RE: Ever have your sub demand an end to D/s and want to go vanilla?

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RE: Ever have your sub demand an end to D/s and want to... - 12/25/2006 8:10:21 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

Guess I should have called it quits when she 1st cheated, pathologically lied and stole from me huh? Guess I'm not as smart as I'd like to believe sometimes

Before moving on and re-creating this same problem with another woman you need to look at your failures in the situation. These are much deeper than "maybe I should have called it quits when she cheated". Most women don't cheat for the heck of it. Look deeper into the relationship. What attracted you to her in the first place, what motivated you to ignore and rationalize her behavior? What can you learn from this situation? What we don't learn from our failures we are doomed to repeat.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 12/25/2006 8:12:25 PM >

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RE: Ever have your sub demand an end to D/s and want to... - 12/25/2006 8:21:49 PM

Supershovel83

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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Please understand I took this relationship to a new level of devotion. I essentially gave her my life. I gave her access to my bank accounts, I helped my children love her, I gave her my cars, I was in a Harley wreck and lost my sense of taste and smell with her. I gave up a prosperous business, I gave up many family and friends who hated and despised her. I took her up high, above all other females and not only worshipped but endeavored to teach and share. In the end I thought if you took the lowest of the low and offered them everything and they still chose not to love you and honor you then that would be a true definition of your own worth. Now I can honestly say it's not always the things you don't do that you regret and that in the end you really can't fix stupid.

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RE: Ever have your sub demand an end to D/s and want to... - 12/25/2006 8:41:56 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Supershovel83

Please understand I took this relationship to a new level of devotion. I essentially gave her my life. I gave her access to my bank accounts, I helped my children love her, I gave her my cars, I was in a Harley wreck and lost my sense of taste and smell with her. I gave up a prosperous business, I gave up many family and friends who hated and despised her. I took her up high, above all other females and not only worshipped but endeavored to teach and share. In the end I thought if you took the lowest of the low and offered them everything and they still chose not to love you and honor you then that would be a true definition of your own worth. Now I can honestly say it's not always the things you don't do that you regret and that in the end you really can't fix stupid.

No matter what you gave me, how well you treated me, or how much you loved me, if you thought the things about me that you have said about your girl I would never love you. Because there would be no way in hell you could ever convince me that you actually did love me and such things show. You can't think your girlfriend is a trailer slut without her finding out about it (I realize you didn't say that, just making a point). I agree - you need to examine your own behavior. Just because you gave up a bunch of things for her doesn't actually mean you loved her and the way you've talked about her I have a hard time believing you respected her at all. In this lifestyle, I feel you still need respect your submissive a coherent human being. I know others will disagree with me on this.

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RE: Ever have your sub demand an end to D/s and want to... - 12/26/2006 9:42:11 AM

Celeste43

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Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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Of course, if the kind of person you pick is incapable of monogamy after agreeing to it, is an actively drinking alcoholic, has major emotional issues etc then this doesn't say anything good about you. What it says about you is that you are majorly insecure or you wouldn't have sought out someone you could feel superior to in all these areas. I would suggest getting your own house of cards in order before playing with someone else's.

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RE: Ever have your sub demand an end to D/s and want to... - 12/30/2006 5:52:56 PM

Donnalee

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Joined: 7/15/2006
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quote:

On her part she really is by nature a very disorganized, irresponsible, immature and submissive person by upbringing. Unfortunately, there are a whole host of other obnoxious and less than attractive behaviors that also go along with that. I offered every noble and worthwhile attribute I had. Don't get me wrong... I won't claim to be perfect but I actually did bring a lot more to the table. On her part all she had to do was try to stop being a whory immature alcoholic. Easier said than done. In the end I leave this with a further huge debt, a regret for having improved her life and a sadness for having given my all to something so beautiful and natural with someone so beyond realization. My quest continues for a woman who is worthy of sharing the journey with.

Wow. Now tell us what you really feel.

lol

After reading this, and your next post I find myself wishing you a chance to heal and look into what ever made you go so far into something like that before you head into your next relationship.

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RE: Ever have your sub demand an end to D/s and want to... - 12/30/2006 6:39:01 PM

windchymes

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It's a hard lesson to learn, but a good one. Never try to "fix" people, especially alcoholics. Addictions are bigger than you are, and bigger than they are, and 99% of the time, the addiction will win. They have to want to be "fixed", you can't force, bribe, entice, beat, or love them into it.

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RE: Ever have your sub demand an end to D/s and want to... - 12/30/2006 8:37:18 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

It's a hard lesson to learn, but a good one. Never try to "fix" people, especially alcoholics. Addictions are bigger than you are, and bigger than they are, and 99% of the time, the addiction will win. They have to want to be "fixed", you can't force, bribe, entice, beat, or love them into it.

i totally agree,

i am so sorry you hurt yourself....

i hope you get better soon.

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