RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (Full Version)

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bandit25 -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/15/2006 8:07:02 PM)

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...He didn't read my profile.



jess4uruse -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/16/2006 6:22:41 AM)

[sm=book.gif]



amlonging -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/16/2006 6:27:24 AM)

what slave does not put their Owners gratifications of any nature above their own.
 
OK lets change this discourse just a tad.......
how many of you slaves DO place the sexual gratification of your Doms above your own?
ie:  you dont mind if you never orgasm again, you never are touched the way  you desire ever again, you dont get your cuddle time...... in other words, your emotional intimacy needs are not met by your Dom? Are you still his slave or do you ask release?



amlonging -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/16/2006 6:33:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: starshineowned

A owned slave need not want for anything other than to be pleasing. If they have chosen well..then everything else will generally fall into place by the owners hand and will. It is actually a perk in my eyes as a slave to have no burden of worrying beyond being found pleasing.

I do find that often it is easier on the system overall if things such as I want or need are listed as I like these things..I don't like these things..I am not really sure about these things to make a decision about.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin


Thank you for this input starshine



amlonging -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/16/2006 6:35:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

Hello All,
As in any relationship there has to be a common thread or common bond that makes them desire to be with someone first.
sub/slaves mirror the desires of those they serve.
To lay out who you are and what's important to you in my mind is a benefit to a Dom who's seeking a slave/sub.


Entirely agreed and so much better respectfully said than "i demand, i need, i want."



starshineowned -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/16/2006 8:12:45 AM)

quote:

OK lets change this discourse just a tad.......
how many of you slaves DO place the sexual gratification of your Doms above your own?
ie:  you dont mind if you never orgasm again, you never are touched the way  you desire ever again, you dont get your cuddle time...... in other words, your emotional intimacy needs are not met by your Dom? Are you still his slave or do you ask release?
I think the only persons that could honestly answer this are persons that have had this happen. Even then..I am willing to bet you would still get 100 different answer for it.

If you are basing "emotional intimacy" strictly off of the 3 things you listed..cuddle time..orgasm..touched how you want to be touched...then there are indeed slaves out there like this. I think a service only slave is a good example.

I find emotional intimacy for myself to be a much broader spectrum. I get the feeling of emotional intimacy in just being used or serving how the owner wishes. The mind can turn just about Anything into whatever it wants. I have never not been used in a sexual manner of some sort within slavery but I do not see the actual physical aspects of it as ever being some sort of pre-requisite when was seeking a owner to begin with. It just was not a important enough thing to me. Since I have been used that way..it would probably require some re-training to unlearn it as being a part of my slavery but if Master were to say that he is going to stop using me sexually or allow me to sleep with him or touch or hold me again but just use me as a service only slave..it would not be something that I would have to stop and ponder on as in: oh hmm..well now that puts a different light on things and i'll have to re-think my remaining a slave to you because of this. It might hurt, it might be difficult, but i'd learn none the less, and life would go on.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin



kyraofMists -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/16/2006 8:17:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
He also views my expression of my wants as a way of transfering authority to him.  If I keep my wants and desires to myself, then he will not get the opportunity to exercise his authority to fulfill them or not.  When I keep them to myself, I retain the authority over them because I make the decision that they will not be fulfilled.  When I express what I want, he now has the authority to give it or not.  The more he knows about me, my wants and desires, the more authority he has over my life. 


This was really well put!

Similarly to me, just because a desire is expressed does not mean it will be met (it took me awhile to really get that, however, lol).  But by not expressing it, I am taking control/authority back, and in doing that, I am potentially damaging the dynamic.



Good point.  I think that submissives and slaves can get in trouble when they become particularly attached to having a want or need met in a specific way at a specific time (and I think this applies to people in general).  My goal is to express my wants and needs but not have expectations about how, when and if they will be met.  It is challenging and not always easy to do but he will make the decision about whether they get met, when and how.

Knight's kyra



KnightofMists -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/16/2006 8:33:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: amlonging

Since when does a slave do this?


As been said before... Stating I want or I need does not have to be a demand.  But, I can see in many cases that it could very will be as such or even precieved to be that by others.

Second,  It is rather silly for an unowned or uncommitted submissive to not express their needs and wants.  How is a interested Dominant to consider if they are compatiable to the submissive.  I have found that people with similar needs and wants are generally more compatiable than those with alot of differences.  Even with the differences, each individual will need to consider the importance of the needs/wants and if can be fullfilled in other means outside of the specific relationship.  Maybe the need/want is so important that non-fullfillment will doom the relationship before it begins.  Maybe it is determined to be of lesser importance to other concerns.

Within the relationship dynamic... kyra provided my view rather clearly and I do not to need to add anything.



amlonging -> RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications (12/16/2006 1:36:28 PM)

starshine and kyra.... thank you so much for the input....



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