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RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/3/2006 9:35:20 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

[[/quote]

This is my personal take on it also. The physical is just window dressing to me. I don't need the toybag, the costumes, the dramatic scening. I need that deep mental/emotional connection or everything else is worthess.

[/quote]

This is exactly how I feel. I don't mind the "special effects", but I never want to feel like I must have them.
My relationship is not a performance!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 41

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/3/2006 11:09:48 PM

Fawne

Posts: 462
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha
For one, mental bondage or domination/submission if you want, takes time and effort to achieve. Plus you have to trust your partner (as a sub) to be willing to give up that part of your control. If you hand that part over to someone to fast or too easily there is a good chance your going to have problems. It is very easy to destroy a persons self esteem, self worth and self image.

Mental submission is not impossible to find as you stated. But you can't expect it immediately. You have to work for it and prove yourself worthy of it. unless you like geting involved with people that don't care enough about themselves to make sure that that part of themselves is being handed over to someone capable of handling the responsibility that comes with it.

I for one, am a submissive that is willing to hand over mental control to my Dominant, but only at such time that we both feel that we are ready for that step in the relationship. And really, i doubt it will be something that is scheduled out and completely planned. It will be something that happens over time and will be a completely natural progession.

Dear akisha:
Thanks for stating that so well. TY also for saving my brain from the tedium of such concise eloquence ;) <giggle>

I would like to be safe in mental domination.
I can understand the frustration of dominants who seek this deep compact.

I wish for them and beg:
Please, it takes time, patience, clarity. Consideration of each as individuals.

I can see the beauty. I have felt the warm rays and the glimmer of pure power.

Patience and a touch of kindness - for all.

Masters: please lay the mindfucks* aside until a submissive knows you are sincere.
Please don't be too quick to judge if the road is rocky as our earth/reality shifts by your hand.
Forgive us if we stumble.

Lend us a hand? You will gain a devoted slave.

Please. Please. Please.
Respectfully, fawne

* the big ones at least.

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 42

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/3/2006 11:44:49 PM

Lady Alaria

Posts: 160
Joined: 10/16/2006
Status: offline

Hey Syn,
Great cut to the chase on that one. All the _submission_ is, indeed, a mental event.

I would seriously disagree that all the physical aspects are just window dressing though. I'm a very physical person. For me, the physical experience is sometimes a rival for the submission. Of course, on a certain level, all experience is mental, so the entire question is moot. But, as a sub(when I sub), the 'window dressings', the pain, the bondage, the sensations...sometimes they _are_ the point. As a Domme(or Top), sometimes the joy of the technique, and the effect it causes can be the main thrill. Sometimes.

We're talking BDSM here. Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. The D/s is on no level superior, more important or more 'real' than the other pieces. Except for some people. I like D/s, don't get me wrong. But it ain't the only game on the shelf. Sometimes I just want to fly. Sometimes I just want to send someone on a journey. No D/s, no 24/7 TPE, just a pure, intense, and wondrous sensual experience. And that is real, and true. And it is BDSM.

Irritated by the TPE elitism here.

Added: I got a handcuff icon! I have joy!

< Message edited by Lady Alaria -- 12/3/2006 11:49:08 PM >

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 43

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 1:15:43 AM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

(Damn Damn Damn, I dont know how to do the quote thingy)

Miz Mia,
The topic is wonderful and right on it. I doubt, for my own personal self, that being "owned" could happen without the mental aspects of domination.

Akisha,
You stated that perfectly. It is not something that should happen unnaturally without alot of trust. The results there are not pretty.

And Fawne,
That was truly eloquent..

Thank you

love and light
Lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to Fawne)

Post #: 44

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 2:51:07 AM

Lady Alaria

Posts: 160
Joined: 10/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

OMG, Lady Alaria, I beg your forgiveness! I thought I was getting carried away with the responses.
I just figured out how to edit the quotes, did ya notice that?
I want to be like you when I grow up! I always enjoy your insight and your wit!
LOL

By the by, thank you for the acknowledgment MzMia

I wouldn't call myself grown up tho.

I still have to say though, I disagree with and feel slightly offended by your original proposal.

Fulltime 24/7 D/s is good, but it's not the only Real thing going. And plenty of real committed relationships have an element of D/s that is not 24/7. I could just as easily say that those who don't have heavy SM(yummy) in their relationships aren't into Real bdsm. And be just as incorrect. Different strokes, different folks, y'know?

As to it being harder to find...well, that's a personal experience. And sure, there are plenty of guys out there looking for one-night stand kinky sex... there are plenty of guys out there looking for one-night stand sex period. Doesn't mean deep D/s, or those who want it, are hard to find. Now making it happen...that's hard work.

< Message edited by Lady Alaria -- 12/4/2006 2:54:20 AM >

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 45

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 3:02:50 AM

Lady Alaria

Posts: 160
Joined: 10/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee
Miz Mia,
The topic is wonderful and right on it. I doubt, for my own personal self, that being "owned" could happen without the mental aspects of domination.

I'm truly baffled. I thought being 'owned' was a mental aspect of domination(which, as Synergy mentioned, is all mental anyway). The concept of being 'owned' is entirely mental, no physical aspect to it. The physical stuff is things you and your owner enjoy as well as the mental effect of ownership.

quote:

love and light
Lee

Wow, I thought I was the only one who ever used that phrase. Used to tag all my personal emails with it, considered it a personal touch.

Love and Light,

Alaria

(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 46

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 4:04:21 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

Comparing physical domination and mental domination is like comparing apples and oranges. They are two seperate entities ,in my opinion, that can compliment one another nicely. (or not, that is entirely up to those involved in any given dynamic)
I've been in a relationship where the other person considered himself dominant, but when it came down to it, his dominance only emerged when it came time to do wonderfully wicked things to my body. As much as i enjoyed said wicked deeds, it was not enough to fulfill me. On the same token, i would find a D/s relationship that is void of physical domination equally unfulfilling.

(in reply to Lady Alaria)

Post #: 47

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 2:44:26 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Ugghhh I am still trying to figure out how to use the message boards.
I agree spankmepink, thay are seperate entities, and it is up to the individuals involved!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 12/4/2006 2:50:37 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Lady Alaria)

Post #: 48

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 2:45:55 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I appreciate all the replies, I posted this question to see what others in this community think about this.
Thank you!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 12/4/2006 2:51:41 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 49

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 2:47:45 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Hello Lady Alaria,
Not sure how I offended you, but I am NOT talking about fulltime 24/7 D/s, that is not possible for many people, including myself.
I am talking about mental domination. I can mentally dominate you if you live 6 hours away, that is my point here. There is a big
difference between mental and physical domination. Also, I did state that I am heavily into D/s not S/m, like you said to each his/her own.
I do agree, making any type of relationship work, is hard!!!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 12/4/2006 2:48:52 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 50

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 2:59:49 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I am talking about mental domination. I can mentally dominate you if you live 6 hours away, that is my point here. There is a big
difference between mental and physical domination. Also, I did state that I am heavily into D/s not S/m, like you said to each his/her own.

I agree, mental Domination is very possible at a distance. Sir lives 7 hours away. There are couples even further apart, for example Knight and his girl kyra, and probably many more that would say they are very much in a mental dominant/sub relationship. By not living together there are more decisions the submissive will have to make on thier own, but they know how their respective Dominant would want them to do so. It's not so hard really.

Though i do also totally agree spankmepink who stated that she would find a relationship that was only mental and not physical or vice versa, to be very unfulfilling. I wouldn't be happy with a onesided dynamic either.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 51

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 8:32:21 PM

LongingInMD

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

Its basically the only important question, in my opinion. Anything short of total mental domination is not worthy of serious discussion.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 52

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 9:06:35 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

quote:

I am talking about mental domination. I can mentally dominate you if you live 6 hours away, that is my point here. There is a big
difference between mental and physical domination. Also, I did state that I am heavily into D/s not S/m, like you said to each his/her own.

I agree, mental Domination is very possible at a distance. Sir lives 7 hours away. There are couples even further apart, for example Knight and his girl kyra, and probably many more that would say they are very much in a mental dominant/sub relationship. By not living together there are more decisions the submissive will have to make on thier own, but they know how their respective Dominant would want them to do so. It's not so hard really.

Though i do also totally agree spankmepink who stated that she would find a relationship that was only mental and not physical or vice versa, to be very unfulfilling. I wouldn't be happy with a onesided dynamic either.

Wonderfully said akisha! You hit the nail on the head! Bravo and congratulations on having such a deep connection.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 53

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 9:08:22 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LongingInMD

Its basically the only important question, in my opinion. Anything short of total mental domination is not worthy of serious discussion.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 12/4/2006 9:09:11 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LongingInMD)

Post #: 54

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/4/2006 9:40:44 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lady Alaria

Hey Syn,
Great cut to the chase on that one. All the _submission_ is, indeed, a mental event.

I would seriously disagree that all the physical aspects are just window dressing though. I'm a very physical person. For me, the physical experience is sometimes a rival for the submission. Of course, on a certain level, all experience is mental, so the entire question is moot. But, as a sub(when I sub), the 'window dressings', the pain, the bondage, the sensations...sometimes they _are_ the point. As a Domme(or Top), sometimes the joy of the technique, and the effect it causes can be the main thrill. Sometimes.

We're talking BDSM here. Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. The D/s is on no level superior, more important or more 'real' than the other pieces. Except for some people. I like D/s, don't get me wrong. But it ain't the only game on the shelf. Sometimes I just want to fly. Sometimes I just want to send someone on a journey. No D/s, no 24/7 TPE, just a pure, intense, and wondrous sensual experience. And that is real, and true. And it is BDSM.

Irritated by the TPE elitism here.

Added: I got a handcuff icon! I have joy!

We are on the same page, Lady Alaria.

The journey you are using your handcuffs and chains and the like are the methods you use to send the bottom / submissive on a mental journey, aka flight.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Lady Alaria)

Post #: 55

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/5/2006 4:18:41 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Thank you everyone for the responses! If you re-read my original post, you will see I clearly stated that I was
asking this question, especially to hear from people in LONG TERM relationships and that I am not heavily into S/m.
I think there is room in this lifestyle for EVERYONE, I am not putting anyone down here. Clearly, we all are
different here and I don't think anyone's kink is better than anyone else's.
We all seek different things.

Happy Holidays!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 56

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/5/2006 5:03:26 AM

felicitousdove

Posts: 45
Joined: 8/7/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Mz Mia;

I am reminded of a quote i once heard:
"If you capture the mind, the rest will follow."

_____________________________

"I have often heard the phrse: ‘Sub/slaves are a reflection of their Dominants.’ So if our Dominants are strong, assertive, decisive, fully capable human beings, why should we as slaves be any different?"
~felicitous dove {MH}

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 57

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/5/2006 8:35:02 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: felicitousdove

Mz Mia;

I am reminded of a quote i once heard:
"If you capture the mind, the rest will follow."

My thoughts exactly, if I don't capture your mind, you are not really mine.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to felicitousdove)

Post #: 58

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/7/2006 7:00:10 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

I seek both mental and physical domination.
I would need both for the relationship to last.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 59

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination - 12/7/2006 8:47:57 PM

obedientslave1

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/4/2006
Status: offline

Mia, I MzMia, they are different, just as you stated. However, a true male submissive understands his role is to serve his Mistress and does not constantly need all the trappings (fetish gear, whips, etc.) to serve. When you submit completely, your only focus is serving and obeying your mistress, regardless or location or time. It means to devote yourself to serving your Mistress needs on a daily basis. Be it washing clothes, running errands, or kneeling and listening attentively at her knees while she talks about her day.

Also, I don’t feel mental domination is as tough as some believe. A true male sub is wired to submit to a female. With the right chemistry, it does not take long submit completely. At least, that has been my experience.
mike

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 60

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