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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 9:31:00 AM

MistressDoMe

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Many here enjoy arguing and attempting to be the expert on everything.

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 9:32:51 AM

Rover

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Well, dang... judging by the thread title, I was expecting something completely different. Imagine my disappointment.

John

< Message edited by Rover -- 12/17/2006 9:34:10 AM >

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 9:38:09 AM

truesub4u

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<fast reply>

I'm thinking it's just the way people are. And not everyones perfect. Peeps react... think...speak differently between cyber space and reality. Just as other precieve to think someone is an idiot when someone disagrees with them on here. Now that's not to say everyone thinks that way... or not.... it's just a statement that doesn't apply to one..or more people. It's just a simple statement. Now some may agree... some may not... that's the whole idea of how others think of others typing..speaking...abilities on here.

When ya see enough of peoples post here on this forum.. ya start over looking how its stated...and look at what is stated. And ya get the feel of what they're saying. If not.. it's just as easy to ask them.

edited for damn typos....LOL

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 12/17/2006 9:39:43 AM >

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 10:41:32 AM

kyraofMists

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A comment was made once in reference to the definition of submissive vs. slave debate that people are not just defending their definitions, they are defending their identities. Approaching hot topics with this in mind, I have been a little more aware of what the other person may be defending. I know that there are times when someone says something that casts a negative judgment on me and the people I interact with that I will become very passionate about the topic. I do not think that I have gotten involved in any flame wars because I try to stick to the topic rather than calling someone names. There are certain things that I choose not to let slide.

With most things, I try to remain a little detached from my opinions and read the boards with an open mind. Throughout the past year or so, there have been things said that have either changed my opinion or at least broaden my perspective. However, I still have my pet peeves that I do not think will change and I will become passionate about those subjects.

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 10:53:32 AM

xonemasterx

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Don't discount the power of the love of one's own voice. They love to argue to hear/read themselves.

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 11:40:11 AM

Missokyst

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Generally I assume that people are speaking from their viewpoint at that moment. I know that "why do ALL doms, subs ect" does not mean ALL. It is simply the way they express themselves when something strikes them. I sincerely doubt that they see it that way, by the time people become adults they should not see things in strictly black or white.
As an adult I don't see things in black or white. LOL.. but wowie there are sure a lot of treads where people just go off on those remarks rather than focus on the IDEA of the topic. Why? Because we have become PC advocates. It is no longer acceptable to use generalizations. Now we have to justify them with clarifications. Like, "Why does every 5th dominant who is a middle aged male, wasp, balding, with a paunch, want a 20 something chickie with big tits, loves to slut, and has a smaller second toe?"

I don't mind when people say all or nothing. I assume they have a brain in their head and know few things are totally black and white. (note that I didn't say nothing this time). I do think that people focus on the small items that bother them so they can dismiss the intent.
That's just the way things are.
Kyst

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 11:53:25 AM

Nosathro

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Tal and greetings

Yes I would agree that human nature does play a part in all this. I would like to add in my observations we are brought up to discriminate rather then understand, respect and tolerate.

I wish you well

Nosathro

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 2:32:39 PM

Aine

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There are definitely times when it entertaines the shit out of me too. And sometimes the migraine isn't worth the effort!

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 2:37:01 PM

Aine

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I wish I had hit the cancel button more often.... lol

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 2:43:52 PM

Aine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Well, dang... judging by the thread title, I was expecting something completely different. Imagine my disappointment.

John

*giggles*

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 3:01:42 PM

Voltare

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Aine,

I usually speak in general terms of how people usually are, simply because I don't feel that I tend to fit into my own generalizations. I sometimes give advice that I myself wouldn't take - because where I can see it might be beneficial to that person, in their situation, it wouldn't do a thing for me. I recently saw the thread where a sub was afraid she was too promiscuous, and was concerned about meeting a potential Dom. I suggested she should set some very specific limits for herself, including a curfew. I wouldn't have taken my own advice, because I don't have any moral, emotional, or intellectual objections towards having sex on a first date. While I feel this works for me, I don't think it's good advice to give most people. Same thing with objectification 'play' or edge play. I do some bizzare things with my computer, that I don't recommend anyone else do (I have two power supplies rigged with electrical tape, for example, and I use a tupperware bin for my girlfriends machine, instead of an actual case - big no nos.)

Basically, what I think is good for someone - or even myself - isn't always what I choose to do. Because I am making an informed, intellectual decision to that effect, I alone bear the responsibility for the subsequent results (failure, success, happiness, misery, whatever.) That's also why I sometimes put a disclaimer on my threads: THIS ADVICE IS NOT SUITABLE FOR ANYONE. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME.

Stephan

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 3:19:39 PM

Aine

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I honestly wished that more people thought this way. Perhaps not exactly, but along the same lines. I've always tried to be a little more "broad" when talking with people about their problems, when they ask for advice and just things in general.

I definitely try to keep in mind that not everyone has the same ideas and ideals and it's taken me years to be able to not immediately discredit a person simply because they do something a little differently than me. It's unfortunate the things that we learn at a younger age..it's hard to deal with coming out of the "impressional youth" stage and into something a little more individualized.

And adding into that, the idea that crouchingtigress expressed earlier....actively listening is certainly integral (imho) to good communication and healthy relationships with those around you. And most certainly very tiresome. But once a person can get a better handle on it, it really does tend to get easier.

And even better if you can share that idea with others that perhaps might not know about it or don't naturally do it already. But then again, finding people who are naturally like that are great to surround yourself with. Spread the love, I tell ya.

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RE: Why is it so hard? - 12/17/2006 3:46:38 PM

Voltare

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Actually, I had a head start on seeing things through two different eyes - divorced parents are becoming more and more common. My mom and my dad were almost polar opposites, and I grew up trying to please both, under very different circumstances. My sister, on the other hand, completely identified with my dad, and simply rejected my mom's perspectives.

Ah, it's a crazy world. Anyway, more important than telling someone that your own perspective is (fill in blank) is saying something in a way that opens their ears. "UR N IDIOT! THATS TEH STUPIDEST TING I EVER RED EN MY SICKSTY YERS OF MASTREY" isn't likely to be found helpful to... well, anyone (it'd be funny, if it wasn't so sad - like when a clown dies.)

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