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[Poll]

Safewords - Use them?


Absolutely, All the Time
  40% (12)
Usually.
  10% (3)
Occasionally.
  10% (3)
Never, I don't see the point.
  40% (12)
I don't care.
  0% (0)
What are you talking about?
  0% (0)


Total Votes : 30
(last vote on : 2/4/2008 3:58:42 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:09:09 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Well, do you?

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:10:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		If by use you mean "I always have one in place". I've never actually had call to use it, but it's always there.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:11:19 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		Me and my late Master had a safe word but I never had to use it; he just knew me that well but it was set in place just in case.

_____________________________

Our greatest glory is not in never falling-but in rising every time we fall ( Confucius )

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:11:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Nope, unless I'm making a joke about them.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_600704/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#600756
forgetting the safeword

http://www.collarchat.com/m_563513/mpage_2/key_safeword/tm.htm#563814
Safeword usage over time

http://www.collarchat.com/m_355604/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#355604
Safewords are NOT for novices!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_232414/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#232414
safewords?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_228130/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#228130
safeword

http://www.collarchat.com/m_137937/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#137937
Forcing your sub to safeword?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_131432/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#131432
Safe words

http://www.collarchat.com/m_93603/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#93603
Overuse of a safeword?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_69981/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#69981
safewords not allowed?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_14335/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#14335
should a slave in training be allowed safewords?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_668940/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#669011
The use of safewords

http://www.collarchat.com/m_679370/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#679401
safe words:  To use or not to use

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:12:51 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72
Me and my late Master had a safe word but I never had to use it; he just knew me that well but it was set in place just in case.

Safewords have nothing to do with trust, with love, with rewards, with knowing people- they have to do with communicating when something goes wrong.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:15:25 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		I don't.  I don't play casually, and gretchen and I don't feel we need a special vehicle for her to let me know she's in trouble.  It's possible that may change, as our interests become more sadistic, and it's not that I don't see value in them - just that I don't personally need to use them at this point.  I know her well enough that when she stops squirming from 'Oh, I hate it when you spank me, it makes me wet!' to 'OUCH that really hurts there, and I don't like it' I start spanking the other cheek.  When things are getting really too much for her, she's been told to tell me directly that it's too rough.  That's more than enough for us.

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:20:40 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I use safewords....

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:42:28 PM   
LeMis


Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline 		yep I use them, if I need to

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 3:55:55 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		its like a sweater on an autum day.....better to have it and not need it.....then to need it an not have it.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to LeMis)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 4:59:23 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		I have one don't need to use it but it is there in place should i need it.  It is designed to get immediate attention as opposed to my being able to discuss it.  Discussion is wonderful but if something happens needing immediate attention i do not want to be using lots of words to get released the way i need to be.  Therefor it is truly a safeword.  Mostly discussion is quite good enough for us to be able to know if i need help or not.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 5:06:27 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Nope.  Never even had one or discussed the use of one.
If I have my mind enough about me to use a safeword then I'm more than able to just talk to him and tell him what's going on in my head and whether or not I need him to slow down or stop.  If I'm so far gone that I can't communicate at all then what good would a safeword do me?

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/12/2006 5:06:52 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline 		i have always had them in place 'just in case'.
 
DG

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/13/2006 4:00:48 AM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline 		Absolutely.  Yes. 
 
      IMO, it is part of the Safe, Sane, and Consensual mentality.   From time to time, I have had some "Yellows" for things like cramps, etc.  I appreciate knowing about those ugly monsters -- they not fun.
 
I find the number of responders low given the rate of those who responded to a poll I put up recently.  Inquiring minds want to know.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/13/2006 4:22:43 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I've never had a safeword. If I had one I'd have used it lots of times, especially when I've been caned. I'd have shreiked it after the first few cold strokes, when my stomach is heaving and I think I may vomit. I am not of the disposition that I want to *take* anything to make him happy or to please him. If I feel sick, he offers to fetch a bucket......and carries on......lol.

There are times when I'm not able to say much at all, too, least of all a special word.

It means that he has a lot of responsibility.

agirl

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/13/2006 4:30:56 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I think they are going to be useful for people that find them useful.

I don't think safe and sane comes into our particular way of relating, actually, in any case.

If I had cramp.........I'd say * Ow, ow, eeek, I've got cramp*  because I'd think *cramp* not *yellow*.

agirl

(in reply to DOM68005)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/13/2006 5:37:04 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I always use them. Might make me a coward. I don't care. I would rather be seen as a coward than go through what I went through as a sub.
I only played a few times but both times I could not express what I wanted to express.
The first couple of times I wanted to stop something without having to sound like a foolish twit. I couldn't.
The third time I wanted to say just stop messing around and hit me lol. I couldn't.
So now I use traffic signals and then the person I am playing with can give me a signal without having to sound stupid or greedy or anything else. Everyday words are too emotive when the temperature is high. You can't explain properly until you are back to level and the Dom/me and sub or top and bottom can sit down and talk comfortably. Some couples play in public as well when they don't really have any kind of relationship at all.
So there may be a lot of pride involved on the bottoms part. And allowing a slave to be played with by another Dom/me without a safe word would be absolutely impossible for me to do. They might hurt him lol.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/13/2006 5:43:58 AM   
Altina


Posts: 14
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

Well, do you?

I do not, and have never employed the use of safewords. Nor will I seriously consider anyone who insisted on their use.

However, it should be noted that I do not 'play' casually at clubs or such. I only play with those whom I have taken the time to get to know and vice versa.

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Safewords - Use them? - 12/13/2006 12:11:57 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Altina,

That's almost exactly how I feel.

I don't play casually in public (or private.)  On the rare occasion that I play with someone I'm not familiar with, I use a light touch. 

When I went through a BDSM chat phase, I remember this subject coming up now and then.  Universally, anyone who suggested they didn't use safe words were attacked like piranha on a cow.  Pretending safe words are the answer is like 'Duck and Cover' in a volcanic eruption.  Either there's communication, or there isn't.

With gretchen, we communicate.  I take a moment now and then to ask her how she's doing.  I don't 'break character' and I don't always believe her answers.  I watch the amount of red on her skin, the way she's reacting, and when she's complaining too much, I back off.  "Too much" is obviously subjective, but being aware of the damage one can do, I don't hit anywhere hard enough to cause real damage.  I err on the side of caution, as much as I can (considering there's risk in everything we do.) 

Sure, one day I might go too far.  I might not notice a sign, or I might slip when I'm swinging.  I don't think a safeword will prevent that.  Blind adherence to a bizzare word is only as good as the person swinging, and the person being swung at. 

Disclaimer: this technique is not intended to be used by anybody.  Don't use at anyone's risk.


_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to Altina)
Profile   Post #: 18
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