RE: 24/7 and financial security

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: 24/7 and financial security

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: 24/7 and financial security

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 6:50:26 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

This is a very good topic, I think. I have learned that (for me) - it's apparently never too late to learn how to handle finances, long-term. I guess having someone take over that part of my life would be okay...but I'd really have to trust them. For many years, I simply took for granted the other person knew what they were doing (which isn't altogether true. Partly, but apparently not altogether). Anyway, I've discovered that I would have done things a bit differently, but for years, I preferred to not get involved, and he also wanted it to be "his area"). It's not a fiasco, or emergency, or even bad news, but - I kind of wish now that I hadn't been so un-curious, even if it is boring stuff. Knowledge can be powerful.

Anway, I think having a "Plan B" is an excellent idea. I'll be back later to check on this thread, because I think it's a topic that seems to come up a lot on these message boards (maybe for good reason), and I am curious about what others think.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/10/2006 7:08:44 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SusanofO)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 7:18:36 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I fail to see how a slave/sub could serve if they were working full time.

Women, even those who aren't sub/slaves go to work 5 days a week and continue to serve their families. Men do the same thing. Working outside the home does not mean that individuals can't care for those in the home and the home itself. It's a matter of prioritizing.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 7:31:03 AM

FemmeOwner

Posts: 120
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

Why not? I work full-time, what in the world would my 24/7 slave be doing while I was working? I don't think my home needs 8 hours cleaning every day. Once it's clean, it only requires minimal effort to keep up, which my slave could easily do after returning from work. I require My slave to contribute half of the household budget (he lives here too!). If he can do that with a part-time job, that's all well and good. But basically, we both work, and when we're both done with work, he serves. Where's the problem? Many career women do as much taking care of their homes and family, and with much less appreciation than My slave gets.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash
I fail to see how a slave/sub could serve if they were working full time.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 7:34:05 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

I fail to see how a slave/sub could serve if they were working full time.

Women, even those who aren't sub/slaves go to work 5 days a week and continue to serve their families. Men do the same thing. Working outside the home does not mean that individuals can't care for those in the home and the home itself. It's a matter of prioritizing.

That's kinda what I was thinking. Unless of course sub/slaves are less able/require more time, to do what all working women everywhere do.....

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 8:17:45 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs
I had someone ask me in an email if I could do 24/7 if he made sure I had nothing to worry about. Now this may just be me, and granted I never see myself as a 24/7 slave, but how many submissives out there go into such a living situation. I am talking not working during the day or earning a living.
How many consider the fact that somewhere down the line the Dominant/Master may not be there. That all of a sudden they may have to find a job after years of not working.

sighs,
The problem you have with the concept is that you are going at from the wrong perspective. You, and most, focus on planning for failure. To be successful and make 24/7 "work", first - it needs not to be "work"; second you need to plan for success.

Scooter hit on one of the most important aspects. Can you be a slave, 24/7 or not, and work? I think the best way to answer the question is from a Master's perspective. To answer the question requires another question. Would you allow your slave to serve more than one Master and accept the status as the lesser Master? And you are the lessor. Serving the 'master employer' requires attendance on specific days at specific times. That 'master' supersedes your authority. You can rationalize that mentally you are the Master, but practically you take second position. It's not a question or indication of 'better' or 'best' lifestyle arrangement its simply pragmatically true.

We get the most disagreement on this issue. What about career? What about personal value and self worth obtained by working outside the home? Even thoughts about being 'mentally challenged' or stimulated. Well they all should come from being a 24/7 slave. If they don't, maybe you aren't. There is no penalty for that. You aren't any less of a person or submissive. It just means the financial capitalist environment influences you developed growing up are too deep to excise. Or it means your sense of value and self worth doesn't come from serving as a slave and requires outside validation.

Back to planning for success. Trust is key, but more key is honesty, honesty that starts before the relationship. Self assessment honesty. Is 24/7 what you really want? Are you ready for the responsibly it entails? Do you really know all the responsibilities it entails? These questions must be faced regardless of which side of the flogger you desire. Then the process of finding that partner. It's not a simple 'plug' looking for a simple wall outlet. The factors of a successful relationship are better described by the old style multi-pinned plug from a computer peripheral to a proper port.

A 24/7 relationship is not just lifestyle. It requires clothes on more often than it requires clothes off. You talk about things non-lifestyle relationship. Compatibility must be broad. Fundamentally the lifestyle dynamic should be a full time, ever present undercurrent, but addressing non lifestyle issues happens daily.

Financial considerations are least important. You live as you can afford as a couple. Possession and ownership are only factors when focusing or planning for failure. While you live up to the responsibilities of the relationship they take care of themselves. Now if you want to identify the reason for failure, living up to responsibly is second only to misrepresentation or fraud.

The bottom line is, if you have doubt, don't enter into such a relationship. That doubt is self doubt as much as doubt of the other person.

But you can "live up to your responsibility" and still fail by dieing. A Master's death requires some pre-determination paperwork. A marriage certificate works, so does a will. Death of the slave is another matter. Finding another beth is not a process I want to have to go through. Which is why, she does not have permission to die before me.

(in reply to whisperedsighs)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 11:12:47 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

I had someone ask me in an email if I could do 24/7 if he made sure I had nothing to worry about. Now this may just be me, and granted I never see myself as a 24/7 slave, but how many submissives out there go into such a living situation. I am talking not working during the day or earning a living.

How many consider the fact that somewhere down the line the Dominant/Master may not be there. That all of a sudden they may have to find a job after years of not working.

that is not something i ever consider because it does not apply in my case. my Master has arranged for me to be "willed" to another Master in the case of his passing on before me. now if that Master wished me to work outside the home or earn a living in some way, obviously i would do so. but i will never be a free person again, i will die a slave.

(in reply to whisperedsighs)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 1:19:02 PM

behindmirrors

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

I find this to be a fascinating topic.

A different situation to consider, though:
Both my Dom and I work and live in a 24/7 type of relationship- I work in 3 part-time jobs arranged around my full-time school schedule (including one that is a completely self-run business, and my most lucrative), and he full time in a pretty boring, run of the mill kind of job (as he puts it, not me). Now, I am the one with the higher expenses between us, and I am the submissive. I have higher bills for health insurance, I'm paying for my college education without student loans, and more expenses for travel to-and-from jobs, etc. With this taken into account, I am also the one more invested into my long-term financial future, though I can afford less to put towards it right now than I would like- he does not have a savings on which to retire yet. He's also the older one between us. It worries me.

Our concern is not so much my ability to work outside the home and still be of service to him- in fact, he sees my working as being a great service to him. The plan for us is, since I will be the one between us who has finished college education first, and enjoy working more, that in the long-term, I will also be the one to support our household and living expenses. In this way, I am serving him by offering the type of lifestyle that he most desires, and in which he is happiest- being able to concentrate on his passions for art and music with my full support until one of these becomes a lucrative business for him. I will still carry full responsibilities within the home as he has assigned them, but instead of having my entire day dedicated to his service in the home, I will have part of that day dedicated to service for the home and for him through outside work. In this, it is not me, the submissive, that needs to worry as much about giving up the working life and the security that it entails for so many, but him, the Dominant.

In the end, it has less to do with the type of service I offer in this position, but more the services that I provide being the ones that he desires. Should one thing be better than another? I don't believe so- each relationship being individual, I believe that the types of service required in each relationship should be tailored to that as well. I look forward to getting the job that will allow me to support him in the comfort he desires, and I look forward to managing our finances as he has already required me to do now, only on a different scale. I always (even now) tell him what resources financially we have, and he chooses how to best make use of them. We take into account what I need, what he needs, what needs we share that require our money, and then he decides how to take care of it. Some may say, as a submissive, I have too much power over this aspect of our relationship, but for us it is simply that I have a better understanding of these things, so I do it out of service to him to enrich his own life and mine in turn.

Just something else to throw out there into the mix- I just noticed that the conversation was skewing towards it always being the Dominant party working and the submissive party not, so I thought a different perspective might be interesting to consider as well.

behindmirrors.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 3:13:43 PM

timeoutgurlie

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

I intend to always be self sufficient when all is said and done.

That said, the goal is to do work solely from home and only part time whenever possible. That's a long ways away as I'm still very young and wouldn't be satisfied with being home all the time while he's ot working as the primary provider. But it is our goal for us to both retire quite early and have our ideal 24/7 M/s relationship.

In our own ways, we're doing that now as well, and the same still stands, I'm fully capable of supporting myself and if he left me tomorrow I could easily maintain our home, pay my own bills, etc.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 6:01:26 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

But you can "live up to your responsibility" and still fail by dieing. A Master's death requires some pre-determination paperwork. A marriage certificate works, so does a will. Death of the slave is another matter. Finding another beth is not a process I want to have to go through. Which is why, she does not have permission to die before me.

Lol, Scooter had to promise me he would not die before me before i would accept a collar.

If he does i am going to dig him up and torture him!

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 6:09:09 PM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

I fail to see how a slave/sub could serve if they were working full time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Women, even those who aren't sub/slaves go to work 5 days a week and continue to serve their families. Men do the same thing. Working outside the home does not mean that individuals can't care for those in the home and the home itself. It's a matter of prioritizing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeOwner

Why not? I work full-time, what in the world would my 24/7 slave be doing while I was working? I don't think my home needs 8 hours cleaning every day. Once it's clean, it only requires minimal effort to keep up, which my slave could easily do after returning from work. I require My slave to contribute half of the household budget (he lives here too!). If he can do that with a part-time job, that's all well and good. But basically, we both work, and when we're both done with work, he serves. Where's the problem? Many career women do as much taking care of their homes and family, and with much less appreciation than My slave gets.

Good points for your particular situations, but as I said, situations alter cases. In our case a Dominant (one of us) is always home, so there is no down time and there is no way to prioritize, they are either home or they are not. As Mercnbeth so elequently pointed out, if they are working, they are serving another Master/Mistress during those hours of the day.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 6:17:56 PM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

I had someone ask me in an email if I could do 24/7 if he made sure I had nothing to worry about. Now this may just be me, and granted I never see myself as a 24/7 slave, but how many submissives out there go into such a living situation. I am talking not working during the day or earning a living.

How many consider the fact that somewhere down the line the Dominant/Master may not be there. That all of a sudden they may have to find a job after years of not working.

my feeling about it is my Master would not only take care of my present needs, but make certain that, in the event something happened to Him and He could no longer provide for me, that i would continue to be provided for - i.e. a will or life insurance policy. In this day and age it's just too much to expect someone to rely on another with no thought for the future. i think if a Dom/Master wants/expects a sub/slave to devote herself solely to His wishes, that He needs to be sure she is provided for.

Personally, although i will always contribute to O/our finances to some degree, i don't have the kind of energy anymore to work all day and then come home and serve my Master. Work takes time, energy, attention and can also produce alot of stress which is also energy draining. i don't know about you, but after a full day at work i don't really feel like catering to anyone else. i guess i come from the school of "if You can't pay for it, You don't own it" and that applies to a slave as well.

< Message edited by slavemaia -- 12/10/2006 6:31:22 PM >

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to whisperedsighs)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: 24/7 and financial security - 12/10/2006 7:03:24 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

...but how many submissives out there go into such a living situation. I am talking not working during the day or earning a living.

How many consider the fact that somewhere down the line the Dominant/Master may not be there. That all of a sudden they may have to find a job after years of not working...

this slave does not earn an income and lives in Master’s house. Not that she couldn’t earn an income or live outside of Master’s house, but then, she wouldn’t be His slave.

Life doesn’t come with a whole lot of guarantees. Financial Security is many things to many people but it has not been this slave’s experience that it is the be-all end-all guarantor of success, or even maintaining one’s existence in certain circumstances. One might start out married and have a couple of kids and all financially set only to have the world come crashing down all around when, on the way to work one morning, one finds out work isn’t there anymore due to some assholes flying planes into a couple of buildings.

this slave has lived and served in neighborhoods of all manner of financial status, not a one of them that lived on the block was given a guarantee that they, their loved ones or their homes or their jobs would even be there the next day by virtue of $$$ or earning potential.

Perhaps it has something to do with the way this slave was raised. It was a very different environment from what this slave hears from others about their experience. The parents were old enough to be grandparents and as far back as this slave can remember, both of the folks were retired from going to work and owed no-one for their home or acreage. if we would have needed food we would grow it(no irrigation necessary) collect it or shoot it, dress it and cook it and gave thanks for it at every meal. the rural community was heavily into bartering with one another for services and goods. as this slave and the siblings got older and were allowed to interact with the townies and had to walk down paved streets, they took up jobs, not because they had to to survive, but because they wanted to...us younguns had outgrown the enormous playground they set up for us. Besides, dad had been getting calls for years begging him to return to the industry as a private consultant and he could name his terms and price…(sidenote: he never earned a college degree) and mom tired of her only social interaction being rugrats for so many years and went back to bossing adults around and getting paid hugely for it while we were at school.

personally, this slave gave up that rural fuck-the-outside world-live-off-my-land-in-harmony-with-my-mile-away-neighbors“security” and devoted her life to someone not for what He could financially provide for this slave, but for the opportunity to serve Him, if only for a short while, but hopefully for a long time.