Is there hope after 70?

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Is there hope after 70? - 12/17/2006 9:11:33 AM

skareamoos

Posts: 46
Joined: 5/13/2005
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My situation: (1) Older than any of you. (2) Still YOUNG at 76+. (3) Preternaturally frustrated because for the last ten years there has been no BDSM (if you prefer another designation, call it what you will). Again, parenthetically, for the record my activities in this area began pre-pubescence and continued unabated until the aforementioned 10 years ago.

My problem: Although I have a comfortable involvement, she became utterly vanilla upon reaching menopause. She says she does not mind if I continue to pursue my desires elsewhere, but I am uncertain how deeply she means it.

But --- dammit--- I miss it.

FINALLY --- My question: Does anyone believe that at this advanced (but YOUNG) age, that anyone except a pro would even begin to trifle with me. (Trifle is not used in its possible perjorative sense.)

Addendum: I am in Ocala, Florida, not exactly a hotbed of activity in our imposed persuasion. Further addendum --- as my profile shows I have tread both paths, but always return to the under position.

Many thanks to those who have bothered to readso far, whatever your answer.

p.s. An answer in this forum works. My old E-Mail Collar does not. I am working on correcting that.

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RE: Is there hope after 70? - 12/17/2006 9:13:40 AM

skareamoos

Posts: 46
Joined: 5/13/2005
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By the way, I resent Collar's designation of me as "vanilla" although I know their standards. But with 60+ yuears of kink behind me, I should be grandfathered in as ULTRA-KINKY.

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RE: Is there hope after 70? - 12/17/2006 10:57:32 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

skareamoos,

Your partner's menopausal status may or may not have had anything to do with her withdrawal from BDSM activities. She may be conveniently using that as an excuse not to bother with some fetish of yours that she does not share.

The key to rekindling that spark lies in communication. Open your communication and establish with her some common activity that would meet your basest BDSM cravings and begin there. It doesn't have to be chains, whips, bondage and taking a strap on to meet the psychological and emotional cravings you have to submit.

My guess is that at some point, some activity YOU preferred was a turn off for her, and that's where communication broke down completely, to the point she doesn't want to broach the topic anymore. But that's only a guess.

What was your LAST BDSM related activity together when she got resistant to the idea altogether? That would be a good place to start. Go back, remember, drag it out and talk about it.

With regard to your other inquiry as to age related service, I would say NO, your age does not preclude you from serving a non pro Domina. It also does not preclude you from serving a Pro Domme, either. This vein of questioning sounds like a 'bait post' to Me but I'll accept it as written and try to give a fair response.

I would gladly accept a 70 year old submissive into service. I understand the needs and cravings of a submissive doesn't diminish with time. Any great Domina would know and understand that, too.

Now, if you're looking for an immature Domme who's about 19-20 yoa and you're pining away after the fantasy of 'serving' a young Lass with bright, unblemished complexion and tight firm busts, chances are you're obcessing over something you may never enjoy in your life again.

Best advice would be to get realistic in your expectations, understand that a woman 20 or 30 years your junior is just approaching her most rewarding sexual peak and has a world of excitement to offer to a sincere submissive.

I daresay if you approach a mature, middle aged Domme, who may or may not be past menopause, (because I went through menopause in my early 40's and I'm still happily obcessed with sex and BDSM activities post menopause), I'm certain you'll find someone to serve with whom you might be completely compatible.

Menopause acting like a squelch on all sexual and/or non sexual BDSM related activities is a myth in our society.

Menopause is not a dried up, withered state of the human condition.

Menopause is merely a milestone.

Educate yourself a bit more about menopause, about the possibilities that exist post menopause, open communication and ask for what you need.

You'll be surprised to learn that age does not equal abstinence and unfulfillment, BDSM related or otherwise.

Best of luck to you,

TexasMaam

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RE: Is there hope after 70? - 12/17/2006 10:59:19 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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The 'vanilla' designation is merely a reflection of the number of times you have posted on these boards. The more you post, the more 'corrupted' your designation indicates. TM

quote:

ORIGINAL: skareamoos

By the way, I resent Collar's designation of me as "vanilla" although I know their standards. But with 60+ yuears of kink behind me, I should be grandfathered in as ULTRA-KINKY.

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RE: Is there hope after 70? - 12/17/2006 1:11:58 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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sure there is always hope in all things.....but decide what you want and keep the lines of communication open with your partner,...

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RE: Is there hope after 70? - 12/17/2006 1:23:01 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
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TexasMaam- I believe he stated he understood the designation. This is why people whine about others not paying attention. Also, have you considered that maybe his partner ISN'T lying to him? Not everyone is you, and just because your post-menopause days are being spent in a kinky manner does not mean everyone's will be.

Skare- There is hope. Texas was right to suggest concentrating on women closer to your own age, but you never know. As I often tell my friends, no matter who you are or what you look like, you're someone's kink. Best of luck in your search.

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It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
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RE: Is there hope after 70? - 12/17/2006 7:35:46 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear skareamoos, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my case, I do prefer older men. They don't run away as fast when I pull things from my toy bag. The younger lads I have to shackle and bolt the chain to the floor, so when they run they stop when they hit the end of the chain. [Grins]

That said, if anything would be an obstruction, would be that you are married.

When seeking a partner, I do not wish to share with someone who is unable to join in the activities with me/us. However, age can be seen by many in so many ways, however--I do like older men as they look dashing in a butler's tuxedo and serving from a sterling silver tray.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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