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Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/22/2006 9:13:15 PM

SoftTop

Posts: 24
Joined: 3/23/2006
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How do you handle it?
I ask, because I have been asked if my silence is a sign of pride. In pain scenarios, I tend to stay very focused and quiet, only giving small grunts or sharp breaths.I am very much more vocal when receiving pleasure, but for pain (spankings, whippings etc) I do stay quiet, and in fact I would very likely pass out before I would make noise. I don't find myself thinking "I better not make noise" its just how its always been. What do you do? Do your partner(s) prefer you to remain silent, or do they want to hear your agony/extacy?
Thanks :)
Softie

Post #: 1

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/22/2006 9:19:08 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

when receiving pleasure, i am usually loud, although i try to tone it down because of the neighbors ;) when receiving pain, sometimes it goes one way and sometimes another...i used to be very stoic and would refuse to cry out at all, but now i do and i find that i enjoy it more that way. he's never really expressed a preference.

(in reply to SoftTop)

Post #: 2

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/22/2006 9:20:07 PM

Hisgirlforever

Posts: 32
Joined: 11/14/2006
Status: offline

Well my Daddy does like me to stay quite and some times tells me to stay quite but a lot of times it is because we have family living upstairs. I am vey loud during pleasure and pain. Lately I can not seem to take getting spankings with the paddle. I cry out and move around and then I get in trouble :)

(in reply to SoftTop)

Post #: 3

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/22/2006 9:45:51 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

He loves my screams during pleasure (I get quite loud). But he prefers me to take pain without protesting it. Not an easy thing for me to learn to do.

(in reply to SoftTop)

Post #: 4

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/22/2006 10:23:06 PM

mymasterssub69

Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

it depends how hard the spankings are. Daddy is a heavy hitter.

i'm a loud screamer but can hold it in (with the help of a bag gag sometimes) when told to

_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 5

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 12:42:56 AM

Siona

Posts: 242
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline

I'm silent except for the sounds of deep breathing.
The more intense things get..the harder I breathe.

Edited to say..
When it comes to sexual pleasure, silence is not in my vocabulary.

< Message edited by Siona -- 12/23/2006 12:45:16 AM >

(in reply to mymasterssub69)

Post #: 6

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 3:21:59 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Master prefers I am loud when I receive pleasure (I have always been quiet), he also likes to hear when I have pain. I find I can handle a lot more pain if I can be quiet and stay focused on it. When I make noise, or I allow myself to, my pain tolerance is much, much lower.

I know what will give Master most pleasure though, and that is what I do.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to SoftTop)

Post #: 7

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 5:41:37 AM

untamedshysub

Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline

it may go deeper than pride, and you have to look within to see why you dont cry out in pain or at punishment. For me I learned as a child if I cried when beaten the beatings would stop and I decided that showing that to them allowed them ( my parents) to win and I would not allow them to win so I stopped crying or showing any emotion when beaten. I was an adult before I realized that I did not cry or show emotion when hurt would just withdraw within myself and allow another part of me to take over when in pain. I am learning how to blend me all into one person not an easy task but I have learned with the help of some very good Dom/mme friends its okay to cry when hurting.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 8

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 6:02:37 AM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

I prefer a more expressive sub/slave, in pleasure AND pain.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to untamedshysub)

Post #: 9

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 7:34:05 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I yell, moan, beg him to stop (even though I do not want him to stop

), I get quiet and breath hard, I pant, I laugh, I have been close to tears at times....

He wants me to act the way I feel like acting as far as I know. He has never had a set way he wants me to respond, he wants my responses to be unchoreographed. He gets aroused by my reactions.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/23/2006 7:37:40 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SoftTop)

Post #: 10

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 7:45:22 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: untamedshysub

it may go deeper than pride, and you have to look within to see why you dont cry out in pain or at punishment. For me I learned as a child if I cried when beaten the beatings would stop and I decided that showing that to them allowed them ( my parents) to win and I would not allow them to win so I stopped crying or showing any emotion when beaten. I was an adult before I realized that I did not cry or show emotion when hurt would just withdraw within myself and allow another part of me to take over when in pain. I am learning how to blend me all into one person not an easy task but I have learned with the help of some very good Dom/mme friends its okay to cry when hurting.

You touched on something here that I recently discovered for myself. It's no secret I was abused as a youngster, and I have been working through many of those issues in recent years. However, those issues always centered around mental/emotional anguish. I've also made it no secret here that I am a pain wimp. Recently he pushed me in this area.and while I endured what he wanted me to endure, I couldn't help but look up at him like a wounded animal afterwards, thinking, "What would you do that to me??" In processing my emotions about it, I remembered being struck (as a youngster) repeatedly while being told I wasn't liked or loved, and that I was stupid. So in the back of my mind I equated difficult pain with being unloved or uncared about, and connected those dots with my Master. Something else to work on, I suppose. I wish we could pass that one by...lol

Now that I know better I'll be pushed again (gulp) but he still likes me to stifle myself to a degree. Then again I do get pretty loud...

(in reply to untamedshysub)

Post #: 11

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 8:03:09 AM

PapiNsweet

Posts: 36
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftTop

How do you handle it?
I ask, because I have been asked if my silence is a sign of pride. In pain scenarios, I tend to stay very focused and quiet, only giving small grunts or sharp breaths.I am very much more vocal when receiving pleasure, but for pain (spankings, whippings etc) I do stay quiet, and in fact I would very likely pass out before I would make noise. I don't find myself thinking "I better not make noise" its just how its always been. What do you do? Do your partner(s) prefer you to remain silent, or do they want to hear your agony/extacy?
Thanks :)
Softie

i generally take both pain and pleasure in silence. tho it's not something i consciously think about, i know i have a lot of guilt connected with open expressions of those two emotions. so although, like og, i am a total and complete pain wimp, i have never been the type to cry out when in pain. now tears i will shed because that is silent and can easily go unnoticed, but it takes a lot for a sound to come out of me, and even when it does, it's nothing more than a quiet gasp or sigh.
my Master likes this very much, noisy subs/slaves irritate him to a high degree. however i've been with others who were either disturbed by my silence, or misinterpreted my silence as a sign that they weren't beating me severely enough, and so doubled their efforts.

prop.

< Message edited by PapiNsweet -- 12/23/2006 8:04:46 AM >

(in reply to SoftTop)

Post #: 12

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 8:32:34 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

In processing my emotions about it, I remembered being struck (as a youngster) repeatedly while being told I wasn't liked or loved, and that I was stupid. So in the back of my mind I equated difficult pain with being unloved or uncared about, and connected those dots with my Master. Something else to work on, I suppose. I wish we could pass that one by...lol

I am so sorry that people did this to you. Does your master tell you how good you are and how pleasing you are when he inflicts pain on you? It may reprogram your mind to feel differently about being struck if he does this. I was hardly ever spanked, and never told things like that when I was spanked. I was told why I was being spanked, and I was still loved even though I was being spanked.

Like my Daddy says, some parents are fucked in the head

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/23/2006 8:34:05 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 13

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 8:58:14 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: untamedshysub
...For me I learned as a child if I cried when beaten... the beatings would stop...

I learned that one too, and as I got older, for the most part the beatings did stop. (They got more into humiliation and face-slapping. For the longest time I thought that would be a hard limit; but that's another story!) Hell, I was bigger than my mother. Still, when I was a teenager and she took a wide, leather leash to my naked butt and legs, I refused to cry. LOL, by then I guess I didn’t care how long she went at it…I didn’t want to give in and let her ‘win’. Teenagers!

Now, when I submit to a very Dominant friend of mine (or his wife, for that matter), I generally just moan as he warms up with a flogger. When he moves into a singletail, before long I’m crying like a baby. I beg him to quit…I tell him “no no no no” (none of which is a safeword, LOL) I like it; he likes it. Ultimately, it’s a cathartic release for me, I think. By the time my friend is finished…I’m well marked up and sobbing snottily; the Sadist! LOL

Sometimes, they need to move me into another room because it kinda upsets the newbies. Sometimes when I watch newbies, I wonder why a girl will yelp at every little touch. Heck, some squeal at a bunny flogger; makes me wonder if the whole thing isn’t contrived.

Course, I hate paddles and when anybody starts off bending me over something and hauling of with one of those, I’m mad as hell and complaining from the get-go! Gawd those things are awful! LOL

Yeah, julia...me thinks Sadists love to watch a girl squirm; moan and cry, hard even...they just like it better. (the beasts!!!)

Doncha just love 'em?
beverly

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 14

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 9:03:35 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Thanks, Julia. I put that out there, not for sympathetic attention but to share this new and crazy discovery of mine. However, your sentiment is kind and very much appreciated.

My Master always tells me when I have pleased him, and his pride in me simply glows sometimes. Then again he also tells me when I have displeased him, and corrects any response he finds inappropriate (for my own sake as well as the sake of our relationship). If my response to pain is inappropriate, it will be corrected. That was the case this last time (gulp).When he understands where it comes from and sees me trying very hard to work through it (like this last time), his corrections are far less severe. It is not the angst that troubles him so much; it is what I will sometimes do with it. I see such corrections as his very concerted effort to keep our relationship healthy and happy in the long run, and that speaks volumes to how much he cares about me. Sometimes he will see me getting spooked during a whipping and will immediately bring me back to my center before continuing.

I believe his preference to have me NOT wailing till the cows come home is because my wailing is typically a way for me to protest what he is doing, and I am learning to accept all he does. I am not stifled into complete silence, but shrieking "OH GOD OH GOD PLEEEEASE STOP" at the top of my lungs while twisting around to escape does not appeal to him and is not good for me. What makes him most aroused and proud is when I will endure for him, despite the difficulty.

Sinergy is correct - my mother is not well, and never was. She was a 10 year old (mentally and emotionally) trying to raise 5 children. Yet, it is amazing how close we are now, despite the damage done.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 15

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 9:09:00 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

I beg him to quit…I tell him “no no no no” (none of which is a safeword, LOL) I like it; he likes it. Ultimately, it’s a cathartic release for me, I think. By the time my friend is finished…I’m well marked up and sobbing snottily; the Sadist! LOL

I grabbed this quote because I am finding it so fascinating to learn how others respond, and what differences there are out there. This is a really interesting thread for me! In my case "no no no" is a big no no, lol. But to others it enhances their time together. The human mind is an amazing thing...lol.

(in reply to Bearlee)

Post #: 16

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 10:09:04 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

That would depend on what he was trying to achieve.

Once or twice, with a punishment, he's told me not to utter a sound, or it would be started from the beginning again.....but in years, that's probably only happened twice. Those are the only times when I had to think about my reactions.

If I'm in pain I cry and cry out....that's my natural reaction. He doesn't really care how I react. He doesn't *want to hear my agony OR my pleasure*......as far as I'm aware, he just wants me to be myself.

agirl

(in reply to SoftTop)

Post #: 17

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 10:28:02 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
I beg him to quit…I tell him “no no no no” (none of which is a safeword, LOL) I like it; he likes it. Ultimately, it’s a cathartic release for me, I think. By the time my friend is finished…I’m well marked up and sobbing snottily; the Sadist! LOL

I grabbed this quote because I am finding it so fascinating to learn how others respond, and what differences there are out there. This is a really interesting thread for me! In my case "no no no" is a big no no, lol. But to others it enhances their time together. The human mind is an amazing thing...lol.

Now, HOW is what I do any different than ...shrieking "OH GOD OH GOD PLEEEEASE STOP" ?

I have to let you know...He just laughs at me when I say things like please quit or 'nononnononono'. While I do not 'belong' to him we are good friends and play without safewords. He knows my body well, I trust him to quit when he's ready to quit or knows I've had enough.
b

edited to add a piece of online conversation he and I are sharing as I type here.

"The no no no.....it is interesting for me, cause when I sit here, I go, why the hell do I let her say no? but then I go ,.hmmmmmmm, because it is sooooo damn fun and hot to watch you struggle...I literally almost fell on the floor laughing last time"

Kinda lets you know how HE feels about it all. LOL

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 12/23/2006 10:34:29 AM >

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 18

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 10:36:41 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
Now, HOW is what I do any different than ...shrieking "OH GOD OH GOD PLEEEEASE STOP" ?

Because you're allowed to do that - - I'm um...encouraged not to, lol.

Got a good chuckle out of the rest of your post. :)

(in reply to Bearlee)

Post #: 19

RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 10:45:53 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I have just read your post, ownedgirlie.......I don't think I can remember a single time when my Master said he was *pleased with me*...........and barely a time when he expressed displeasure, either.

Sometimes I think I have a very strange relationship....lol

agirl

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 20

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