RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress)

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/17/2006 4:40:22 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

BRNaughtyAngel,
As you can see, there are many styles and types of relationships between Doms and subs. I personally don't think I'm doing my job, unless my sub is obsessing about what is coming next. lol. But I don't think that is incompatible with being open and honest about who I am and who she is; as a matter of fact I think it is critical to a trusting relationship.

There is no reason you can't have both <snip>

Thank you Sir Dominic. I understand about the obsessing

, boy do I understand! LOL!

I've come to the conclusion there's some super secret Dom handbook with at least one whole chapter on driving your sub/slave nuts!

LOL!

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Post #: 41

RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/18/2006 1:49:08 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
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greetings

i find first i must know the person, i do not believe in lust at first sight ( that means i do not tell ) i will feel it yes but it is mine to share when i am ready. i find my interest are as important his. i like someone how is like minded as i am i am intellgent, speaks with a strong mind i love to talk about so much. then we began to speak of what i like yes it is all about me i do share feelings first with writing then by phone, i find a person who is nuts and has nothing good in his soul will make a mistake, slip up and i know well before we get to the phone part of our talk that something is not right . but oh when i found the right person it is bliss and so much more. but i do take my time and work to make sure this is it

take care
mons

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/26/2006 1:48:59 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
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greetings

i wrote before about this mind of a mistress of master when i did thnk of it i found that it is the hunt in my mind the search and capture not in the sense of really capturing a male but the real feeling that comes with the capture and training to my liking and taste

mons

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Post #: 43

RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/26/2006 11:31:07 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

Example: You know your sub/slave is straight and/or is only interested in a monogamous relationship. You, the Master have no real desire to share them, but you push the issue, getting them to agree to do whatever it takes to make you happy. So even though you have no plans to share them or have them play with someone of the same sex, would you make them believe that it's a possibility just to fuck with them?

I don't make anything an issue "just to fuck with them". I'd make it an issue so that she *knew* every day in which she's not scouring the lesbian bar for a hookup is another day in which I'm smart and magnanimous enough to not force the issue - knowing who she is and how she feels, but within my rights to do whatever I want.

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/26/2006 2:33:48 PM

sleazy

Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
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I think a lot of folks have already said a lot of how I feel on the subject. I am a little slow at letting my desires come to light. As Voltare has said I would like to know if there are any previous issues that should be borne in mind, I can live without face-slapping or just about anything else if it brings bad feelings to the surface, need never even mention it. The whole deal should be a two-way street and is just as much about what the sub exepects, likes and wants as it is about the dom.

As for the mind aspect, the chances of me ever asking a sub to strip and kneel in the middle of a grocery store are so low as to be non-existent, but its one hell of a boost to the ego knowing that if I asked she would, and being a believer in never say never, it could come to pass that one day well into the relationship I may want to try something that right here and now I wouldnt even consider thinking about, let alone demanding or asking. As always the first and foremost rule is communicate.

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/27/2006 3:57:44 AM

Lupo00

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Joined: 12/28/2004
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I haven't been on the scene for very long, only about 3yrs, but I would say that bt base of any M/s D/s (or whatever) relationship need, and MUST be open honest and explicit communication between all partied involved.

It is a common thing, and naturally human, "self preservation instinct", to hold things back, and in the begining A/all will hold back something. It is hard for people to Trust someone they just met and with time trust builds and more comes out...

Lupo

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Post #: 46

RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/27/2006 7:44:36 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

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Wow, I can't believe my thread is still alive.

I really do want to thank those of you who have taken the time to respond. It really has been enlightening for me to read the various responses, especially with the happenings in my own relationship since I first posted this.

I'm learning to like the "keep her guessing" part of this relationship...... okay, I don't ALWAYS like it

but it certainly makes things interesting.

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/27/2006 11:44:47 AM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel
I'm learning to like the "keep her guessing" part of this relationship...... okay, I don't ALWAYS like it but it certainly makes things interesting.

~Grinning~ 2 1/2 years into it, he still keeps me guessing!

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/27/2006 1:25:00 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Well, a lot of people don't get the difference between "keep her guessing and still maintain a solid foundation" and "keep her guessing so she won't figure out I have no real clue what the hell I'm doing"

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/27/2006 1:40:13 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Well, a lot of people don't get the difference between "keep her guessing and still maintain a solid foundation" and "keep her guessing so she won't figure out I have no real clue what the hell I'm doing"

Oh. I guess I hadn't considered the latter since that was never an issue with my Master and I.

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/27/2006 1:58:24 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Well, a lot of people don't get the difference between "keep her guessing and still maintain a solid foundation" and "keep her guessing so she won't figure out I have no real clue what the hell I'm doing"

Well ours is very new, but I have never once doubted His experience, His wisdom or His knowledge. It's often been a bumpy ride for me, but that's because I haven't managed to find that magic "Insta-slave" fairy dust. He's amazed me at every turn with His knowledge and guidance.

Doesn't mean I haven't wanted to whack Him upside the head with my frying pan on occasion, but I've learned to quell that particular desire.

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RE: The Mind of the Master (or Mistress) - 12/28/2006 5:36:26 PM

Fawne

Posts: 462
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Hi!

Please, let me share some advice.

1 is to make sure you keep yourself centered. It is easy to be so overwhelmed, especially for a new submissive with an experienced Dom.
2 Mind fucks used wisely can ideally increase trust and bonding.
3 Too early, before trust, "hiding" feelings or intent
(games), verbal, mental cruelty... more.... very painful and destructive. Please, be careful.

Perhaps some few sadists get off on these power games at sub/slaves expense?

no further comment..
be well

< Message edited by Fawne -- 12/28/2006 5:41:55 PM >

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Post #: 52