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RE: Doormats? - 2/25/2005 10:33:23 PM

urminenow

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/3/2004
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2. (figurative) A person who is habitually abused, taken
advantage of or humiliated; sometimes, one who is
physically weak; as, they used him for a doormat.

Those of us who choose to be a doormat kind of change Webster's meaning.. in some cases, it benefits us..

< Message edited by urminenow -- 2/25/2005 10:36:33 PM >

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RE: Doormats? - 2/26/2005 6:26:42 AM

Borek

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Montreal
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That can be see in a more sensual way too,

The Mistress can be barefeet and do a soft trample to his slave on the bed, the slave look like a doormat too but it's more erotic in this way.
It can be therapeutic too, the Mistress put some pressure with her feet (full weight) to relax the back of the slave by doing him a massage... I don't know... after a poney play, that can be see as a reward for the slave

Mistresses always on top

Borek.

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RE: Doormats? - 2/26/2005 10:48:21 AM

Sissyslave71

Posts: 226
Joined: 2/20/2005
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quote:

So what does “doormat” mean to you?

For me....simply stated.

It means being with a dominant who does not really care about me as a person and only sees me as property.
Someone who could care less if I need to have, creativity, romance, love and fulfillment in my life.

Someone who cares only about themselves and tends to be an elitist snob.

Someone who would tolerate this..i would consider to be a "doormat".

But if that is what a sub or slave wants...go for it. Not me.

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RE: Doormats? - 2/27/2005 9:41:15 AM

SinTwister

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Personally, I've always hated the term"true sub". Since everyone goes about living this lifestyle differently, there really is no definition of "true sub". Master considers me to be his match, but a lot of others wouldn't.

Doormat, yup, seen 'em. I've seen subbies do things that just make me shake my head. Then there's the one thing that's been driving me crazy lately. On our quest to find the third for our relationship, we talk to so many women that just tell us what they think we want to hear, instead of telling us about their hopes, dreams, desires and needs.

There can't be a power exchange, if you don't have any power to exchange in the first place.

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RE: Doormats? - 2/27/2005 9:49:34 AM

krikket

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Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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What i have found interesting over the years is that i'll hear a dom say (in my best domly voice).. "I don't want a doormat". But...when i stand up for myself, express myself (respectfully most of the time), i hear )in my best whiny domly voice) "boy, you sure don't act submissive".

LOL!!

Sometimes ya can't win. <g>

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

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RE: Doormats? - 2/27/2005 11:06:00 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: urminenow

2. (figurative) A person who is habitually abused, taken
advantage of or humiliated; sometimes, one who is
physically weak; as, they used him for a doormat.

Those of us who choose to be a doormat kind of change Webster's meaning.. in some cases, it benefits us..

In a forum such as on Collarme, the use of the word "doormats" is taken in the context of generalized BDSM definitions/termology.

As a general submissive type of personality, all my life, i agree with many of the definitions already given ...lack of respect for one's self, low self esteem ...but how does one (anyone) get to this point?
urminenow i think, in my opinion, has given a realistic answer. A person who is habitually abused (emotionally, psychologically, physically, mentally), taken advantage of and humiliated because they are weak (emotionally, psychologically, physically, sexually, mentally) and allows themselves to be for some deep inner need or lack of "something" (of course this is different for every person).

i can tell you that i developed a passive reactionary aggressive approach to life in general cause i was deemed vulnerable to those in authority in my life, so allowing their "use" was taken advantge of. But when i became aware... and that is the key (IMHO) ... it was my chice to do something about who i was and would become.

Doormats or vulnerable human beings (i shall use that as my woking definition right now) are not only in this "lifestyle" but are also everywhere.

One can choose to continue to be vulnerable or they can choose to do something about it.
The choice is a personal one depending on awareness and need to change.

i work with medically vulnerable children and their families.
i know vulnerable people who choose to stay vulnerable and yes it frustrates me.
i am also a recovereing vulnerable person and it still frustrates me when i am a doormat and realize it only later.

If, within this lifestyle, doormat means i blindly obey only because Master requires that i trust and obey without question, then yes, i am a doormat.
i confess, obedience is a long process of bending to one's will no matter what the cost and for anyone to admit that it is easy, IMHO, is just not willing to admit they have a will of their own. i choose to make my will His will and so often i fail and taste the dust of bitterness, but it is how i get up and walk again that makes the difference.

Is this not true of teacher/student? Employer/employee? Mother~Father/child? Friend/friend? Abuser/victom? Medical system/patient? well, any relationship?

just my thoughts on doormats today.

shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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