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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/15/2006 8:54:05 AM

ThunderRoad

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Put them in the corner for an hour. Or do a 500-word essay apology.

I agree though, it's in the mindset. The basic idea of a punishment is to make someone realize they did wrong, understand it's wrong, and encourage them to not to it again.

(in reply to LotusSong)

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/15/2006 9:19:56 AM

yourMissTress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I apologize LotusSong....and anyone else who takes offense at this but this topic drives me up a wall.

I can understand "punishment" when it is done in the context of "oh you bad girl, you did______.....you know you're going to have to be punished now...drop your drawers and come here". It's a great reason to have an impromptu scene.

But punishment in the context of trying to actually correct a behavior issue.....nope....just don't get it. In my own personal opinion, we are supposed to be responsible adults here. Responsible adults hold themselves accountable for their actions. They make mistakes and they learn from making those mistakes. If you are in a relationship, chances are that you have a desire to make that a fulfilling experience for you and your partner. We all make mistakes from time to time. That should negate the need for punishment.

If you are a person who can not control yourself and your behavior and find that you need to be punished in order to learn lessons or just stay in line....I would suggest that you lack the maturity to be in an adult relationship.

erin summed it up quite well.

Speaking for myself, I don't care to have a submissive that believes misbehaving and being punished for it are a necessary part of the relationship. You submit or you do not, it's as simple as that. Everyone makes mistakes, and for my girl, knowing she has made one is more than enough to discourage her from repeating it.

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/15/2006 7:57:36 PM

TheLadySays

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I wouldn't give a masochist the satisfaction of being physically punished by me. Because it is rewarding them! Instead I would have very little physical contact with them for a limited time, or take away a favorite priviledge. I run things on a point system usually for naughty behaviour, they have priviledges taken away gradually, in order for them to earn it back, they have to do things to earn good points. not only does it keep them working hard for you because they have a goal, but it also humiliates many submissives, because they are being treated like a child.
It's worked for me so far... but watch out for the ones who love building up their bad points, or just good points, because it can turn out to be given pleasure too much with some extreme subs and making a very vanilla situation with a goody too shoes sub!
Learn to get the balance right, by getting to know your subs personality first. Takes a long time, but for me its worked so far!
As you can tell, I've experienced many types of submissives who try any which way they can to turn things around to get what they want. topping from the bottom can easily happen to someone who isn't very attentive, watch out for it!
T xx

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/15/2006 9:43:24 PM

CandleInTheWind

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

How DO you punish a Masochist?

ignore them???

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/15/2006 9:44:36 PM

kyra

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probably by not hurting them ^__^

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/16/2006 12:09:42 AM

rukna

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyra

probably by not hurting them ^__^

nothing could be better

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/17/2006 7:33:17 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Go vanilla on their butt. Not literaly (well, I guess you could, but vanilla is pricey and it seems a waste), but relationship wise. *grins* Tell them they've destroyed your love of kink, and you have returned to the light side. For good. Then act horrified when they try to woo you back or suggest anything not purely vanilla.

Actually, I think this would work for just about any type of person here...

That's right - lying is always the best solution.

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Post #: 67

RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/21/2006 5:25:20 PM

MichMasochist

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Not having read the thread in its' entirity. A basic guide line is that you don't give pain to a masochist as a corrective messure. That seems to only occure in threads like this one.

In S&M you have pain-play, limits tested and expanded, and punishment-play. Always having been in referrence to intensity level of play.

How do you punish a masochist, deny him, her, what they want.

Mich

(in reply to LotusSong)

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/21/2006 9:14:43 PM

DiamondOrchid

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Joined: 11/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Go vanilla on their butt. Not literaly (well, I guess you could, but vanilla is pricey and it seems a waste), but relationship wise. *grins* Tell them they've destroyed your love of kink, and you have returned to the light side. For good. Then act horrified when they try to woo you back or suggest anything not purely vanilla.

Actually, I think this would work for just about any type of person here...

That's right - lying is always the best solution.

Are you being sarcastic, or did you not get the humour?

D.

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/22/2006 1:28:55 AM

ExSteelAgain

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I'm not saying it because I started it, but this turned out to be one of the best threads on the subject thanks to the brilliant folks who jumped in.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_611292/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/22/2006 3:07:29 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

How DO you punish a Masochist?

Treat them with respect, groom their self esteem and serve them hot chocolate and cookies.

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/22/2006 6:06:30 AM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

In my own personal opinion, we are supposed to be responsible adults here. Responsible adults hold themselves accountable for their actions....

...If you are a person who can not control yourself and your behavior and find that you need to be punished in order to learn lessons or just stay in line....I would suggest that you lack the maturity to be in an adult relationship.

AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN mistoferin!!!

I've tried and realize I can't say it better than you have. And to all that "cleansing" hoo haaa...here's a hint: acknowledging error, being genuine in your assertions that it won't happen again, and then making sure of it will accomplish everything all that "cleansing" stuff claims to do as well.

And since the consequence of disobedience can be the end of the relationship (don't want to submit? leave.), acknowledgment of the behavior IS accepting the possible consequence, and so would meet that standard of responsibility and maturity as well. Of course, that would mean that the dominant would not exactly be your wishy washy sort to begin with (and not saying anyone here is).

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/22/2006 6:21:09 AM >

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/22/2006 7:20:48 AM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Go vanilla on their butt. Not literaly (well, I guess you could, but vanilla is pricey and it seems a waste), but relationship wise. *grins* Tell them they've destroyed your love of kink, and you have returned to the light side. For good. Then act horrified when they try to woo you back or suggest anything not purely vanilla.

Actually, I think this would work for just about any type of person here...

That's right - lying is always the best solution.

Are you being sarcastic, or did you not get the humour?

D.

I didn't read it as trying to be humorous. If they were - well, I didn't see it. If they weren't, my ironic statement stands.

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/22/2006 1:12:04 PM

Mikal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid

Are you being sarcastic, or did you not get the humour?

D.

I didn't read it as trying to be humorous. If they were - well, I didn't see it. If they weren't, my ironic statement stands.

I was posting tongue-in-cheek. I don't know of anyone who can switch from being 'kinky' as it were, to vanilla and I'd wager the same for other people on this site. Therefore, if partner A did try my suggestion on partner B, partner B would likely realize that such a change had NOT occured. If not, well, their relationship needs more help than the people on these boards can provide.

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RE: Punishing Masochists - 12/22/2006 2:18:00 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid

Are you being sarcastic, or did you not get the humour?

D.

I didn't read it as trying to be humorous. If they were - well, I didn't see it. If they weren't, my ironic statement stands.

I was posting tongue-in-cheek. I don't know of anyone who can switch from being 'kinky' as it were, to vanilla and I'd wager the same for other people on this site. Therefore, if partner A did try my suggestion on partner B, partner B would likely realize that such a change had NOT occured. If not, well, their relationship needs more help than the people on these boards can provide.