behindmirrors
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha
quote:
ORIGINAL: agirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha
I told him that maybe if I had a "punishment" for it, it would help. I don't mean by making me stop doing it..but more of a reminder at the end of the day about the bad thing I did. The belt would give me a chance to think about it, and remind me what I am doing to myself each time I binge/purge.
I don't think it's the act itself, I mean.. if someone wants to do something bad enough, they will. It's more the fact of having to answer for that thing and having a chance to reflect on the "bad behavior" that I know would help for me.
The true part of being able to stop though, to lose weight, to do something about an act, has to be something they person wants, or I don't think any amount of beating, spanking, etc..will do much good.
Kasha
I would differ greatly from you in this. I don't feel BADLY when I do things that aren't good for me. I see them as a problem or *something that needs sorting out*. I don't need to reflect on them and I don't want to answer for them........I either want them *fixed* or I don't...........that's the bottom line.
agirl
I guess we all face and deal with things in a different way. Yes, I would love my bulimia fixed, but I know it's not easy and it doesn't happen over night. What I wanted and needed is maybe some way to deter me from doing it, though I am not sure what it will be. I have read things, I know the dangers, I have had the bleeding and other health related problems associated with it.
I know that punishment will not "cure" the problem, only I can do that with time and more..but what I hope is that it will cause me to stop the act, until the sickness can be cured..not sure if that makes sense to others, but it does to me.
To each their own, I have dealt with many addictions and such in the past few years and I usually beat them..this is the only one out of my grasp thus far.
The toll it's taking on me in so many ways, is just something I am trying to quick fix until the bigger picture is taken care of.
That's sort of what I was saying to the OP, about the weight loss thing. He can do what he wants, or what she wants, but she will still have that food to face the rest of her life and he isn't going to be there to spank her everytime she reaches for a ding dong.
Kasha
Kasha:
I completely understand your struggle- I've been there too. I had to devise my own system for getting past it- and the whole "punishment for doing" thing just made me tailspin. I ended up devising a plan that would make me feel better about myself as a person- and eliminate all the time I would be using to binge/purge on better things. I also struggled with anorexia, so depending on where I was at with what symptoms, it did make things a little more difficult. Take care of yourself, and good luck. Let me know if you ever need someone to talk to about all this, or a cheerleading squad for the tough stuff. I wish you the best.
To the OP:
My opinion is this: if you hate to be punished, maybe avoiding it by doing what you are required to do works for you. But, behavioral psychology tells me that the best thing is to be rewarded for doing what you need to do- i.e. do the paperwork, get a special treat of some kind (whatever it is that makes one happy). In cases like Kasha's (sorry hon, you're a handy example- hope you don't mind too much), this could be something special that she really enjoys after each day she makes it through without an episode of bulimia. In time, she learns to get rid of the negative behavior, and has less risk of developing a pathological loop in her head, and these things can be moved back to a reward for each week, month, etc. My theory is this: in a condition like an eating disorder, you already generally have a large amount of shame/unhappiness over the activity. Punishment for it just reinforces that you are doing something bad, and you can develop some serious issues with that. With other things, like needing to get a specific, mundane task done, I still think it better to work towards something (a reward) than to work under the threat of being punished if you don't do something, but with nothing to necessarily look forward to upon completion except not getting punished.
To conclude my theory: it is my belief that either rewarding for a certain behavior or activity, or offering both a punishment and a reward for the behavior or activity depending on the outcome is more successful than just informing someone that they will be punished if they do a certain action or do not do a certain action. This must be followed with consistency for adequate change to be made, as well as proceeded by a commitment of both individuals to both desire this change and work towards it.
Just my $5.00-
behindmirrors.
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RE: Spanking helping objectives - 
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), it was the same for me then. i guess i'm just one of those that doesn't respond well to the 'reward system'. i have a son who is the same way (wonder where he got that from 
). If he started acting up in the grocery store, no promise of any treat could get him to stop....but the threat of a smack on the butt worked every time. 
RE: Spanking helping objectives - 
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