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Jealousy - 12/10/2006 2:06:43 PM   
reofbl


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline 		Many of my slaves haven't been jealous. To an extreme. Many slaves share their Master with several others. Is there a reason slaves aren't jealous..? Is it simply an emotion I take for granted, that isn't naturally there for everyone?
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RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 2:48:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I dunno. I would imagine that being a slave would generally mean you don't get a say in if your master sleeps around, though of course that varies from relationship to relationship. I couldn't stand the idea of my dominant sleeping with another woman and, fortunately for me, he doesn't have an interest in sleeping with anyone else. One sub's .02, take it for what it's worth.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to reofbl)
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RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 2:59:44 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I am the jealous kind and agree with aquaticsub that i would not like to share my master. I do accept that i may have to though but im not sure id handle it or not.

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(in reply to reofbl)
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RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 3:15:16 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I don't see being a slave as meaning you don't have a say in who your Master is with, unless that is agreed on and you are fine with it from the very beginning.  I for one am not, and that was something he and I talked about before the collar went around my neck.  I wanted a relationship, a marriage, and all of that.. so it wasn't something I was open to. 
 
I wouldn't be with a Master than wanted it, I guess that is why it's good there are so many with different wants and needs..we all can get what we are looking for in a mate/slave/Master..etc.
 
I don't think that slaves are any less jealous, maybe some don't think it's their place to say anything, or you have been lucky enough to get the ones that don't mind sharing.
 
Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
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(in reply to reofbl)
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RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 3:21:52 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		I don't have much problem with sharing, when necessary. Loyalty and fidelity are two very different things (to me).

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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)
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RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 3:25:55 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Jealousy is a common emotion for many people. If you've been blessed with having slaves who aren't jealous, I'm betting it's because you're open and up front about how you expect the relationship to run. Thus, the ones who have stuck around that you've chosen are more naturally poly.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to reofbl)
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RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 3:27:11 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I don't call myself a slave, but I'm gonna answer anyway. :)

Personally, I'm mostly monogamous but that's not because of any moral stance or principled commitment to monogamy.  Its just the way I am.  If I'm really attatched to someone, I don't think about much else besides the person I'm attached to.

But, I don't and haven't ever expected my partners to be monogamous, either in the context of a D/s relationship or a vanilla one.  So long as my needs are met, what the other person does on their own time is their business and I don't ask a lot of questions though, I have to admit, I love hearing war stories and think its a cool thing to be able to talk about with someone I'm with.

The only time I've felt jealous has been when I was unhappy with the relationship in general, or just my life, and that feeling has applied to everything they've done that wasn't about ME, be it work, sports or even watching TV.  There's something about not having my needs met that makes me incredibly and unreasonably needy.  So, if I'm feeling it, I see jealousy as a symptom that something fundamental is wrong.

(in reply to reofbl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 3:38:38 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		While it has taken many years now to come to terms with a few things.....ie: Jealousy.  I have found that i am not jealous of  His snaks.  That green eyed monster does raise it's ugly head if The Man becomes interested in another that is more than a snak.   One of the things that i must always remember is:  We are the core to this relationship, there is no one that can come between us.  That helps when the jealous thing rears up........then i remember my place. 
As far as sharing "my" Master goes?  i don't assign posession to Him.  He posesses/owns me...........not the other way around.

~smilezz~

< Message edited by smilezz -- 12/10/2006 3:39:31 PM >

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(in reply to reofbl)
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RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 3:46:24 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I definitely can get jealous.  When I do, I look inside to find the insecurity that's causing it within me, communicate it to my partners WITHOUT the expectation of them "fixing it" and then deal with the source directly.

Most often these days that means me going "Oh, hmm I'm jealous, how weird.  Why?  Oh, we didn't get hardly any snuggle time this week.  Oh well- make mental note to do more snuggling next week and let the partner know to try and make more time."

But it's taken me years to get to that sort of comfort level.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_605931/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#606140
None of this...?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_598009/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#598029
Jealousy (5)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_516092/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#517028
Poly households and jealousy

http://www.collarchat.com/m_499005/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#499071
Still Need Growth

http://www.collarchat.com/m_469964/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#470560
Define Jealousy

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=428635&mpage=1&key=jealousy&#428636
Jealousy and Envy

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=424827&mpage=2&key=jealousy&#425069
Jealousy (5)

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=417231&mpage=1&key=jealousy&#423661
1 master 2 subs

http://www.collarchat.com/m_374948/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#377940
No green eyed monsters allowed!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_351171/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#352231
The Green-Eyed Monster

http://www.collarchat.com/m_289099/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#289531
The little green eyed monster

http://www.collarchat.com/m_273729/mpage_2/key_jealousy/tm.htm#273795
Jealousy

http://www.collarchat.com/m_233131/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#233136
Jealousy (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_232405/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#232461
Jealousy (3)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_209316/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#209381
Jealousy Issues

http://www.collarchat.com/m_207541/mpage_1/key_jealousy/tm.htm#207542
Jealousy (4)



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(in reply to reofbl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 3:55:20 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		i never feel jealous when Master is spending time with other women because i don't own Him.  He owns me.   But, there have been a couple of times that i have felt something like jealousy, not because Master was spending His time with another woman but, because of the way i saw Him treating her that was so different from the way He treats me and that made me feel as though there was something about her that He enjoyed in a very special way and that i don't have whatever it was that she had and could never give Him that same type of enjoyment. 

That feeling of jealousy came from fear that He would enjoy what she had to offer Him so much that He would choose to release me as His slave in order to have her.   But, it didn't bother me for long, because i know that what i do have that Master enjoys, far outwieghs anything He enjoys with any other woman and because i know He is a Man of His word and He has told me that, no matter what, i will always be His slave (unless i decided differently).

It's a matter of feeling secure in knowing that i am His slave for life and, no matter how many other women He chooses to be with, that is never going to change.   So, i'm no longer afraid of Him dismissing me because He happens to enjoy being with other women, even if He does enjoy different pleasures with them.

slavegirl joy
Owned property of Master David (NControlofU)

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 4:43:07 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		~quick reply~
I think jealousy has a lot to do with self-esteem.  If you work on bringing out and believing in your good qualities, you will have less to be jealous about.  Think about jealousy and how it is manifested - it can ruin a relationship, it is non-productive.  If your partner wants another, being jealous is not going to bring him back to you. 


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 6:05:50 PM   
darksdesire


Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		I don't own him.  He owns me.  However, I am most certainly jealous and would be a terribly unhappy slave if I had to share my Master with other slaves.   I hear of slaves sharing their Masters all the time, and for the life of me, I can't figure out how they can do that so easily.  I handle my need for a monogamous D/s relationship by being with a Master who also desires a monogamous relationship.  I've wondered though, what would I do should he decide to take on another slave.   

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 6:14:37 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Slaves do get jealous. As a slave when I enter a M/s relationship and I am told upfront there will be a poly thing , then fine I have been told and thats it. Alot of slaves do have some say on what goes on as I do, but Master's decision is the final one. Its normal to have little pangs of jealousy now and then. Extreme uncontrolled jelaousy is a sign of deeper problems going on .

 I had a sister slave once that was so jealous she would do things when Master was gone to get me into trouble. If not dealt with it can get out of hand. Maybe you just see it before it happens and deal with it and thats why there aren't alot of problems there.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to reofbl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 6:46:29 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		He is not mine to share.

But it used to be upsetting to me to think about him with others.  Over time, as I felt more solid in my slavery to him, I realized that nothing that occurs outside of us matters.  He is always my Master, and I need him and I want him to have all the pleasure he desires.  As he has often told me, the only one who can affect my place with him is me. I have come to a point in our relationship where I am accepting and welcoming of anything he does.  I no longer fear his involvement with others because I am absolutely secure in my place with him, and with the knowledge that he cares very much for me and enjoys me greatly.

(in reply to reofbl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 7:03:49 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Jealousy is a common emotion for many people. If you've been blessed with having slaves who aren't jealous, I'm betting it's because you're open and up front about how you expect the relationship to run. Thus, the ones who have stuck around that you've chosen are more naturally poly.
Master Fire




I quoted MasterFireMaam because that is exactly how and why my relationship works. I knew what I was getting into going into the relationship, Master is always open and honest with me. I know what to expect, he doesn't lie or hide anything from me. Master and I are the only ones that can tear down what we have built. If anyone else could tear our relationship apart i would have to ask myself if this was the right relationship for me.

I have also learned by watching others ... the fastest way to ruin a relationship is by letting that green eyed monster show it's ugly head.


_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 7:11:31 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: reofbl

...Is there a reason slaves aren't jealous..? Is it simply an emotion I take for granted, that isn't naturally there for everyone?...


this slave let go of jealousy in high school because it was SUCH an incredible downer and a drag and felt so incredibly juvenile...feeding and then acting on negative emotions is something that this slave learned to STOP before it ruined a lot of good things, but this slave has found that one must REALLY want it to be a non-issue in order to make it one.

that said, absolutely NOTHING or NOONE can stir up "jealousy" in this slave, especially when it comes to pleasing Master. His pleasure is paramount. If he wanted to include 5 "new" slaves and they all looked like some Playboy model AND could carry on an intelligent conversation---YAAAAY for Master if that's what HE wants!!!


(in reply to reofbl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 7:20:40 PM   
Naughtygal33


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/24/2006
Status: offline 		Jealousy is a natural emotion.  If you do not feel it at some point over something (big or small), then I am sorry but you are a robot. 

I believe it comes down to how well a submissive or slave can hide it.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 7:29:52 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Naughtygal33

Jealousy is a natural emotion.  If you do not feel it at some point over something (big or small), then I am sorry but you are a robot. 

I believe it comes down to how well a submissive or slave can hide it.

really?

I don't hide jealousy. In fact, I don't need to hide it. Master has more than one girl; I am a very good friend with one of them. I feel no jealousy when either he or she talk about their relationship. In fact, the only thing I do feel is very happy knowing that Master has someone besides me who can also make him happy. The happier Master is, the happier I am.

Your view that we are robots because we don't feel jealousy is really quite insulting.


_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to Naughtygal33)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 7:33:41 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		 I sometimes wonder if "going Poly" will work for me, even though it is making more sense for me right now than Monogamy, overall (although I am not completely sold, or excluding, either "style" at present).

But - I am encouraged because while I can feel (occasionally) jealous if someone has another GF, it's only if they are throwing it in my face, and it almost appears they are trying to see if I am jealous.

If I just know they've got another GF, and they occasionally talk about her, and I even meet her, that's fine. I've got many female friends, and this (to me) is just one more way to maybe make more of those. But if someone is deliberately trying to make me feel I am "competing" with the other GF, and endlessly "comparing" us, it can annoy me, or really make me feel hurt (plus, I think it's tacky). But, I get along with women just fine.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/10/2006 7:37:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Kalira)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Jealousy - 12/10/2006 7:49:15 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira
Your view that we are robots because we don't feel jealousy is really quite insulting.


There seems to be a theme of ignorant, judgmental statements lately from the omniscient ones who can read minds and hearts.  Don't be insulted - you're a robot, remember?  Robots don't have thoughts or feelings

Edited to add, the day I hide things from my Master is the day I should no longer belong to him.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 12/10/2006 7:50:00 PM >

(in reply to Kalira)
Profile   Post #: 20
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