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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/10/2006 3:02:04 AM

wandersalone

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I work on being compassionate to and on myself. I use mindfulness meditation which is partly about becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings, judgements etc but not buying into them. I was sent this link from a mindfulness group I belong to today which may be interesting for some of you - www.self-compassion.org.

I tend to reframe my own experiences in a way that focuses on the positive parts rather than the negative - eg. Tomorrow I go into hospital for surgery for the fourth time this year. Some people I know have made comments like 'you must be frustrated/angry/scared/pissed off etc etc to have to go in for more surgery' or 'why don't you sue the doctors/pharmaceutical companies'. My response to those people has been to ask them what this would achieve - I still will need to have surgery.

I feel that being more aware of the good things in our lives cannot hurt. It's like if you get a new bright yellow volkswagon and you suddenly notice how many other yellow volkswagons there are on the road. Similarly, if you get caught up in thinking about all of the frustrating things in your life, voila - it seems that you experience more of them.

Next time you are in the express line at the supermarket and the person in front of you has 25 tins of cat food which they insist should be classed as only one item AND their 5 different credit cards get declined and you watch all of the other people in the other lines get served, rather than starting to think about evil things to do to the person's cat, and how unfair it is that you are stuck behind this person and how life sucks and it only ever happens to you etc etc, stopand take a deep breath, think about the last time someone made you smile, think about a favourite photo you have, think about how that nagging back pain actually is a good thing because it means you are alive and not dead and finally, remember that you do have choices in your life - you can choose to focus on the negative or you can choose to focus on the positive.

Okay, back to my very simplistic pollyanna-ish life

well wishes to everyone

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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/10/2006 3:56:26 AM

seeksfemslave

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Post above but one said <we cant have miserable people thinking they can change to being happy can we ? > cut and paste doesn't work in edit and Wandersalone upset me by posting when she did.. Oh dear what shall I do.....?

Well...using "can" in the sense < is it possible> then YES
If you interpret it as <is it likely> then NO.
Cya !

Something else occurs to me...in my limited experience some people dont even know WHY they are miserable. They just know that they are ! If they dont know why they are hardly likely to know what to do about it. Hence the possible basis of pessimism.

Commenting on Wandersalone supermarket story one thing I notice is the fact that women seem to wait until everything is packed etc before they realise that they have got to pay for the goods and then as likely as not cant find their purse. If this is a world wide phenomenon then I will be really depressed.

< Message edited by seeksfemslave -- 12/10/2006 4:08:08 AM >

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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/10/2006 4:20:23 AM

gypsygrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I don't know if you were replying to me, luckydog1, or just doing a fast reply, but I agree that the Norman Vincent Pealeish "Power of Positive Thinking" stuff is basically magical thinking. The universe I live in is heliocentric and not ego centric. Things don't revolve around me nor do things respond to my thoughts about them.

It is ironic that science is beginning to measure the effectiveness of prayer. It is also ironic that someone given a placebo will heal because they "think" it so.

I understand your sentiment, but at the same time I do not agree with it, and not everyone in the psychological community does either. Take Carl Jung for instance, and the scarab.

I'm not much of a scientist and certainly don't take the word of science as the last one, but do know a lot about the history and philosophy of science. Just as an aside, do you really mean to imply that you don't believe the earth revolves around the sun? All I was saying with this comment is that I'm convinced that the world exists independant of my own mind, and, in saying this, I'm saying I'm not a philosophical idealist.

The science vs. faith controversey is as old as our current notions of science and, at least since Decartes, scientists have always tried to reconcile their discoveries with their religious committments. Perry Miller has a wonderful historical review of this in his book of essays Errand into the Wilderness. The essay itself is titled "The End of the World" or something like that. For the most part, science itself is, another religion. Feyarabend makes this point in Against Method. He has an anarchic theory of knowledge, and based on my own research into the history of science, particularly child psychology and child development, I have to agree with him.

I'm very much familiar with the placebo effect and use it with my kids all the time. Their very responsive to my little made up potions consisting mostly of baking soda that cures pretty much every little thing that happens to a kid. But, when I do this, they're responding to MY attitude/confidence because they take for granted my authority as a "healer." They're convinced they're gonna die and its only when I step in with my little rituals do they start to feel better. Of course, if I thought they were gonna die, I'd take them to the doctor and I know they're exaggerating the significance of the scrape/ bump/ bruise/ bug bite. Personally, I have my own healing rituals that I practice with myself, but even here, I think they work because I basically don't trust medicine, and have more faith in my body's own healing power than I do the healing power of doctors.

On the psychological community: My therapist is very spiratual. If she were scientifically trained or a licensed psychologist, I'd doubt we'd have much to say to each other. We work well together because we have similar views on things, and she affirms my own spiritual sense of things and thinks in terms of energy and stuff. I suspect that I'm probably less of a scientist than you are in these matters, and more spiritual. In all honesty, I'm not waiting on science to "prove" the power of prayer (which, to me, is simply a form of asking for things, though the act of asking is largely rhetorical and indirect).

In my own life/experience, many times I've asked for something, and its been provided, though the process remains mysterious. I don't really need science to measure it. :)

But, I still think the earth revolves around the sun, and there's limits to my own spiritual powers. I don't expect to recieve anything more than I really need and try to remain humble in the face of the universe. Its not really about me and my thoughts/ attitude/ personal energy.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 12/10/2006 4:22:31 AM >

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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/10/2006 4:47:12 AM

gypsygrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

Interesting. It reminds me of something I read once that people who blame themselves for bad stuff are more likely to overcome it than people who blame circumstance or their environment. Also, some argue that low self esteem is positively related to achievement in educational settings.

I have never heard of this, it would be interesting to see the methodology of this research. It is the opposite of my life experiences.

I don't know if the research has been done. :) But, Christopher Lasch, in his essay, "The Abolution of Shame" in Revolt of the Elites provides a critical account of the idea that "low self-esteem" is a problem that must be cured. One point he makes is that theres little research to support the posited relationship between low self esteem and social problems. Besides being a historian, he's a bit of a polemicist and doesn't really work out his argument or support it with references to scientific studies, but his basic point is that there's nothing wrong with feeling bad about yourself and it's a precondition to self improvement. In my own work as a teacher, my best students are usually mediocre from an academic standpoint, but because they have a basic humility, are very open to the learning process. Very intelligent high achievers aren't nearly so open to learning, though they get better grades. Its a bit of a paradox, I know.

As far as my point about people who tend to blame themselves for bad stuff that happens to them being more likely to overcome it, I think I came accross it when I was reading alot about relationship abuse.

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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/10/2006 4:49:09 AM

SirDiscipliner69

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Sometimes bad things happen to good people. I do however believe in attracting what you sow.

Ross

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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/10/2006 5:21:34 AM

wandersalone

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grins.... sorry that my story about supermarkets gave you cause for concern seeksfemslave! But just think, you can put some of these positive thinking strategies in place next time you are caught behind one of these ladies that does has to rummage way down deep into her handbag to find her wallet and then has to hunt for a card that is not maxxed out .... don't tear your hear out in frustration, just smile and think that without women you would be seeking a fem slave for a long long long time! smiles helpfully

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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/10/2006 2:18:53 PM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I watched this great video on how we can use visualization and positive thinking in order to call what we want into existence. In other words it was about how we are all creators of our universe and everything in our lives, either good or bad. I was wondering what others think of this concept. It was an awesome video, put on by mainstream folks, and I am going to put a link in for it, but be warned.. it does cost $4.95, it was well worth it to me, but others may not want to buy it...

Still the concepts are things that most of us are familiar with, and that major religious systems of the world have touched on. I thought it would make a wonderful discussion, because I think that even atheists would acknowledge that our thoughts have intense power, and that since we are energy, and energy never dies but only changes, that this has some merit when looking at why prayer works, why psychic phenomena exists, and how we create our world.

Negative energy attracts negative things, positive energy attracts positive things... what do you all think?

(the link to the video is www.thesecret.tv )

Hi Julia.....

I'm going to ask you for a big favor...... Can you please send some positive thoughts up to rainy-snowy Southern Oregon?

There's a 5'5 135 lb fine-ass lil' blonde with a diamond in her belly button here in town I've been working on for the last two weeks. I'm making progress......but your positive thoughts would sure be appreciated. ; }

- R

PS - I'd like to watch the video as well as ''loose change'' but there's no wireless or cable in my section of town yet.

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/27/2006 6:20:52 PM

juliaoceania

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For those following this thread I wanted to post a free link to this movie that will be up for a limited time. Perhaps those who did not want to spend money on it can watch it now...

http://www.thesecretstory.com/Watch_The_Secret_Movie_Free.html

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/27/2006 6:24:39 PM >

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Positive Thinking - 12/27/2006 6:22:27 PM

juliaoceania

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repeat post

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/27/2006 6:24:23 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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