am i alone? (Full Version)

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tearsandtorment -> am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:07:26 PM)

i am a 23year old single mom, i am currently on leave from work cause i had a baby not to long ago. i seem to keep running into Doms that are just wanting one night stands. or a sub to play with while their wife is not home. i am wanting to relocate to a new area yet when i meet a Dom they want to move in with me? i am just wondering if there is a Dom out there for me? i've been told its to much to ask to have a Dom that is with in ten years of my age but thats something i cant change so how do i handle being harassed all the time?



RedSavageSlave -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:11:04 PM)

Please understand that I am not trying to "judge" your situation, but you say you just had a baby and are looking to relocate..

You need to give yourself some time to adjust to the changes in your life that you are already facing. When your life is more settled, you will be better able to take on the "not so insignificant" task of finding a life partner. Give yourself some time and when the time is right, your one will come into the picture.

Good luck to you and your little one. [:)]



kajiramre -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:11:57 PM)

No, you aren't alone...  i don't know why it would be a stretch to find a dom that's within 10 years of your age. 



mnottertail -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:12:39 PM)

How is it that you are harrassed?  What is your timeline, how is it that you don't have hundreds of  children, have had every bone in your body broken thousands of time, and haven't had the pleasure of snuffing up some stray pussy in prison.

These things are part and parcel of common sense.  People try you on all day in life, some you laugh off, some you listen to, some you give the widest possible berth.


Nothing to get frantic about, it just is--- frustration is common in humans.


Ron



tearsandtorment -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:13:26 PM)

RedSavageSlave-thanks hun, i know what your saying, but i was long before she was born prepaired to move. she doesnt effect my efforts just slows them down in a good way *S*

kajiramre-thank you for the reply as well, i just feel like i am alone right now becuase it seems like alot of my sub friends have found their happiness, but mine seems so far away



tearsandtorment -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:14:41 PM)

mnottertail-i never said it wasnt common i was stating how i feel



crouchingtigress -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:16:56 PM)

you know that saying you have to kiss a lot of frogs? same goes.
 
you are dating. there will be wankers, free loaders, cheaters, playas, but you get through them. keep your focus on yourself your learning and your kid (which just to be safe we call "your unmentionable" to stay with in the rules of the terms of service) and make friends in your local community....lots of support there.
 
one thing though, are you willing to uproot for the right dom because of his great domliness? i dont know if that is really a great reason (having lived that myself) I think if you want to leave where you are there is nothing wrong with that....but when you say willing to move for the right dom send a message that you dont care a lot about your life and roots...which seem a little desperate and i am NOT saying you are....but maybe have that conversation down the road a bit..not in your profile..and maybe that will fend off some of the one night standers and free loaders.



mnottertail -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:17:01 PM)

Then I am afraid you have completely missed my point.  hopefully one of the translators will be along, like Aileen or so and fill you in.

Ron



tearsandtorment -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:19:17 PM)

crouchingtigress
i am willing to move for the right Dom, meaning the Dom that i am going to spend the rest of my life with. not just some guy that i have common interests with. :)

mnottertail- *shrugs*



kajiramre -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:19:25 PM)

tears, for some the search is a long one.. i've been looking on and off for years..  i understand the frustration and the worry that there is something wrong with your standards, but you know what.. there isn't.   Just think how much more special it will be when you two do find each other.  



tearsandtorment -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:21:40 PM)

kajiramre- that is true, i had a Dom whom i loved very much but after being together for four years things didnt work out how we planned. so its hard starting over again. even though i've taken time to move on and get over Him, its still hard to see myself finding someone that made me feel the way he did as a person and submissive.



crouchingtigress -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:21:41 PM)

i dont speak the best nottereese, but i think he is saying what i said, sure those kind of creeps exist and will want to hit on you but you dont have to date them, if you sharpen your dork-detector radar skills.



tearsandtorment -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:23:03 PM)

hmmm well if thats what He means then i think i understand, and i should probley have tried to understand it alittle better but i guess with my state of mind right now i am not thinking clearly.



Focus50 -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:42:52 PM)

Hi and welcome to the Forums... [:)]
 
Unfortunately, young and female ensures you're always gonna have "wolves" at your door.  All I can suggest is that you don't invest time reasoning with or explaining yourself to anyone you consider pushy, rude or insincere etc.  If they lack even basic manners, ignore and even block them....
 
There is most likely the right Dom for you but finding that right person is rarely easy.  So, like your email above, you decide what's acceptable and what isn't as you search.  Hardly any vanillas marry the first person they date, for eg.
 
A responsible Dom within 10 years of your age?  Easier if you're 40 or 30, much more scarce for 23....  The Dom/me is the one charged with responsibility and decision making etc for *both* within a D/s relationship, so there tends to be fewer young Dom/mes than subs.  Even a teen sub only hasta make one big decision when entering a D/s relationship (who with) while the Dom/me faces ongoing responsibility and decision making.
 
Some spend decades seeking the right match and there are those who never do find their one.  You'll need patience and a clear head for the choices you make in the future.  And *always" trust your own instincts about others.  If you get a gut feeling to run, I'd suggest fast and far!  Good luck.
 
Focus.



tearsandtorment -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:43:59 PM)

Focus50 thank You, i will take Your advise.



akbarbarian -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:44:31 PM)

I'm 31, so within your age group but not looking to be a father any time soon.  I think the same situation can be found in vanilla circles.  As a mom, you have to find someone not only compatible with you but who wants children as well.  I'm sure they are out there, but that narrows your options.  Good luck.

Edited to add:  Your consern about one night stands, is that men can get their cake without having to wash the dishes so to speak.  And with kids, that's alot of dishes to wash.



tearsandtorment -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:45:39 PM)

akbarbarian- ok see thats where alot of People misunderstand, i dont look for a dad for my baby, she has one. and i dont plan on replacing him just becuase we arent together.



akbarbarian -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:48:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tearsandtorment

akbarbarian- ok see thats where alot of People misunderstand, i dont look for a dad for my baby, she has one. and i dont plan on replacing him just becuase we arent together.

Could be they don't want to share you with mommyhood either.  If I was serious about a woman, I'd want her all to myself at a moments notice.  No diapers, no feeding, no soccer practice, etc.  I don't want to seem in the least harsh, but it prevents both of us from finding our mates so it might as well be discussed.  Alot of women either have, or want kids, where I currently don't.  Women I might otherwise do great with.



mnottertail -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:51:43 PM)

Oh Gawd,

I mean this in the best possible sense, but you are so very 23.  When you relocate to Gumshoe,  ND or even 20 miles from where you are now, who will wipe the babies tears, change diapers when you are sick, clean vomit when you are sick of it, and administer instruction, discipline and humanity to the child?

If you are bought, the entire package must be considered.

We certainly know how YOU feel, but I wonder where you lie in terms of the interaction in this thing, it looks (and it may be a flitting thing) that is pretty you centered.

Ron



MaryT -> RE: am i alone? (12/23/2006 2:52:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress
one thing though, are you willing to uproot for the right dom because of his great domliness? i dont know if that is really a great reason (having lived that myself) I think if you want to leave where you are there is nothing wrong with that....but when you say willing to move for the right dom send a message that you dont care a lot about your life and roots...


It don't know whether it's the cynic in me or the analytic, but when I see a dom who is willing to relocate, I think, "Oh,  he doesn't have a life."  That may or may not be fair, but someone who is engaged in and enjoying his life looks far more appealing to me.

Just a note of caution to others looking - two gentleman in the "willing to relocate" category that I corresponded with here seem to be homeless ... something to think about, eh?

Good luck to you, tears.  The more you can feel secure with and enjoy your own life, the better your chances of meeting someone with those same qualities.  [:)]

MaryT



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