quote:

ORIGINAL: siamsa24

To me, a doormat means the same thing that it does everywhere else. That the person in question allows others to walk all over them. They never stand up for themselves, even if it is harmful for them to stay in a situation.
Maybe some people want a submissive to be like that, but you have to wonder if that is a safe situation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSilvie
Maybe, but does it really make sense to boo and hiss at people who have low self-esteem? Doesn’t that complicate their problem more than address it?

So what does “doormat” mean to you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: liltxsubby

These are just my thoughts on what it means to be a doormat. It would mean being treated like dirt, with no thoughts for my well-being and/or feelings. I would be mainly a toy and when Dom didn't want to play i would be ignored. I would not be allowed to express my own opinions or thoughts, wants or needs.

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Do you mean all the time? Or at the dominants desire?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSilvie

So what does “doormat” mean to you?

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ORIGINAL: Gemeni
There is no such thing as a doormat.

Only insecure people who can't understand that it takes more fortitude to give up control, than to battle for it with each other incessantly.

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ORIGINAL: handsofpleasure

Using someone as a doormat indicates a total lack of respect. A lack of respect on the subs part for allowing someone to go beyond clearly defined limits and into abuse.

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ORIGINAL: handsofpleasure
Using someone as a doormat indicates a total lack of respect. A lack of respect on the subs part for allowing someone to go beyond clearly defined limits and into abuse.

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I agree... I would never go beyond our clearly defined limits, unless it was his desire that I do that (because I'm selfless like that..

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A lack of respect on the doms part for thinking that submissive means less than nothing.

I don't date or use anyone whom I think is less than nothing; I've also never met anyone like that; even the most extreme slaves I've met who've wanted to be treated as less than human, have very specific desires and scenarios of how they want their lives to be, so essentially they want to run the show (in my view), and when I tell them I'll only treat you like a pup when I feel like having a pup, or as a toilet when that is what I need, conversation breaks down, because they want only what they want..

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In a true D/s relationship each partner defines what is acceptable behaviour. What one sub may accept as acceptable behaviour may be totally different than another subs opinion.

Again I'm in agreement with you, but in conversation (getting to know yah), telling me what you like/need/want never necessitates "doormat" word; simply a response of I'm not comfortable with that, and I don't want to engage in that would suffice.

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But when a dom goes beyond those limits for any reason he ( or she) is indicating a lack of respect for the other person and shouldnt be surprised when their sub suddenly begins to show a lack of respect for them.

Did I suggest that in anyway, anywehre on my post? If I did, would you point it out?
My thread is the one indicated above by proudsub "no doormat"....
I don't disrespect/devalue anyone, unless that's what floats his boat (so to speak). I do like a submissive who isn't afraid of submission though; if in the course of conversation I find someone wants things that I don't/needs things I cannot provide, we part on friendly terms; I'm no super Domina, and he's no perfect sub for me, but I always respect those who respect me. M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to handsofpleasure)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
I have often wondered what you would call a doormat that just let people walk all over it...
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