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Domspace - 2/20/2005 12:47:33 AM

GrandpaLash

Posts: 133
Joined: 1/8/2005
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We talk a lot about subspace, but rarely have I seen anything on Domspace. My own thoughts on it developed talking to subs who considered that the Dom did all the work and the sub got all the pleasure, because they could'nt understand what we get from it. It will no doubt be different for other Doms, but I'm pretty clear on the things I get from it, and Domspace is one of them.

What prompted this train of thought today was the breaking of a drought. For about 10 weeks now I haven't had anything like a full play session. The first three weeks while I went through the agonising decision to release a sub I loved because it really wasn't working, and then the rest of that time to get over the decision. Thank the Gods for my primary slave, who remained steadfast through the whole thing.

Today, finally, my head was in the right place, and we played, and I was forcibly reminded of my own particular brand of Domspace because it has been so long. To find myself sitting at the table with a fresh coffee, feeling heavy-lidded and satisfied, relaxed, even my chronic back-pain temporarily dulled, was soooo good. That experience of being so totally focussed on my sub and what I was doing to her (and I often wonder how much of what some subs get out of D/s revolves around the fact of being the absolute centre and focus of her Dom's attention) was something I'd almost forgotten, the way it silences the otherwise constant chatter in my head.

I'm back!!

Yihaaa!

And it leaves me wondering, what form does Domspace take for you other Doms and Dominas?

Grandpa Lash

_____________________________

Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s without sex

Post #: 1

RE: Domspace - 2/20/2005 2:26:55 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

I feel mentally free... floating happily. My flesh tingles... er... other parts of me ache.

I can hear everything louder than before... see things brighter, more vividly than before. I'm smiling, perpetually.

I guess it all boils down to being my drug o' choice.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to GrandpaLash)

Post #: 2

RE: Domspace - 2/20/2005 8:20:42 PM

1RottenJohnny

Posts: 113
Joined: 11/12/2004
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Actually, I've been conducting a self-study on this and wondered about the biologics of it. The only way I've been able to explain my feelings after a session is "ON". REALLY "ON". I don't ever feel any more energized.
I've noticed that depending on the length and quality of a session and the activities I get into, I can have that same feeling for days. I'm sure it's partially adrenaline because I have occasionally had a crash later on but I don't think that's all of it. The crashes don't always occur and there is a distinct connection to types of play.

Does anybody here have more hard information? (where's proudsub when you need her?)

< Message edited by 1RottenJohnny -- 2/20/2005 9:57:09 PM >

_____________________________

Compassion is a wonderful thing...taken in moderation!

(in reply to GrandpaLash)

Post #: 3

RE: Domspace - 2/20/2005 8:26:18 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
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To sum it up in a single word: FOCUS. The outside world contracts until it's just me and my girl. My senses are enhanced, time stands still, and I have exquisite mental clarity, as if my thoughts were carved from crystal. It's intoxicating to feel that alive.
Timothy

(in reply to GrandpaLash)

Post #: 4

RE: Domspace - 2/20/2005 8:39:03 PM

GrandpaLash

Posts: 133
Joined: 1/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176

To sum it up in a single word: FOCUS. The outside world contracts until it's just me and my girl. My senses are enhanced, time stands still, and I have exquisite mental clarity, as if my thoughts were carved from crystal. It's intoxicating to feel that alive.
Timothy

Yes, the FOCUS, nothing else intrudes. Extraordinarily relaxing and satisfying, like a very good meditation, or very good tantra.

Grandpa Lash

_____________________________

Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s without sex

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

Post #: 5

RE: Domspace - 2/20/2005 10:16:21 PM

1RottenJohnny

Posts: 113
Joined: 11/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176

To sum it up in a single word: FOCUS. The outside world contracts until it's just me and my girl. My senses are enhanced, time stands still, and I have exquisite mental clarity, as if my thoughts were carved from crystal. It's intoxicating to feel that alive.
Timothy

Bullseye!

_____________________________

Compassion is a wonderful thing...taken in moderation!

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

Post #: 6

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 12:57:18 AM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
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I think for Me is has to be the focus on the sensations and feelings. Everything else fades away and time stands still. My connection with Mine feels stronger and as if I am inside him breathing feeling with him. My awareness of every thing connected to the play is intense. I am humming like a wire inside and afterwards I feel such peace. The aches, pains, and problems have been erased for a time and I feel alive.

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to 1RottenJohnny)

Post #: 7

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 3:17:22 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

We talk a lot about subspace, but rarely have I seen anything on Domspace.

Actually, if you use the search feature, you'll find some threads on it. Here is one I remember (for obvious reasons):

Dom/me space

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to GrandpaLash)

Post #: 8

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 4:10:55 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

I remember the first time I hit anything like Dommespace. It was the second real session I'd had. I'd been performing dominant acts for years, but not knowingly. Driving home after the second session, it hit me.. a total surge of power, well being and euphoria. It was a very heady rush. I couldn't wait to do it again. Luckily, my sub was available every week, and we played our butts off, sometimes three times a week. If I timed it right, I could stay in endorphin heaven for the whole week.

The major upside of Dommespace for me? PAIN RELIEF. The extra endorphins help dull chronic pain. I have a knee that has been a problem for going on five years. The altered gait from the knee is messing up my back, causing chronic pain there also. A reallly intense session can dial that pain down to bearable without narcotics for a few days. A good session will take care of me for the length of the session and a short while after.

Playing amps me up, I feel like I've been plugged into an electric socket. Like all others who have posted, it focuses me totally on the person I'm with to the exclusion of all else. Last month, I did a public scene with my sub. There was a scene going on next to us. One of the participants of that scene had what resembled an epileptic seizure. (Turned out to be a low blood sugar problem.) Neither my sub nor myself noticed it. I've also at times noticed the time slow effect GentleLady mentions. I've played 6 hours straight and at the end gone, huh? We played that long?? It seemed like only a few hours.

The quiet time after playing, when you're cuddling and just being together makes me feel like a contented cat. I'm stuffed with energy and could just roll on the floor and purr. I have a definite feeling of peace and well being. As long as nothing intrudes to crash that, that feeling can last for hours. If for some reason I'm brought out of that state early, (like this past Friday/Sat AM, we got lost on the way home from playing.. in Los Angeles.. at 2:30AM.) I go from sweet to grumpy bitch in 2.2 seconds.

The major problem with an interruption like that is that it guarantees my dealing with a nasty case of Dommedrop 48 hours later. *hence my being awake and posting at 3AM Mon morn.* If the contended feeling gets to run its course, I end up cheerful and playful the next day. I have a sense that all is right in the world and I'm happy. When it is interrupted, I spend the 48 hours till I drop feeling a little numb. Things aren't quite real to me. I don't connect well, even with those I love. Luckily, this has happened less than a dozen times over the years.

I am prone to DommeDrop even without the interruption. I'm finding the closer my bond is with my current sub, the less drop I have. This is the first I've had in a few months. Since, in the past, I've had it almost every time I've played, I consider this respite from it remarkable.

Hmm, talk about losing time.. I just realized I've been thinking and typing this post for an hour. I'd like to think that when I wake up in the morning, things will be fine. Unfortunately, I know myself, and this drop isn't scheduled to be over till between 3PM at the earliest and about 9PM at the latest. If only the rest of my life were so predictable!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to GentleLady)

Post #: 9

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 6:19:57 AM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

Good scenes are typically a total high for me and I truly get a "rush" from them. About an hour after a scene, I tend to get emotional, sleepy, and physically tired. I think my reaction after a scene is common when the endorphins drop.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to GrandpaLash)

Post #: 10

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 6:54:25 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176

To sum it up in a single word: FOCUS. The outside world contracts until it's just me and my girl. My senses are enhanced, time stands still, and I have exquisite mental clarity, as if my thoughts were carved from crystal. It's intoxicating to feel that alive.
Timothy

Bullseye!

I had always thought that Dom space and sub space were somewhat alike. Now what has been stated here seems to be in direct contradiction to how I experience sub space. Once I enter sub space the last thing that I can conciously do is FOCUS. Quite the opposite....everything seems incredibly fuzzy...all lines blurred. This can last for hours after. It is hard to function and I have to think very hard about each thing I do.

Sir is sometimes very hungry after a good scene but even after I come around to the point of being physically able to maneuver, mentally it is still a chore. I find I have to really work at concentration so I don't do something silly like try to grill the peas and microwave the steak.

In regards to Domspace, after reading this thread I believe that FOCUS does accurately depict the changes I see in Sir. I can see why He said Bullseye! I do not profess to know what is in His head or what He is feeling, but I do see a change in Him even physically. His eyes change, they narrow, .....heck I would swear they even change color. He appears to be looking at me through a tunnel. The intensity in his expressions make me feel like He can look right inside my head....like He is no longer really just gazing into my eyes but actually penetrating them with His.

I can also say that His space seems to occur before mine and His space also seems to be the catalyst that at times triggers mine. It is like when I see that change overcoming Him it allows me to resolve myself and settle into my own, to allow Him to guide me through the course. It is like a physical sign that He is now in total control, emotionally and physically...and I can then just relax and go with it.

I wonder though, if it is endorphins that cause these changes, why is it that Dom space and sub space seem to be on such opposite ends of the spectrum? What are the differences that cause His mind to sharpen while mine dulls...His eyes to narrow and focus, while mine glaze?

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 2/21/2005 7:17:39 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to 1RottenJohnny)

Post #: 11

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 7:32:01 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

When in domspace I suppose my personality shifts to something like a stereotyped alpha male ... I become arrogant, full of myself, I feel an almost vampiric sense of sucking energy from the interaction from the sub. The next level, when I'm in full topspace and mid-scene, I feel feral and uncontrolled (although in fact I am always completely controlled, and completely focussed on guaging my partner's reactions).

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 12

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 10:45:33 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

I do not profess to know what is in His head or what He is feeling, but I do see a change in Him even physically. His eyes change, they narrow, .....heck I would swear they even change color. He appears to be looking at me through a tunnel. The intensity in his expressions make me feel like He can look right inside my head....like He is no longer really just gazing into my eyes but actually penetrating them with His.

I can also say that His space seems to occur before mine and His space also seems to be the catalyst that at times triggers mine. It is like when I see that change overcoming Him it allows me to resolve myself and settle into my own, to allow Him to guide me through the course. It is like a physical sign that He is now in total control, emotionally and physically...and I can then just relax and go with it.

I would also be very interested to know if other subs sense this transformation in their Dominants as well and if it is a non-verbal cue that allows them to drop that next step down into their own space.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 13

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 10:56:19 AM

1RottenJohnny

Posts: 113
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

...so I don't do something silly like try to grill the peas and microwave the steak.

Yes...or put the pitcher of Kool-Aid in the cupboard only to be found a day later?

_____________________________

Compassion is a wonderful thing...taken in moderation!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 11:02:58 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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Oh Sirrrr!!!! Ok...Ok....I admit it (through very red cheeks now I might add). At least you didn't tell them it was the BEDROOM cupboard it was found in. Good thing I have You to keep a close eye on me til I'm "normal" again. LOL This is also why you're in charge of the keys to the car after a scene!

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 2/21/2005 11:08:40 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to 1RottenJohnny)

Post #: 15

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 11:15:14 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Actually, if you use the search feature, you'll find some threads on it. Here is one I remember (for obvious reasons):

Dom/me space

As is my wont, I started to compose my response to the first post in one part of my brain as I read the replies with another. Then I got to this post and had a look at what I said before. Funny, the reply in my head matched the reply I gave in the linked thread. Seems I knew what I was talking about then...at least for me. *laughing*

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 16

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 11:50:31 AM

1RottenJohnny

Posts: 113
Joined: 11/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

This is also why you're in charge of the keys to the car after a scene!

(shiver) Let's not think about it!

_____________________________

Compassion is a wonderful thing...taken in moderation!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 17

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 11:54:57 AM

1RottenJohnny

Posts: 113
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Manawyddan

...when I'm in full topspace and mid-scene, I feel feral and uncontrolled.

I know what you mean. The first time I had this reaction it really bothered me.

I am, in general, a pretty laid back, "go with the flow" kind of person and this felt so counter to who I was that I was concerned that maybe I was treading where I shouldn't be. You know the cartoon of the little pig turning into the ham in the eyes of the wolf? That's exactly how I felt.

I too have a good control mechanism and despite my "high" the amount of focus I have keeps me from crossing the line. That and my feelings for erin. But it's the point where I want to push the limits the most and I have to be careful that I don't take her too far. For me, this is when I'm "dancing on the edge" and it's part of my pleasure.

OK. I wanted to say more but I think I've said enough.

_____________________________

Compassion is a wonderful thing...taken in moderation!

(in reply to Manawyddan)

Post #: 18

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 12:22:57 PM

firefey

Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline

as a switch, i've had the pleasure of hitting both dommespace and subspace. sometimes in the same night. the first time i ever went through both, it was like a rambunctious drunkeness. and i paid for it the day after with sleep and a hangover. but the pride of watching the brusies blossom on the rather tender ass of the woman i was topping, mixed with the rush of watching her quiver...yumm. i have to agree with the other dom/mes who have said focus seems to be a part of the headspace. but for me, part of the headspace is an almost giddy enjoyment of his/her pain.

(in reply to 1RottenJohnny)

Post #: 19

RE: Domspace - 2/21/2005 1:18:50 PM

GrandpaLash

Posts: 133
Joined: 1/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I had always thought that Dom space and sub space were somewhat alike. Now what has been stated here seems to be in direct contradiction to how I experience sub space. Once I enter sub space the last thing that I can conciously do is FOCUS. Quite the opposite....everything seems incredibly fuzzy...all lines blurred. This can last for hours after. It is hard to function and I have to think very hard about each thing I do.

quote:

The thing is, we Doms/Dominas HAVE to focus - it is our responsibility to keep part of our consciousness aware of the changes in our sub's body language and responses, but successful Domspace, I think, comes with being able to incorporate that focus as part of our 'high'. The intensity of the focus is what gets me there in the first place.

And it's interesting that you mention eyes, both because my subs always comment about my eyes in scenes, and because, when I have been with subs who go into subspace (and not all do) THEIR eyes change. Often they look stoned, or the pupils expand to fill the whole eye almost, and the eye colour consequently changes dramatically.

Grandpa Lash

_____________________________

Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s without sex

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 20

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