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DecadentGoddess -> RE: Why are financial fetishes not accepted here? (12/5/2006 2:27:30 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
For me, the problem is a little different. Personally, if people want to pay money as a type of domination, that's great for them. I really don't care. But let me kind of explain how it's been happening here, at least from my perspective.
Many, and I mean MANY times, a woman has written me out of the blue, saying she was quite interested in something I wrote either in my profile or on the message boards here. I get a lot of that, so that's always a cool thing. Every now and then, a woman will indicate a personal interest in me during initial conversations. And that sounds great.
Then, after back and forths that go on for a week or so, I start to get the "I'm into financial domination, so we need to establish a payment schedule before we can continue" vibe. In some cases, it happens after the first back and forth communication. Other times, it happens as the FIRST communication she sends me. But the times that bother me more than anything are the ones where we actually appear to be establishing a real bond between us through mutal back and forth communication. Then, it turns into the "financial fetish."
To me, this is where the line blurs and the rationalization for the original condemnation seems to be obvious. Yes, we can talk about how people in the best case scenario should know better, and that no one is making anyone pay anything, but what actually ends up happening in these circumstances is that people take advantage of submissives who are trying so hard to make a real world connection, that once they break down their guard, they go forth and do what would have normally been caught in the initial guard (before she wore him down by making him feel there was something real and special there).
I get these contacts ALL THE TIME, and I'll let you in on a little secret: Even though I've been around the block and few times, and even though I have a massive amount of knowledge about how this sort of thing works, almost every time I find myself thinking to myself: "Might this really be worth it?" This is right before my common sense kicks in and I regretably delete all such contacts from that person. But that's what they're playing on. They're breaking us down to the point of where we are vulnerable enough to make such a stupid move, and they're very good at it, because they showcase themselves as EXACTLY what we've always been searching for.
This is why I think the owners of this site made the decisions they did about this. And I don't have a problem with it a bit because what the OP is using as an argument is that ONE person is being honest, which allows the MANY people who are not to benefit from lack of any controls whatsoever.
I completely understand your point of view here. But this then leads me to believe that it's not truly a desire/fetish/kink you possess and want to act upon. But what about those who do?
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