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Manners - 2/17/2005 9:12:51 AM

match2u

Posts: 131
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

in observing the conversation here on the board and also my experience i have with people exchanging notes, i would like to post some points - smile -

... it seems like the world is full of people never learned or may refused to practise good manners taught in kindergarten....

- do as you say you will
your word, typed or spoken is valuable until you make it worthless
there is no need for pretenders, posers and thats far beyond the point to say No. this is
a right to use freely

- do not let you bully by others
none is the sub/ slave, Master/Mistress/Dom, switch - whatever as long this is not given
none can take it or assume without permission
if some say otherwise - they are wrong, wrong, wrong.....

- give an explanation
just to end a conversation by refusing, avoiding isn't fair at all.
if the conversation will not lead to anything - say so! tell the truth - if you say nothing
the other person may think she/he has done something wrong

- follow up
a simple thank you, no thanks, to busy, no interest - whatever gives us the impression
all is fine and at least you are not staying in hospital and try to survive - smile -

- do not forget "shit happens"
sometimes things going wrong - in case they do - tell the truth

- its nothing wrong to change your mind
do we need a permission to change our mind? no....
if happen - let the other know ( oh we come back to the point tell the truth)

- make your position, your state clear
its not always easy, especially people have their own imagination and way to decode
language, but be sure yes means yes and no means no. in building trust and earning
respect its necessary. if there is no answer yet - there is no answer...

- try to think of the other side
how would you feel if you were in her/his shoes? do not to others as you would have
them do unto you. thats simple

... sorry, but it was a need for me to point that out - smile -

all comments are welcome

petra

< Message edited by ModeratorThree -- 2/19/2005 8:34:26 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Manners - 2/17/2005 9:24:03 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: match2u

how would you feel if you were in her/his shoes? do not to others as you would have
them do unto you. thats simple

Unless you're a sadist or masochist...you shouldn't do to them what you want to do yourself.

(in reply to match2u)

Post #: 2

RE: Manners - 2/17/2005 10:11:23 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

Makes good sense to me.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to match2u)

Post #: 3

RE: Manners - 2/17/2005 10:17:53 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

Something I usually tell people new to the lifestyle, is that everything you need to know here, you learned in the sandbox when you were five years old.

Don't take toys that aren't yours.

Don't play too rough (obviously 'too rough' depends on your perspective)

Don't play with strangers

Be friendly

Don't play with the smelly kid

(etc etc)

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 4

RE: Manners - 2/17/2005 10:36:54 AM

match2u

Posts: 131
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Unless you're a sadist or masochist...you shouldn't do to them what you want to do yourself

also i tend to a kind of machosism - i am glad when especially in communication manners shows up and btw i am also happy if the Dom/Master/Mistress is skilled and at least get a clue how that would may feel and what He/She is doing.

i am also asking myself - how You wanna earn respect if You are not willing to give.
for me - its a two way street, far beyond the fact that positions defined....

petra

< Message edited by ModeratorThree -- 2/19/2005 8:34:58 PM >

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 5

RE: Manners - 2/17/2005 10:49:38 AM

match2u

Posts: 131
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

and by the way Lily,

i appreciate Your comments a lot - smile -

hug

petra

< Message edited by ModeratorThree -- 2/19/2005 8:35:15 PM >

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 6

RE: Manners - 2/17/2005 10:59:17 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

Don't play with strangers

But strangers are fun and have yummy candy :) I don't advocate people playing with strangers, but I do it regularly and it's fun.

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 7

RE: Manners - 2/17/2005 11:02:31 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: match2u

also i tend to a kind of machosism - i am glad when especially in communication manners shows up and btw i am also happy if the Dom/Master/Mistress is skilled and at least get a clue how that would may feel and what He/She is doing.

I was being facetious. I don't want a masochist to start beating me up just because they want to do unto me what they would have done unto themselves!

quote:

i am also asking myself - how You wanna earn respect if You are not willing to give.
for me - its a two way street, far beyond the fact that positions defined....

I give respect automatically, makes my life a lot easier. But I agree, and in my profile I state this clearly "rudeness is not a sign of dominance"

(in reply to match2u)

Post #: 8

RE: Manners - 2/17/2005 3:54:34 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

I've been asked before "Why do you have to be so mean?" I replyed back "Why do I have to be so nice?"

Attachment (1)

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to match2u)

Post #: 9

RE: Manners - 2/18/2005 2:34:37 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

I sometimes run with scissors. :-( *smacks own wrist*

What you point out are common manners that are no longer so common. I find it sad that now someone stands out because they have good manners, rather than the other way around.

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to match2u)

Post #: 10

RE: Manners - 2/18/2005 5:29:01 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
What you point out are common manners that are no longer so common. I find it sad that now someone stands out because they have good manners, rather than the other way around.

Jeezy peezy what dreary world are you all living in? Every group has some dork/asshole/what have you, but most of the places I go, people are generally polite and nice.

I agree that going above and beyond in the etiquette department is rare, not as many have tht fetish as I do, but I just use it to my advantage. Putting expectations on others without clearly telling them what you're expecting and them accepting those expectations always leads to disappointment. They are who they are.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 11

RE: Manners - 2/18/2005 10:53:00 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

But strangers are fun and have yummy candy :) I don't advocate people playing with strangers, but I do it regularly and it's fun.

Heh... well, like all rules, it's up to you to decide what 'stranger' and 'play' mean.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 12

RE: Manners - 2/18/2005 11:26:05 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

If you've mean a person you've never set eyes on, never spoken with and never heard of before that day- that's a stranger to me.

If you mean anything in bdsm except unprotected sex, blood and permanent marks as play- that's what play means to me (with a stranger).

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 13

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