be largely indifferent, and then briefly amused--many thanks to you on that score. 


Surely you should be thanking Lord Master God-Emperor Blackthorn Nightdragon Bloodclaw Deathsmack, tenth level elvish ninja assassin warrior of Gor.  ;)

quote:

Not sure why everyone feels the need to lecture me on "anger", really. 


Is it possible that if this happens consistently and it surprises you, you may be sending an impression with your words that isn't accurate?  The Internet can be a tough place to guess what somebody is really thinking or feeling, so misunderstandings and mistaken impressions abound.

quote:

It is far more difficult to ignore the people, however, when they are seriously degrading the whole environment, by destroying one of the few threads posted this week which actually held any interest for me.


I am not sure that a thread with an OP topic that people really want to talk about *can* be effectively derailed by any degree of silliness.  If intelligent and interested posters like yourself are continuing to discuss the topic, responses will continue.  If you're interested and want to talk about it, please do talk.  People will hear and respond to quality input.

The silliness I bring to threads is usually at least somewhat intended for the purposes of enlightenment or example.  But sometimes it's just for fun.  I hope that isn't a terrible crime.  This community would be a poorer place, I think, if fun was not allowed in our midst. We can certainly talk about serious things, and that's good.  But if we are always taking ourselves too seriously, that is perhaps not so good.  Along that path lies many pitfalls.  If you see things that way, and I generally do, it doesn't seem so bad to have a naughty little dog barking at you.  It remains an excellent reminder of  where those pitfalls are.

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 10:52:25 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Have you ever imagined what people might think of YOUR posts?  Forums on the internet don't exist to please you.  They exist for people to state their views, and as long as they don't violate the terms of service, they're gonna stay.  You still don't seem to have grasped the concept of "if you don't like what people say, ignore them and move on."

Because, you know, I'm positive there are people doing that to you right this second.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

Thus far, the only defense offered for this behavior appears to be "Well, this boy is popular around here" or "That guy has been here a long time" or "everyone is entitled to post".  And I'm sorry, but I still find this crap rude and obnoxious, and these excuses don't really cut it with me.  I am interested in bondage and female supremacy, I will freely admit:  I am not interested in forum soap opera bs or woman-bashing or personally malicious baiting.  And I am never going to be thrilled when threads that should be interesting or informative are transformed, by the anti-Midas touch of certain posters, into rivers of purest shit.

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 11:27:26 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

No, the real fun would be in the present you find when you do rip it off.....


Benji I thought we sent you to the groomer to get your butt shaved? Shouldn't be anything there now

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 11:32:11 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Because, you know, I'm positive there are people doing that to you right this second.


Didn't I tell you to quit reading my mind

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 1:37:07 PM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hey now…….give it no mind….just go on about yourself and ignore him with an indifference bordering repugnance.  He’s sarcastic is all.  He employs it as a way of belittle and invalidating a person and their thoughts to make himself feel superior.  It’s an immature way of communicating sure and will only diminish when he finds more intelligent ways of communicating, being funny and not needing to prove his superiority.   True he don’t usually stick with objective  sarcasm………but there aint no teaching the self-made guys who are in love with their creator.  You just got to roll on.   Trust in me. I know.

I myself having been a guy who could never see a belt without wanting to hit below it.  I. have been guilty of sarcasm on occasion and it kept people from trusting me especially on boards where your gonna get a ton of different opinions on topics and much of the time there’s emotion involved in the conversation.  I was a cyber bully.   I used to think sarcasm was great fun. My pals used to tell me  it gets irritating when every other thing they say is thrown back at them. I've been  known by many people who at first glance seem to think I would be likable  then as soon as they open up to me or offer anything personal I would immediately turn on the sarcasm.  I reeked of insecurity.  Its a security issue, also a dominance thing where I used to feel all high and superior when I was able to put myself above someone else.  I used sarcasm as a self defense mechanism because frankly I didn’t know how to share, plus I liked feeling all superior and all.  I employed it mostly to show my dominance and “intelligence” because really I felt inferior.  Today I know  I could  never be sarcastic talking about someone else without belittling them......I used to just try to insult others so I would look smart  and used sarcasm to try and  rob others confidence and feel all  better about myself. It is true that intelligent people use sarcasm but so don’t shitwits like me who aint intelligent but the truly intelligent ones are those who make it actually funny and nonobjective. It has to be used at the right time in the right place with the right people otherwise it is offensive.  All in all……………….. when you see it used for his own personal gain and boost of confidence…….. you have to laugh at his delusions of adequacy.  And pass to the others.

< Message edited by Denny17 -- 12/4/2006 1:38:43 PM >

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 2:05:29 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Denny17

Hey now…….give it no mind….just go on about yourself and ignore him with an indifference bordering repugnance.  He’s sarcastic is all.  He employs it as a way of belittle and invalidating a person and their thoughts to make himself feel superior.  It’s an immature way of communicating sure and will only diminish when he finds more intelligent ways of communicating, being funny and not needing to prove his superiority.   True he don’t usually stick with objective  sarcasm………but there aint no teaching the self-made guys who are in love with their creator.  You just got to roll on.   Trust in me. I know.

I myself having been a guy who could never see a belt without wanting to hit below it.  I. have been guilty of sarcasm on occasion and it kept people from trusting me especially on boards where your gonna get a ton of different opinions on topics and much of the time there’s emotion involved in the conversation.  I was a cyber bully.   I used to think sarcasm was great fun. My pals used to tell me  it gets irritating when every other thing they say is thrown back at them. I've been  known by many people who at first glance seem to think I would be likable  then as soon as they open up to me or offer anything personal I would immediately turn on the sarcasm.  I reeked of insecurity.  Its a security issue, also a dominance thing where I used to feel all high and superior when I was able to put myself above someone else.  I used sarcasm as a self defense mechanism because frankly I didn’t know how to share, plus I liked feeling all superior and all.  I employed it mostly to show my dominance and “intelligence” because really I felt inferior.  Today I know  I could  never be sarcastic talking about someone else without belittling them......I used to just try to insult others so I would look smart  and used sarcasm to try and  rob others confidence and feel all  better about myself. It is true that intelligent people use sarcasm but so don’t shitwits like me who aint intelligent but the truly intelligent ones are those who make it actually funny and nonobjective. It has to be used at the right time in the right place with the right people otherwise it is offensive.  All in all……………….. when you see it used for his own personal gain and boost of confidence…….. you have to laugh at his delusions of adequacy.  And pass to the others.


Is this what my grandma used to mean by "pot calling the kettle black" ?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Denny17)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 2:10:39 PM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		here come out the cheerleaders.

Say if  YOU ever become a mother, can I get one of them PUPPIES?


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 2:14:14 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Denny17

here come out the cheerleaders.

Say if  YOU ever become a mother, can I get one of them PUPPIES?




Probably not. I am very picky about who gets to take home my furry babies.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Denny17)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 2:21:12 PM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		And you have every right to

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 3:18:30 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
Surely you should be thanking Lord Master God-Emperor Blackthorn Nightdragon Bloodclaw Deathsmack, tenth level elvish ninja assassin warrior of Gor.  ;)


Please stop!  Otherwise I will be overcome by the innate juicy submissivity of my female nature, and embarrass us both. 

quote:

I am not sure that a thread with an OP topic that people really want to talk about *can* be effectively derailed by any degree of silliness.


I disagree, for a variety of reasons.  I would say any thread, no matter how interesting, can be easily derailed if one of the posters (especially the OP!) is successfully dragged off-topic by malicious baiting and personal attacks.

As to why people are often more interested in conflict than in calm discussion?  I have some theories as to why this may be, most of which are related to the fact that humans are descended from very social primates.  In chimpanzee or gorilla society, paying attention when conflict erupts in your immediate vicinity is a deep-deated survival instinct.  You need to stay alert to the social dynamic and be prepared to act quickly--"innocent bystanders" are often hurt or even killed when a fight breaks out in the group.

quote:

The silliness I bring to threads is usually at least somewhat intended for the purposes of enlightenment or example.  But sometimes it's just for fun.  I hope that isn't a terrible crime. 


Fun is not a crime, and silliness has its place, but personal malice is neither fun nor silly, and dragging around forum baggage is very much about personal malice and petty grudges...not real humor.

quote:

 This community would be a poorer place, I think, if fun was not allowed in our midst. We can certainly talk about serious things, and that's good.  But if we are always taking ourselves too seriously, that is perhaps not so good.


I can't dispute this in general, but I would question whether "bondage" is a "serious thing"--I consider it a fun thing.    I would also dispute whether "forum baggage" is a "fun thing", and the result of NOT taking things seriously--or whether it is in fact an ugly and stupid thing, and the result of taking things far TOO seriously.

--M

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 4:11:25 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel
Please stop!  Otherwise I will be overcome by the innate juicy submissivity of my female nature, and embarrass us both. 


Irresistible, ain't he? 


quote:

I would say any thread, no matter how interesting, can be easily derailed if one of the posters (especially the OP!) is successfully dragged off-topic by malicious baiting and personal attacks.


It probably doesn't improve the discussion quality so much when that happens, no.  But if people still want to talk about the original subject, they will continue to do so.  If an intelligent and articulate poster such as yourself tosses out some more opinions, ideas and information on the thread, people will respond.  There's a lot you can do to get a thread back on track if you want to take the time. 


quote:

As to why people are often more interested in conflict than in calm discussion?  I have some theories as to why this may be, most of which are related to the fact that humans are descended from very social primates.  In chimpanzee or gorilla society, paying attention when conflict erupts in your immediate vicinity is a deep-deated survival instinct.  You need to stay alert to the social dynamic and be prepared to act quickly--"innocent bystanders" are often hurt or even killed when a fight breaks out in the group.


True for primates, true for any organism really.  Shit happens, either pay attention or pay Darwin's dues.


quote:

I can't dispute this in general, but I would question whether "bondage" is a "serious thing"--I consider it a fun thing.   


Well, there's always a few folks in our community who seem to have some difficulty laughing at themselves.  It's always nice to help these people, purely in the spirit of charitable altruism of course. 

I
quote:

would also dispute whether "forum baggage" is a "fun thing", and the result of NOT taking things seriously--or whether it is in fact an ugly and stupid thing, and the result of taking things far TOO seriously.


Yeah, it can go too far and get ugly.  I don't think that's what Benji is doing however. 

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 4:34:07 PM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Yeah, it can go too far and get ugly.  I don't think that's what Benji is doing however. 



quote:

ORIGINAL: Denny17

Hey now…….give it no mind….just go on about yourself and ignore him with an indifference bordering repugnance.  He’s sarcastic is all.  He employs it as a way of belittle and invalidating a person and their thoughts to make himself feel superior.  It’s an immature way of communicating sure and will only diminish when he finds more intelligent ways of communicating, being funny and not needing to prove his superiority.   True he don’t usually stick with objective  sarcasm………but there aint no teaching the self-made guys who are in love with their creator.  You just got to roll on.   Trust in me. I know.

I myself having been a guy who could never see a belt without wanting to hit below it.  I. have been guilty of sarcasm on occasion and it kept people from trusting me especially on boards where your gonna get a ton of different opinions on topics and much of the time there’s emotion involved in the conversation.  I was a cyber bully.   I used to think sarcasm was great fun. My pals used to tell me  it gets irritating when every other thing they say is thrown back at them. I've been  known by many people who at first glance seem to think I would be likable  then as soon as they open up to me or offer anything personal I would immediately turn on the sarcasm.  I reeked of insecurity.  Its a security issue, also a dominance thing where I used to feel all high and superior when I was able to put myself above someone else.  I used sarcasm as a self defense mechanism because frankly I didn’t know how to share, plus I liked feeling all superior and all.  I employed it mostly to show my dominance and “intelligence” because really I felt inferior.  Today I know  I could  never be sarcastic talking about someone else without belittling them......I used to just try to insult others so I would look smart  and used sarcasm to try and  rob others confidence and feel all  better about myself. It is true that intelligent people use sarcasm but so don’t shitwits like me who aint intelligent but the truly intelligent ones are those who make it actually funny and nonobjective. It has to be used at the right time in the right place with the right people otherwise it is offensive.  All in all……………….. when you see it used for his own personal gain and boost of confidence…….. you have to laugh at his delusions of adequacy.  And pass to the others.




Do you believe this?  "Yeah, it can go too far and get ugly.  I don't think that's what Benji is doing however. "


A direct quote from the  him............. 

"While I agree with your statement "if it works, etc," it obviously does not work.

She's getting frustrated, he's not happy, and, if you knew her history that she shows here, she's got some other  dramatic issues as well.

Usually, we find out what's true and we call her BS.

Yours,
benji"

........In your case, obviously common sense aint so common............ If this above statement isn’t  offensive to the OP than I dont know what the hell is? Is this not being ugly and disrespectful? THat post is nothing but populist crap that isn't particularly witty, helpful  or insightful... nor has anything to  do with the thread.   




(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 4:35:56 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Yeah, it can go too far and get ugly.  I don't think that's what Benji is doing however. 


It seemed that way to me.  His needling of the OP about her personal life was off-topic and I thought it was uncalled-for.  Not only that, but then he proceeded to drag her off into a two-page natter-fest.

I am sure the response to this will be "she and everyone else who finds this annoying should ignore him" but let's face it--this was her thread, and she was doing EXACTLY what people around here always want an OP to do.  She was paying attention to posters who responded to her query. 

Anyway, I am sorry to discuss this at such length.  I was simply trying to explain my point of view.  Obviously nothing I say will convince anyone that peeing on the carpet is a bad thing, if they find it cute, and with this much positive reinforcement, it would be a total waste of time to try and change anything!  I'll just accept the fact that most people around here like pee on their shoes a lot more than I do, and change the subject.    

--M

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 4:44:28 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		have a look at hogtied..they have some exapmles of extreme rope work...mmmm .... you may get some ideas about possies to tie him up in...oh.. and dont forget a good gag..

sunny

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 5:57:06 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Yeah, it can go too far and get ugly.  I don't think that's what Benji is doing however. 


It seemed that way to me.  His needling of the OP about her personal life was off-topic and I thought it was uncalled-for. 

If you follow her other posts, it wouldn't be all that surprising how this played out.  It's almost always drama, accompanied with an inability to accept the solicited advice others give. 

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: help......my sub thinks he's Houdini - 12/4/2006 6:55:52 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Yeah, it can go too far and get ugly.  I don't think that's what Benji is doing however. 


It seemed that way to me.  His needling of the OP about her personal life was off-topic and I thought it was uncalled-for. 

If you follow her other posts, it wouldn't be all that surprising how this played out.  It's almost always drama, accompanied with an inability to accept the solicited advice others give. 


LOL Didn't you get the memo? We've all been doing it wrong and she's the savior with a whip to rescue us. Too bad we have to fill in the blanks so she know's exactly how we're doing it wrong.

He he new gift idea...BDSM Mad Lib's
Slave (male name) has a fetish of (noun). Mistress (female name) can't control his (verb).  

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 160
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