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julietsierra -> RE: Use or Making love (1/13/2007 4:33:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha
I am not really sure how I want to write this, it's just coming from thoughts in my head, so please excuse if they are jumbled.
As a sub/slave do you find yourself being used sexually more than being made love to? I guess I would define this in the most practical terms, but I am sure we all probably still differ to a degree in our meaning for either one.
Do you not expect that type of thing anymore (making love) and know that your use is only for his pleasure? Did you ever expect it at all? Do find full sexual satisfaction in just knowing that he has pleasure (every time)?
Akasha
There is a line in the book "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" that says "Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you." What follows that quote, I can never remember verbatim, but goes something like this: "They will remain in your life until you have each learned all you can from them."
To me, use is kind of the same way. All of us, for better or for worse, uses each other. Some of us use with nothing more than the use foremost in our minds. Some of us use in love, because we love, as a way of loving. And regardless of how we use each other, we do so because we are living and learning from each other every single moment and day.
Use and making love are not mutually exclusive of each other. If used out of love, isn't that making love - regardless of how that day's interaction went? If the pretense is love, but the reality is either hatred or no feelings at all, isn't that simple use?
As a slave, if my Master directs me to give myself to someone, I have no feelings for that person one way or the other. He has no feelings for me. It's use - pure and simple. But here's the thing. I'm using him as much as he's using me.
As a slave, if my Master is only focused on himself that day and whether I get any enjoyment out of it or not is besides the point. I still know that he cares for me and even though he's "using" me, it is still a love-making moment because he feels the freedom to act in that manner toward me. He knows that I'm not going anywhere, and that I am freely, without coercion or anything like that, available and enthusiastic in my acceptance of his needs, wants and desires, and ultimately, accepting of HIM - exactly the way he is.
And to me, that's love-making at its finest.
If you're talking about all that tender hearts and flowers stuff, well, to me, that is what I call "soap opera sex. It's interesting and can be wonderfully sweet, but most of the time, it leaves me in the fog that always seems to precede those moments on the soap operas - hence the term "soap opera sex."
I really prefer our brand of making love - even if other people might call it "use."
juliet
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