RE: appreciation in lifestyle

RE: appreciation in lifestyle (Full Version)

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Kalira -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 5:26:05 AM)
Personally, I don't see a difference in appreciation from vanilla relationships to other. I grew up in a house that the women were expected to wait on the men, we did not receive pat's on the back daily for a job well done. The same now, I do not receive words or acts of appreciation for what I do for Master; nor would I expect any from him. I do what I do because I want to and because it makes me happy.

Celeste43 -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 7:05:40 AM)
An online friend, you don't even know what time zone she's in, so how could you be deliberately interrupting her routine. Some so-called masters are just clueless. I don't think a vanilla relationship is per se less deep than a D/s one. It would be for me, but that's because I'm wired for submission. It isn't for vanillas who would interpret a D/s relationship as abusive, being subject to a control freak, or being unable to order their own lives. In terms of thanks and such, it's present in my relationship but that's because I went looking for it. Being submissive personality wise in a vanilla marriage made me feel unappreciated. He got used to taking while giving nothing back. Here we laid out ground rules at the start to see if we were compatible. We discussed anger management, affection and affirmations etc in order to assertain that we could have our needs met. What we didn't do is act on chemistry the way we did in our early 20's without focusing on all the other stuff we now know is vital to a long term relationship.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 7:24:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalira Personally, I don't see a difference in appreciation from vanilla relationships to other. . The same now, I do not receive words or acts of appreciation for what I do for Master; nor would I expect any from him. I do what I do because I want to and because it makes me happy. I agree with this. I think it just depends on the Master's personality if he is the type to give out thank you's. I do not expect one , sometimes I get one. Doesn't really make a difference with me. I am there for him and that is what gives me happiness and pleasure.

babyblues -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 7:35:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: patina I was talking to a sub on a different site, we were interrupted by her Master asking about dinner. i must admit, this line raised my eyebrows as well....interrupted? i'm sure you didn't intend to, but you imply that he inconvenienced you and your friend, when, in my opinion, it was he that was inconvenienced, in having to come and ask about dinner....good try with the crockpot story btw, but anything cooked in a crockpot for 18+ hours would turn to mush....if i served mush for dinner, i would most definitely be punished.... as for your question, no, i have not seen more thankfullness, but then i am a slave and don't look for it, or need it....it seems to me that more D/s relationships have this kind of back and forth to them as opposed to M/s....as for myself, i prefer the company of a true Master to that of a sometime Dominant.... p.s. you will NEVER find me online when He is at home.....

dawntreader -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 8:07:23 AM)
The dynamics of the invidual relationship will dictate the use of appreciatives.For example. i am motivated by knowing i have done a good job. However when i am praised for something, it is done in a way that enhances my submissiveness such as being told i am a good girl or being reminded of a punishment in the past of something not well done or even a narrow miss :-) Because He can see this affect on me, He has no problems showing appreciation - it enhances His dominence and my desire to please. quote: ORIGINAL: patina Are there any feelings toward this observation or am I off base, is there little difference between them. Or does the lifestyle seem to have more appreciation among its partners. Any comments on this or have I totally confused everyone. Patina

darksdesire -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 8:18:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: babyblues quote: ORIGINAL: patina I was talking to a sub on a different site, we were interrupted by her Master asking about dinner. i must admit, this line raised my eyebrows as well....interrupted? I'm sure you didn't intend to, but you imply that he inconvenienced you and your friend, when, in my opinion, it was he that was inconvenienced, in having to come and ask about dinner....good try with the crockpot story btw, but anything cooked in a crockpot for 18+ hours would turn to mush....if i served mush for dinner, i would most definitely be punished.... as for your question, no, i have not seen more thankfullness, but then i am a slave and don't look for it, or need it....it seems to me that more D/s relationships have this kind of back and forth to them as opposed to M/s....as for myself, i prefer the company of a true Master to that of a sometime Dominant.... p.s. you will NEVER find me online when He is at home..... Wait. If one bothers to read the post all the way through, it would be noted that she was only noticing the manner in which this Master helps out and appreciates what his slave is doing for him. There was absolutely no criticism of the Master, no offense regarding "interruption", she was merely observing kindness on his part and wondering about it. Nowhere did she indicate any sense of being "inconvenienced". Her first part of the post was merely setting up the basis for her question. Geeze. I simply can't find anything to criticize in her original question. It was an honest post, and very respectful toward the friend's Master.

darksdesire -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 8:25:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FrankAr Greetings patina, First...I replied to your first post, so my guidance was from that....in your second post did you go into more details....is this not right...and thus with MORE details I can give a better explanation upon matters.....is this not right. The time was 11.40.....so it was not really dinner time...because I usually go about 6 or 7 for dinner. Now without the nitpicking...ok...a slave is usually owned....now being owned she has a Master, but you informed me with some knowledge that she has a Dom,a Sir, and thus she should be classed as a sub, in my mind. Now not being to indulgant, I can actually give a better advice with this extra information about the scanario, would you not think so. Giving information about the whole scenario would not have people giving misleading guidance upon matters, let us be realistic. If a person can only get 1/2 knowledge about matters, then what type of reply can they really give. What ever time you speak with your friend, and if it is that late, then go for it, you both are adults. Why ask questions thought upon matters that you would recieve 100 different answers? Would you not? If Dom/Sirs help out, then why not. if they dont', well could be that type of person and the other knew about it before getting into the relationship. If Masters help out, then so be it, some don't, some do, it does depend upon the situation, and the people. You really can't decide without ALL facts now, can you....grins and chuckles. Like when I inform people when they take snippets out of my replies...I let them know to reply to the whole message and not what suits them. If you give the full version, then a reply is given upon the full facts...and not little snippets...simple. Even the softest voice is heard over crowds, and not yelling by one. So yelling at me, does not make any difference, it just makes you smaller in my eyes, simple. Be well and take care. Master Frank Ar. You have still failed to understand the point of the post. She makes her question quite clear, and it has nothing to with anything you've mentioned. She was setting up the story as a way of demonstrating the basis for her question: Is appreciation expressed more in a D/s relationship than in a vanilla one? In otherwords, the Master was appreciating his slave and she was pointing that out. I don't know why, but this is driving me nuts.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 9:53:26 AM)
I have had it once in a vanilla one and now in my current M/s one. Master is always good about things like that. When I make him dinner, he tells me how good it is, or he is very pleased when I surprise him with homemade cookies. He tells me how good the house looks, or how hard he can tell I worked that day..little things like that. I think for me though, those are the ones that matter most. I don't know anyone that doesn't like to feel appreciated. I try to always do the same for him, and I hope I do him justice in that area. Kasha

sophia37 -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 11:51:15 AM)
lolol Shoot. I dont know what Master Frank Ar is, But I know what Master Frank Ar are not. He Ar not the one to take guidance from for sure!

Sabella -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 12:52:20 PM)
I'm not a slave (nor do I play one on TV) But I have been asked while online earlier in the day "what are you planning for dinner" which is a very logical question especially if he has other plans for around that time (IE what preparations do you need to make that are going to be time consuming?) or perhaps even "skip whatever you were gonna make, we're going out!". I'm not sure if his consideration and courtesy towards me has anything to do with the lifestyle that we are in - he is simply a gentlemanly type person with everyone and it's a basic part of his personality that I do love very much. Sorry no help at all. Frank? shakes head You're making yourself quite small, don't turn sideways we won't see you. Or better yet, do.

LordODiscipline -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 3:15:11 PM)
*Responding to the entire posting rather than a snippet:* *In the words of a very eloquent friend of mine -* quote: Huh? ~J quote: ORIGINAL: FrankAr Greetings patina, First...I replied to your first post, so my guidance was from that....in your second post did you go into more details....is this not right...and thus with MORE details I can give a better explanation upon matters.....is this not right. The time was 11.40.....so it was not really dinner time...because I usually go about 6 or 7 for dinner. Now without the nitpicking...ok...a slave is usually owned....now being owned she has a Master, but you informed me with some knowledge that she has a Dom,a Sir, and thus she should be classed as a sub, in my mind. Now not being to indulgant, I can actually give a better advice with this extra information about the scanario, would you not think so. Giving information about the whole scenario would not have people giving misleading guidance upon matters, let us be realistic. If a person can only get 1/2 knowledge about matters, then what type of reply can they really give. What ever time you speak with your friend, and if it is that late, then go for it, you both are adults. Why ask questions thought upon matters that you would recieve 100 different answers? Would you not? If Dom/Sirs help out, then why not. if they dont', well could be that type of person and the other knew about it before getting into the relationship. If Masters help out, then so be it, some don't, some do, it does depend upon the situation, and the people. You really can't decide without ALL facts now, can you....grins and chuckles. Like when I inform people when they take snippets out of my replies...I let them know to reply to the whole message and not what suits them. If you give the full version, then a reply is given upon the full facts...and not little snippets...simple. Even the softest voice is heard over crowds, and not yelling by one. So yelling at me, does not make any difference, it just makes you smaller in my eyes, simple. Be well and take care. Master Frank Ar.

swtnsparkling -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 3:32:48 PM)
quote: darksdesire Wait. If one bothers to read the post all the way through, it would be noted that she was only noticing the manner in which this Master helps out and appreciates what his slave is doing for him. There was absolutely no criticism of the Master, no offense regarding "interruption", she was merely observing kindness on his part and wondering about it. Nowhere did she indicate any sense of being "inconvenienced". I read and understood the OP clearly -what confused me was some of the replies given.I was wondering huh myself- did they read the same post I did.

Squeakers -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/11/2006 5:57:36 PM)
quote: Now how pathetic of you to even think of that line OMG---he didn't type this right? This thread made me sooooo appreciate my Master. Patina you really did nothing wrong.

MmakeMme -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/12/2006 5:09:28 AM)
~chuckle~ I have been on this side of Master Frank's ire and it is not a pleasant thing. In fact, it is infuriating. However, I must point out that He sees things His own way and it's ok for Him to do so. He answered the question as He saw fit. Patina did nothing wrong, her friend did nothing wrong, her friend's Sir did nothing wrong, and Master Frank did nothing wrong. Belief in a concept is all a matter of degree - there's black, there's white, and all the colors in between. It takes extremes on both sides to make a middle. Master Frank, I look forward to doing battle with you in the future. ~grinning~

Bearlee -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/12/2006 5:29:44 AM)
For some reason the phrase "He marches to the tune of a different drummer" comes to mind when I read Frank's stuff... To the question at hand, I too would like to believe folks who practice D/s or M/s are more appreciative and generous with their praise. I think, however, it’s an individual thing; whether in this lifestyle or not. bearlee

darksdesire -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/12/2006 6:23:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MmakeMme ~chuckle~ I have been on this side of Master Frank's ire and it is not a pleasant thing. In fact, it is infuriating. However, I must point out that He sees things His own way and it's ok for Him to do so. He answered the question as He saw fit. Patina did nothing wrong, her friend did nothing wrong, her friend's Sir did nothing wrong, and Master Frank did nothing wrong. Belief in a concept is all a matter of degree - there's black, there's white, and all the colors in between. It takes extremes on both sides to make a middle. Master Frank, I look forward to doing battle with you in the future. ~grinning~ Yes, except he answered a question she never asked. It was so off topic and off the wall as to leave one befuddled. Its as if she asked what color is the sky, and he answers with how to make a meatloaf.

MmakeMme -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/12/2006 7:16:08 AM)
Master Frank was doing what he does. He did not answer the question directly but chose to point out what spoke to Him regarding the post, and I am sure He knows that He invites battle by posting the way He posts. We all do it from time to time, however - sometimes it just feels damned ~good~ to fight. Mind you, I am not saying I agree with Him. I do, however, assert that His view is as welcome as any other. We can all learn from each other.

darksdesire -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/12/2006 7:34:14 AM)
"all God's chilren got a voice in the choir" I'm all for free speech...he's indeed as welcome as any other person, no matter how objectionable, offensive or illiterate their posts are... And now I'm all done trying to figure it out.

AquaticSub -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/12/2006 8:09:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FrankAr Now let me get this right, HE interupted your conversation and asked about dinner. Now how pathetic of you to even think of that line, let us face it, she is slave, owned, this is not a Dom/subby relationship where near equality exists. It is a slave relationship where she is owned, she pleases her Owner the best way that she can and everyone else SHOULD go second. For even while she was talking with you, SHE should have noticed the time and exused herself to make sure HIS dinner was ready and heated. There is a major difference in a slave relationship, there is not even a remote equality in it. You, patina do have to think in the back of your mind that she has to live by His rules, and so thus that is why she became collared to Him, and you should ( whether you are sub or slave or Domme ) adhere to His household rules as a means of respect. Remember YOUR friend lives there, and she is there 24/7. Where you can turn the computer off and say have a nice day, she might have to suffer the consequences of you talking with her while she should have been making the dinner, simple. Be well and take care. Master Frank Ar. Haven't read the entire thread, slap my wrist if you must. Perhaps under his rules the slave is actually allowed to have outside friends and conversations. Perhaps under his rules, there isn't a specific time to be cooking dinner. Some doms and masters go "Hey, I'm hungry now could you start with dinner?". That's how it works in this house. I get some time to finish up what I was doing and then I go cook.

AquaticSub -> RE: appreciation in lifestyle (12/12/2006 8:11:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover quote: ORIGINAL: FrankAr Now let me get this right, HE interupted your conversation and asked about dinner. Now how pathetic of you to even think of that line, let us face it, she is slave, owned, this is not a Dom/subby relationship where near equality exists. It is a slave relationship where she is owned, she pleases her Owner the best way that she can and everyone else SHOULD go second. To begin, you're misunderstanding her usage of the term "interrupt" as if it were prejorative. Grab a dictionary, it's nothing more than a factual rendering of events that transpired. There is no negative denotation, simply a negative connotation that exists in your own mind. Second, if anyone is "pathetic" in this thread, I'm looking in your direction. Lashing out at someone, calling them names, demonstrating your ignorance (another denotatively non-prejorative term, simply stating what you do not know rather than your intelligence), and topping it off with statements of what everyone else "should" do in their personal relationships. That's quite a litany of miscues in my opinion. John I almost always love your posts and this made me go "Can I hug you now?"

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