Emperor1956
Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
LA: There's always the question of whether people in ds actually experience sexual abuse more than other social groups OR whether they are just more willing to talk about it as this is an alternate lifestyle social group, OR whether certain orientations somehow lead to people being vulnerable and more likely to experience abuse even at a very young age. Until we really have a clear answer to that, we really can't discuss a correllation or causation with much certainty.
OR whether there is correlation without causation OR whether there is no connection whatsoever.
This question comes up all the time, both I think internally for many of us (WHY am I like this?) and here on the chat boards. People love to tell anecdotes. But in fact no one has proven any sort of connection. It looks like many people into B/D/S/M have histories of childhood sexual abuse. Then again, I know people who have long histories of childhood sexual abuse who have no interest in B/D/S/M, or who are repulsed by it. I know many kinky people who grew up in "normal" households with no abuse. Find one example, and there you have it...one example.
What is frightening, and deserves note, is the apparently high rate of sexual abuse among children who grew up in the last 1/2 of the 20th Century. It seems at times almost epidemic.
and: quote:
As adults, the re-living of traumatic sexual experiences seems to allow the person to experience the situation in a 'safe' environment - allowing them to face the situation again, better armed, and with a measure of control over the result.
This is a canard. It sounds oh-so-good, for the therapist who now is in the know, and for the Dom who can think to himself or herself "look what a good person I am, this kinky, possibly abusive sex is really helping my partner!" In fact there is absolutely no basis for this proposition. People who are traumatized sometimes do attempt to "relive" the trauma; just as many run from any situation that could remotely resemble the traumatic event. If it makes you feel good to think that there is a "safe, sane" reliving of the rape/abuse etc., then by all means, keep telling yourself that. But as a generalization to explain WIIWD, its a warm fuzzy lie, all the same.
E.
_____________________________
"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.
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past abuse and fetishes, is there a link? - 
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RE: past abuse and fetishes, is there a link? - 
.... i can still be me, i have learned to listen to my gut and make better choices as in the end it is my choice who i submit to. 
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