RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination

RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (Full Version)

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MzMia -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/7/2006 8:53:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: obedientslave1 Mia, I MzMia, they are different, just as you stated. However, a true male submissive understands his role is to serve his Mistress and does not constantly need all the trappings (fetish gear, whips, etc.) to serve. When you submit completely, your only focus is serving and obeying your mistress, regardless or location or time. It means to devote yourself to serving your Mistress needs on a daily basis. Be it washing clothes, running errands, or kneeling and listening attentively at her knees while she talks about her day. Also, I don’t feel mental domination is as tough as some believe. A true male sub is wired to submit to a female. With the right chemistry, it does not take long submit completely. At least, that has been my experience. mike :::swooning:: is it okay for a Domina to swoon? [:D]

patina -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/7/2006 10:13:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Physical submission? So easy to find. LOL Mental submission? Almost impossible to find. I'm not sure that is completely true. I can't submit full physically unless i have a deep connection so maybe not quite so easy as you'd think. I agree with the above statement, unless I have given him my will to control I can not nor will not give him my body to control. Once I have given him my will and my body he then has all of me my mind, and my heart. I think the body and mind are a lot like the 2 halves of a whole you can not have one without the other. Even though we are seperated by miles I think of him constantly. I wonder if I am doing something that will displease him, I wonder if he would like what I just posted. I think this or that post, is a good subject we could discuss later. He is always in my mind affecting me in many ways. I feel that is good I am a much better person for it. I respect his beliefs and wish to change my ways of thinking to match his in order to please him more. This does not mean I will become a mindless robot imitating him, I will just rearrange some of my ideas to better suit his style which I happen to like. Some of his belief I do not care for however; I acknowledge they are his and so will do as he says but, still I will state that is not my way, his word is final though in all things. As someone here kinda put it, he is my Lord but not the God. I hope I was able to state this properly for all to understand. I have edited it several times. Patina

MzMia -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/16/2006 1:06:42 PM)
I agree, it is wonderful to have BOTH!

enigmaslave -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/26/2006 12:29:24 PM)
I find this thread very intriguing I hope to hear more opinions.

thetammyjo -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/26/2006 12:57:07 PM)
For me, a long-term Ds or Ms dynamic is based on the mutual desire of both people to continue it, an agreed upon authority heirarchy, realistic expectations, allowance for the individual to continue to be an individual, and most importantly the knowledge and committment to make it happen. After seven years Fox knows me pretty well but I still have the responsiblity to make some decisions, to enforce my protocols, and to make my desires clear. Expecting him to be a mindreader is unrealistic. His expecting me to dictate his every move is also unrealistic and unnecessary after a lot of training and lots of focus on our dynamic and my household. It works when both people feel like they get more back than they give. That isn't just in Ds or Ms but in any relationship I think.

Grlwithboy -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/26/2006 1:14:10 PM)
I could be with the most thoughtful, demuring, submissive, and slavelike person. And if he/she didn't salivate over the whip or the paddle -- it wouldn't work out. Call me greedy, need both.

thetammyjo -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/26/2006 1:30:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy I could be with the most thoughtful, demuring, submissive, and slavelike person. And if he/she didn't salivate over the whip or the paddle -- it wouldn't work out. Call me greedy, need both. That's not greedy, that's what you need. There are certainly people out there who can and do offer both qualities. For me, a good slave is more about authority and attitude because a good slave I can do my SM with regardless of how he might personally feel about it -- he is my slave afterall so I can do as I wish (minding my ethics and moral code always). A masochist can salivate over every peice of equipment I own and speak eloquantly about it but not have a damned interest in serving; those aren't a good match for me at all. Good relationships work when you each get what is important to you both.

WhiteRadiance -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/26/2006 5:22:02 PM)
To me what is most important is the mental aspect of the relationship. I can play with anyone, (although I don't) and I enjoy playing, but it is not the most important thing to me. Playing, however, has worth in that it is fun and light- hearted and can be relaxing whereas, in some instances, a long term relationship is very draining to the mental energy. There are a lot of different opinions. The trick is to find someone who thinks as you do- and who is not simply telling you what you want to hear in order to have some fun. I want to be adored for my entire self- not just for how I look, or what I wear, say and do. Anyone can dress up in fetish attire, hold a whip and spout phrases like "lick my shoes, slave". To many "subs", this is what being dominant is all about. Dressing up is fun, playing is fun, but it is not D/s. (and I know all about dressing up!)[:D] To own his mind.. To permeate his every thought.. seduce his senses.. and make him WANT to please me. This to me is domination. He wakes up thinking of me.. he breathes me, he tastes me.. his every thought is focused upon me. He derives his pleasure by merging it with the pleasure his submission gives me.. he knows what he can do to make me happy, and stops at nothing, until he knows I am absolutely fulfilled. And when I am fulfilled, he is as well. That is my idea of D/s.. but as I said- sometimes playing is damn fun as well. [;)]

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/26/2006 5:26:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia To ME, real submission is MORE mental than physical. Capture the mind and the body will follow. Mental is the cherry on top of the physical For Me mental makes the difference between good and great..between hard and massive. Mental works for Me always...and I love the hedonistic pleasures doubt that not. ;) Ross

MzMia -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/26/2006 5:48:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance To me what is most important is the mental aspect of the relationship. I can play with anyone, (although I don't) and I enjoy playing, but it is not the most important thing to me. Playing, however, has worth in that it is fun and light- hearted and can be relaxing whereas, in some instances, a long term relationship is very draining to the mental energy. There are a lot of different opinions. The trick is to find someone who thinks as you do- and who is not simply telling you what you want to hear in order to have some fun. I want to be adored for my entire self- not just for how I look, or what I wear, say and do. Anyone can dress up in fetish attire, hold a whip and spout phrases like "lick my shoes, slave". To many "subs", this is what being dominant is all about. Dressing up is fun, playing is fun, but it is not D/s. (and I know all about dressing up!)[:D] To own his mind.. To permeate his every thought.. seduce his senses.. and make him WANT to please me. This to me is domination. He wakes up thinking of me.. he breathes me, he tastes me.. his every thought is focused upon me. He derives his pleasure by merging it with the pleasure his submission gives me.. he knows what he can do to make me happy, and stops at nothing, until he knows I am absolutely fulfilled. And when I am fulfilled, he is as well. That is my idea of D/s.. but as I said- sometimes playing is damn fun as well. [;)] This is exactly how I feel, well stated. I want it all.

johnsteed2 -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (12/27/2006 8:11:01 PM)
Just stumbled across this thread. I very much agree with you MzMia. However, for me, it was a journey to discover. My feelings and desires for dominant females go back to early memories as far back as elementary school -- but back then I didn't understand it or know what was going on. I just knew I was attracted to certain girls or things they did; I did't know why. Later in life, when I "discovered" dominant women in the mass media, they were typically dominatrixes in fetish garb wielding a whip and physically dominating males. I was astonished and awestruck to see these amorphous deep desires manifest -- with confirmation that I was not alone. Eventually, I was able to separate the BD or SM acts from the desired result, and realized that it was the DS that had the most interest to me (even though the other things were fun). This really was what "did it" for me -- to be controlled by a female But even then I had more to discover. Eventually, I realized that it was the mental control that really excited me. How a woman could use her intelligence, feminity, sexuality and cunning to wind her way into my mind and completely control me in so many dimensions. Outright control of my actions, control of my orgasms, to have me preoccupied with her, etc. To know that even though I might be a thousand miles away, not only did I think of her, but I obeyed her even though I might want to do otherwise. A complete mind-f*ck if you will. And then, I further realized that what was even more exciting was not only a woman being in control, but 1) the fact that she had managed to take control and 2) that she enjoyed it. That blows me away.

stoneyc -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (2/5/2007 11:54:15 PM)
Dear MzMia Both elements fuel a deeper connection and fire. We all sepak of ourselves in the following terms of "mind and body". For me the connection on all planes works far better than an association based on just one element. My best stoney

WalterRego -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (2/6/2007 5:10:28 AM)
The concept is certainly correct, that mental domination is superior, more fulfilling etc to both sides of the slash. But I don't see that there is a real dichotomy here because there is no way to demonstrate that mental control or submission without some physical acts or activities. For some it will be shown by a sub performing services, or becoming physically excited by the sight or words of the Dominant; for others it may be by the sub's submission to the traditional (or non-traditional) activities we all associate with BDSM. Physical acts, whether traditional scene play or service or activities which the sub doesn't like but does for you any way are in that sense a convenient marker or reef point to show the level of a Dominant's mental control and the sub's submission. How would you know that you are in his thoughts, constantly whereever he goes without some physical manifestation of it? So aren't you just picking the type of manifestation which appeals to you?

CreativeDominant -> RE: Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination (2/6/2007 12:05:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WalterRego The concept is certainly correct, that mental domination is superior, more fulfilling etc to both sides of the slash. But I don't see that there is a real dichotomy here because there is no way to demonstrate that mental control or submission without some physical acts or activities. For some it will be shown by a sub performing services, or becoming physically excited by the sight or words of the Dominant; for others it may be by the sub's submission to the traditional (or non-traditional) activities we all associate with BDSM. Physical acts, whether traditional scene play or service or activities which the sub doesn't like but does for you any way are in that sense a convenient marker or reef point to show the level of a Dominant's mental control and the sub's submission. How would you know that you are in his thoughts, constantly whereever he goes without some physical manifestation of it? So aren't you just picking the type of manifestation which appeals to you? An interesting perspective, Walter. I deeply enjoy the mental aspects of domination and submission. As you note, the best way of discerning whether or not I am getting through mentally to a submissive is through some physical expression by her. Do I dominate her thoughts enough so that she quits spending money on unnecessary things? The physical action of not spending that money will be what shows me. Do I dominate her thoughts enough so that she speaks in a respectful manner at all times and treats others with an evenhanded manner? Again, her speech and her tone...physical actions...will show me. These are physical acts of submission that show the mental submission to my mental domination. As has been stated in other threads, many people can play...or bottom...to others. However, to submit physically, they state that there must be a connection of sorts. Emotional is often what is spoken of when describing this connection but isn't there also a mental component, even if it is temporary? For many, it is this mental control...no matter how tenuous or temporary...that makes the physical play so appealing. Conversely, it is the physical play that inspires the exploration of the mental pathways and limits of the mental connection. So, while I can admire the idea of being in a submissive's head and concede that this aspect is more important to a long-term D/s relationship, for myself I know that I cannot...do not...want one without the other.

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